"As much as you walk around with a hard-on I'm surprised that you don't know."
"Like when have you seen me walk around with a hard-on?"
"Last week when Diane and I took you camping."
"I wasn't walking around with one," I blushed.
"Oh James - loosen up. Only you would be embarrassed by something so natural."
"Well pervert what if I looked at you while you slept."
"I wouldn't mind," Shannie said.
"I mean really looked at you."
"What's the big deal?
"I don't know," I mumbled. We're so different, I thought as my swing ground to a halt.
From above me, her swing reached new heights. "Damn it, I wish Diane wasn't home. I'd show you there is nothing to be ashamed about."
The rest of that night I was on edge. My mother even noticed. "What's wrong," She asked.
"Nothing," I lied. "I don't feel good."
Later, lying awake in bed after another Diane inspired dysfunction, Shannie's words echoed. With horror and excitement I wondered what would happen the next time Shannie and I were alone.
She made a game of teasing me. She understood how uneasy it made me.
The next day I asked my mother, "Why did you tell me you got pregnant from a pill? A pill doesn't make you pregnant, it prevents it." Her face turned red. Fury burned in her eyes. The glass she was drying was suddenly airborne. "ARE YOU CALLING ME A LIAR? You unappreciative little bastard, I gave up my life for you and you show your thanks by calling me a liar?"
I ducked. The glass whizzed by and smashed against the wall. "Jesus! You're whacked!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" she screamed. She moved closer, threatening me with the dishtowel pulled taught in her hands. "You call me a liar and have the audacity to use the lord's name in vain?" Veins bulged in her forehead. "And you call me Crazy?"
I ran out the door. "GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" She yelled after me. I sprinted down Cemetery Street, past the old Piano factory and the Junior High. My lungs burned as I raced down the tree lined street. Just past the Lucas funeral parlor, I braved a glance behind. I was relieved she wasn't following. At the bottom of Cemetery Street I cut across a backyard, crossed the railroad tracks and the vacant lots. On the bank of the Schuylkill River, I found a secluded spot and sat against an uprooted tree. Panting as I caught my breath, I pulled my knees to my chest and cried.