“I’m not going to withhold your coffee,” I said, hiding a smile. “And if Chuck joins you I’ll get another cup. Frankie hasn’t been charging me anyway.”

Richard’s eyes brightened. “I’ll tell Chuck, then.”

“Okay.”

Richard sighed. “Wanted you to know I’ve been asking around about your brother but I haven’t heard anything yet. Don’t you worry, if he’s around, I’ll find him and let you know how he’s doing.”

“That isn’t necessary.”

“I know.”

Caden was bad news and I couldn’t allow myself to get caught up in his troubles again.

Richard grinned, something he didn’t do often, and I could see he was missing several teeth. Then, because I was excited, I mentioned my date. “I’m bringing a friend along with me Friday.”

“You handing out sandwiches again?”

“Yup.”

“Hate to tell you this, Shay, but that’s not much of a date. What’s a matter with this guy, can’t he afford to take you to dinner? A fine girl like you deserves a man who will treat you right.”

“He’s one of my best friends.”

“You like him?”

“I do.” More than I probably should, but I didn’t say that.

“You gonna be at the regular stops?” Richard asked.

“Think so.”

Richard nodded. “I’ll come by and check him out for you if you’d like.”

“Sure,” I said. I didn’t tell Richard, but I had the feeling Drew wanted to check him out, too.

“If he’s sober, I’ll bring Chuck with me.”

“That would be great. I’ll see what I can do to get him a pair of his own gloves.”

Richard gave me another spotted-tooth grin.

“Hope this date of yours knows you’re a good person.”

I had to wonder that myself. “I believe he does.”

“If he doesn’t, you be sure to let me know.”

“I’ll do that,” I promised, smiling at the thought of Pastor Drew Douglas being checked out by my homeless friend.

I got the call on Wednesday from Joan Sullivan, the wife of an old friend. Joe was dying. It looked like he had only a few weeks left to live.

“Come now,” Joan urged. “He wants to see you.”

Glancing down at the weekly calendar Mary Lou put together for me, the only day I could manage would be Friday.

My heart sank.

I had hoped to go out with Shay in a Search & Rescue van that night. No way could I drive to Spokane and be back in time to be with her. Not if I planned to make the five-hour trip in a single day, and really that was what I would need to do. Ten hours on the road and I couldn’t guarantee I’d be back before seven to pick her up.

“I’ll come Friday,” I assured Joan.

We chatted a few minutes longer before ending the call. I hadn’t seen Joe in eighteen months or longer. At seventy, he’d been a good friend to my father and a mentor of sorts to me. Joe had been a constant encourager in the bleak days when Katie had been so desperately ill. I knew he had cancer and we’d kept in touch via email. Not wanting to burden him, I let him assume all was well in the darkest days following her death. Thankfully, I’d been in a much better frame of mind lately.

I had Shay to thank for that, too. I had a lot to thank her for.

Sitting back in my chair, I exhaled, saddened to hear this news about my friend and mentor. I’d hoped he would rebound, but clearly that wasn’t to be the case. Thinking it would be best to break the news to Shay personally rather than over the phone, I decided to stop by The Corner Café for lunch.

“I’m taking a lunch break,” I told Mary Lou as I headed out of the office.

“The Brownes are coming in at one for marriage counseling,” my assistant reminded me.

“I’ll be back in plenty of time,” I promised, and glanced at my watch to make sure that was true. Timing should work out fine. I decided to walk the six blocks, feeling the exercise would do me good. The thought of losing Joe filled me with sadness, and at the same time I dealt with the disappointment of needing to break my date with Shay.

It might be for the best, though. It’d been years since I’d last dated and I felt rusty. Even now I wasn’t sure it was a good idea for me to get involved with Shay. My fears were wrapped up in what others would say or think about her. Certainly, she wasn’t like any woman my church family would expect me to date. Still, this was my life and I should be comfortable dating anyone I wanted.

The thing was, I liked Shay and the way I felt when I was around her. She was good for Mark and Sarah, too. Sarah, especially. With Mark it was harder to tell. He kept his feelings bottled up most of the time, which was another concern. I could laugh with Shay and I was comfortable around her.

I knew people would talk. There would be questions about how appropriate she was for me and my children. Worries bounced around inside my head like a ping-pong ball gone wild. Yet, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Given the chance, I would like to know her better.

The long drive to and from Spokane would give me the time I needed to mull over these doubts about what I was doing. My life and ministry had become complicated in ways I hadn’t anticipated since I’d lost Katie. How I wished I could talk to her about our children and how to be the best parent possible. A good majority of the time I felt inadequate, lost as to what was best for them.

When I arrived, The Corner Café was busy, and once again the only option available to me was a stool at the counter. Thankfully, Shay was stationed there and bustled about taking care of her customers with an ease and friendliness that drew me in immediately.

When she noticed me, she paused and a big smile came over her as if she’d been waiting all day for me to arrive. I told myself that her smile was for every customer and not just me. I wasn’t successful because I wanted to believe that I was the one she’d been looking for. Me.

Right away Shay reached for a coffee mug and brought it over along with a fresh pot of the brew.

“Special today is shepherd’s pie,” she said.

“Sounds good,” I said, not bothering to look at the menu. Bottom line, I wasn’t all that hungry or interested in lunch. The reason I was there was to talk to Shay.

She put in my order and it was up within a few minutes. When she set it before me, I asked, “Do you have five minutes to chat?”

Shay glanced at the counter with every stool filled and reluctantly shook her head. I read the regret in her eyes.

“Sorry, not really.”

I should have known better than to come at the busiest time of the day. I’d hoped she could take her break so I could explain in more than a few words.

“If you like, I could stop by your office after work.”

I mentally reviewed my afternoon schedule and realized I had meetings the rest of the day. “That won’t work, either. It’s about Friday…”

We were interrupted when another server told Shay she had an order up. She reluctantly left me to deliver the plate to the guy at the other end of the counter. Needing an excuse to return, she came back and refreshed my coffee. “What about Friday?” she asked.

“I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it.”

Her eyes immediately flew up to meet mine. She seemed to forget what she was doing and overfilled my coffee mug, spilling the dark liquid all across the counter. Right away she set the coffeepot aside and reached for a rag to clean up the mess.

“I’m sorry, Shay.” She had no idea how sorry.

She shrugged as if it was nothing. “No, it’s fine. Not a problem. Really.”

“I have a sick friend.” That sounded incredibly lame and I immediately regretted explaining it that way. It sounded as if I’d told the teacher the dog ate my homework. Rushing to explain, I said, “Joe lives in Spokane and I need to make a one-day trip out of it and—”

Shay set her hand on my forearm. “It’s fine, Drew. It’s not a big deal; we’ll make it another time.”

The shepherd’s pie might have been an award-winning recipe, but it tasted like burned rubber to me. Although Shay made a gallant effort to hide it, I could see she was disappointed. Her reaction gave me pause. My fear was that she’d put more stock into my asking her out than warranted. I felt like rubbing my hand down my face. I didn’t know what I was doing. I liked Shay and being with her made me feel lighthearted and happy.




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