He must, then--and there was yet time--resign his fortune, and accept
Sophie and a clear conscience, poverty and a country parish. But persons
who have wealth absolutely in their power, to take or to leave, sec
clearly how much poetical extravagance, hypocrisy, and cant exist in the
arguments of those who advocate the beauties and advantages of being
poor. Deliberately and voluntarily to forego the opportunities, the
influence, the ease, the refinement, which money alone can command--let
not the sacrifice be underrated! Few, perhaps, have had the choice
fairly offered them: of those, how many have chosen poverty? In
Bressant's case, the fact that the money was not legally his, was,
abstractly, enough to settle the matter; but in real life, where every
one is expected to do battle for his claims, it would only be an
argument for holding on the harder. If he could but manage to be happily
married and wealthy both! He would not confess it impossible; at all
events, he would delay the confession till the very latest hour, and
then trust to the impulse of the moment for his final decision and
action. He had given up, it seemed, that promising idea of trusting to
the generosity of the rightful owner; yet, considering their mutual
relation, and one or two minor circumstances, he might certainly do so
without misgiving, embarrassment, or dishonor.
"It's that infernal letter!" muttered the young man between his teeth,
staring gloomily out at the cheerless snow-storm. "I wish it had never
been written. No! that I could feel sure there was no truth in it."
Turning from the window, he stepped over to the table, and dropped
himself into his chair. He took from his pocket a well-worn envelope,
hardly capable of holding on to the inclosed letter, which peeped forth
at the corners, and through various rents in the front and back. He did
not open it, for he had long known by heart every word and italic in it;
but, placing it in front of him, he leaned upon his elbows, with his
forehead resting between his hands, and gazed fixedly down upon it. It
is an assistance to the vividness of thought to have some object in
sight connected with the matter under consideration.
"Ought I to have answered it?" ran his soliloquy: for though he had
frequently taken counsel with himself concerning this letter before, he
recurred again and again to the subject, pleasing himself with the hope
that still, in some way, a fortunate ray of light might be struck out;
"but, if I had, what should I have gained by it? It's as well not to
have risked putting any thing on paper; and if she really has the proofs
she talks about, I shall hear from her again, and soon, for she knows
which is my wedding-day; and it must all be decided, one way or another,
before then. But she couldn't have made the assertion if she hadn't
known some good grounds for it; and yet I can't understand it--I
cannot." He pressed his temples strongly between his hands, and chewed
his brown mustache. "As to my having 'no legal claim to a cent,' I knew
that before. What puzzles me is, 'There is no consideration--not a
shadow of relationship, or affection, or generosity--nothing to give
you the least prospect of receiving any thing.' How can that be? And
yet what she says at the end--it sounds more like a threat she knows she
can fulfil than an attempt to humbug." Bressant took his right hand from
his forehead, and tapped with his finger on the envelope as he repeated
the words: "If this is enough--convinces you without your requiring
proof--it would be much pleasanter for you, and a great relief to me.
Oh! beyond words! But if not--if you will go on entangling yourself
with this foolish girl, Sophie, and this boarding-house keeper, and
all--I shall be obliged--I shall hate to do it, but there will be no
alternative--to give you the explanation of what I tell you now."