When the train passed, I stopped running. I stood trembling, gasping for breath. Diesel fumes soaked the damp, frigid air. My phlegmy coughs bounced around the tunnel, drowning the bats banter. Watching the flashing red taillight disappear around the corner, I never imagined that Count was already on his way home.
I sprinted out of the tunnel. If anything happens to him, it'll be my fucking fault. I jumped into my hooptie and cranked the heater. My teeth rattled in the heater's blast. Nothing's going to happen, it's just a stupid legend!"
At home, I took a long hot shower, shivering in the steam. I shivered my way under the blankets and shivered myself to sleep. When dreams came, I shivered myself awake as the rat squealed and wiggled its whiskers, condemning me for being reckless with my friend's life. Bolting, I sat shivering at attention in my dark bedroom, drowning in a cold sweat, my head pounded to the echoes of the rushing freight.
I shivered as the pipe organ sprang to life, relieving me of the rat's image. In front of the church, the reverend stepped away from the lectern and made his way across the alter. Someplace deep inside, something gave way; my jaw quivered, my sobs erupted.
My father's whisper replaced the rat's squeal, "Suck it up, bud. Hey, don't cry." Tears flooded over me; I buried my face into his shoulder. I bit my lower lip, hoping the pain would distract the tears "Suck it up James," dad ordered slapping my back. Around us the congregation burst into song.
Shannie wrapped her arm around my waist, snatching me away from my father. "Let it go Just James," Shannie whispered into my ear. "Let it go, it's okay." Clinging to her, I trembled violently. I buried my head in her chest, my tears soaked her black dress. Through my sobs, my ears found her heart, its beat ever soothing, the softness of her breast caressed my cheek. Laying her head upon my shoulder, her breath danced on my neck. Her arms held me tight, reaffirming what her heartbeat told me - that she would always be there, she would never abandon me. I quivered with her touch. I needed her - I've always needed her - now more than ever!
A minute, maybe two, I don't know how long we sat like this when I felt her lips atop of my head. "Just James," she whispered, "I have to give the eulogy." I squeezed her, begging her to stay at my side. Shannie leaving would be a constant in both our lives.