“Why didn’t you tell me?”
I try to shift, but he doesn’t allow me to move from his lap.
“I’ve been trying to.”
“You’re so confusing. You haven’t been trying to do anything but get back in my pants.”
His eyes go hard and he moves so that I can’t do anything but look right at him. His eyes burning, but this time without giving me any kind of warm feelings.
“Make no doubt that I would love to be back in those pants, Megan. I guarantee you that the next time I’m right back in those fucking pants it’s going to be because you want me there. But don’t ever accuse me of using your daughter to get there. The only thing confused here is you. You’re too busy trying to keep yourself from seeing what’s right in front of you. You’ve got yourself so twisted in knots to keep everyone out, that you can’t see a damn thing.”
He stops talking and moves to stand, leaving me with no choice but to follow him up. He straightens, helps me finish my climb from the floor, and drops his hand instantly.
“If I didn’t know with all that I fucking am that you’re worth the trouble, I would leave and never look back.”
I step back a foot at his words.
“So fucking stubborn, Megan. So stubborn. What happened out there,” he says, pointing in the direction that Molly and Nate can be heard laughing. “What happened is you finally seeing past the goddamn guilt and fear that has been eating you for years. The fear I can understand, baby, I get it. But the guilt, I don’t see it. I’ve tried to wrap my head around it for months now, and I still can’t get it. You aren’t living and until you get your head out of your ass you’re going to continue living this lonely life. What happened out there was you seeing that, even with you trying to keep her from experiencing anything that may one day cause her a second of pain, she’s breaking free of those tangled webs and living. Take a page from her book Megan and maybe we can finally be on the same chapter. I was wrong before, we aren’t just on different ones, you’re still ten books behind me.”
He turns, looks to where my mirror used to be and even without knowing, I’m sure he’s smart enough to put the pieces together. Especially since bits of the shattered mirror are still stuck to the wall.
“Open your eyes, Megan. It’s time to grab the rope,” he so strangely says before turning and walking through the door.
As I watch his wide shoulders walk through my bedroom I let his words sink in. He’s right. I know it. He knows it. The only problem is, I’m not sure I know how to clear a path to the road he wants me to travel on.
He’s right. I feel guilt. Probably not for the reasons he suspects, but it’s guilt nonetheless. I had a man who gave up everything for me. Hopes, dreams, a career, and eventually his life. A man who gave up everything so that I could escape a nightmare I was living. A best friend who turned into a husband of safety and then eventually one of friendly love. I was content with that, and I know Jack was too.
The part I struggle with the most is the feelings Liam brings into my cold, painful life. They are so much more powerful than what I ever felt for the husband that saved me. The battle I feel within is that Liam, with all his annoying determination, is showing me a promise of something that I know deep down, if I were to lose it, would take me to my knees with a pain I know I could never shake free of.
That . . . that is a terrifying feeling.
But one that I know I need to be brave enough to take that step toward and that hand he’s been offering me.
I GIVE MOLLY A HUG and ignore the pain her begging me to stay causes. That little girl could shake me to my core with just one little pout.
“Stay until she comes out?” I ask Nate.
“Yup. I’ve got a date with the prettiest girl in the world.” He looks down at Molly and she smiles huge. Her brown eyes crinkle at the corner and her crooked grin shining bright. “Isn’t that right, Molly-Wolly?”
She giggles and I hate that it isn’t me she’s giving that look to. Fuck me, I’m in deep here.
“Next date’s mine, little lady,” I tell her and she nods her head, her curls bouncing around her face.
I turn and right when I make it to the door I hear her yell my name, her little voice ringing out and echoing against the walls. I turn just in time to catch her small body before it comes crashing into my legs, reaching down I pull her up and her small arms wrap around my neck.
“I’ll miss you, Leelee,” she whispers.
I hold her tight and when I look up, I see Megan standing in the hallway with her hand pressed against her chest and her eyes wide.