Wrong

Wait. Which socks am I wearing today? I pause, shoe in hand. The ones with the pink stripes around the top. I flip my foot. Classy. That's what's written on the bottom of my left foot. And on the bottom of my right foot? Bitch. I'm wearing my classy bitch socks. That I just flashed at Luke while my legs were spread. Can this appointment get any worse?

I open the exam room door and walk to the checkout desk. It's a counter really. Just inside the exit. Luke is standing there, writing on a chart as I approach. He sets down the pen and checks his watch. It's big and expensive-looking and looks perfect on his wrist. What is it about a watch on a man? It's so hot. Most guys my age just whip cell phones out of their pocket to check the time. Maybe they'd wear watches if they really understood the appeal to women.

Luke sees me approaching now and slides a paper bag off the counter. "Here's a three-month supply of birth control. The clinic will refill your prescription for free as long as you're a student. Do not let it lapse because you can't make it to the clinic to pick up a refill. You can refill with one month remaining, so that gives you a month before you run out. Understand?"

His tone is firm and I'm somewhat offended. I'm not stupid. "Yes, I understand, Dr. Miller."

He continues on about the dangers of antibiotics decreasing the effectiveness and using backup birth control while on antibiotics and for a week afterward. Really, it's stuff I learned either in sixth-grade health or from watching Lifetime movies, but I listen.

"You can start the pill today. You'll need to use backup birth control for a week. You should still use condoms unless your partner has been tested. There's a supply in the bag and you can always get more from the clinic. Any questions?"

"I thought you were a lawyer."

He just stares at me for a second. I think we're both surprised I just said that.

"And I thought you were… not a student." His gaze lingers on mine for a second. I could never get tired of looking at those eyes, not that I'll have the opportunity to see them again.

"Take care, Sophie. Good luck." He pats my arm and walks away.

Did he just wish me good luck with getting laid? I stuff the paper bag into my backpack and exit the clinic. I look back over the entrance. Rutherford Miller Memorial Health Center is engraved into the stone above the door, underneath big black metal letters affixed to the building spelling out Student Clinic.

Chapter 4

I pass the campus shuttle stop outside the clinic in favor of walking. It's warmed up a little now that the sun is out and I don't feel like being cooped up on a bus right now.

There are walking paths all over campus. I can make it from the clinic back to my dorm on foot. Or maybe I'll just head to my next class early. I don't feel like facing my roommate right now either.

My cheeks burn as I recall the last half hour. Is there something wrong with me? Do I have some kind of doctor fetish? To be fair, I was attracted to Luke before I knew he was a doctor, let alone my doctor. But seeing him in that lab coat should have squashed it. It didn't, it made it worse.

The position of authority was a huge turn-on. Would it have been if I hadn't already been fantasizing about him for weeks? I don't think so.

How can I be this attracted to a man I barely know? It was insta-lust for me the first day I saw him. I'm not this attracted to Mike and he's my boyfriend. I'm a bad person. Who feels that way about their own boyfriend? Or am I attracted to Luke because he's unattainable?

Did I date a guy platonically for two years because it was safe? I'm not a risk-taker. I'm good. I never wanted to be my mother. I never wanted to derail my life with an unplanned pregnancy and burden my grandparents with another infant they didn’t plan for.

I know my grandfather worked longer than he would have if they hadn't had to raise me. And they've put off retiring to Florida for too long, wanting to be nearby while I went to college. I finally convinced them to list the house once I entered my senior year at the university a few weeks ago.

I haven't lived at home for more than a few weeks during the summer since high school, but they never wanted me to feel like I had no place to go back to. I had to promise them that if I didn't find a job after college that afforded a decent apartment, I'd come to Florida and stay with them. And they refuse to look at anything in Florida that doesn't have room for me, even if I only stay there a few nights a year.

I make it to the Hymer building early for my next class. I'm debating whether I want to wait inside or out when Everly exits the building. We don't usually cross paths at Hymer on Tuesdays, but I am early.

"Hey, bitch, did you get laid at the doctor's office? You look different."

I roll my eyes at Everly.

"What?”

"Lukesagynecologist."

"What?" Everly tilts her head like I'm talking crazy.

"Luke is a gynecologist. At the student health clinic."

"Shut the fuck up." I think I've managed to shock Everly. "I did not see this coming." She looks at me. "So?"

"So?" I ask.

"So you rescheduled the appointment with another doctor?"

"No. I kept the appointment."

"You kinky bitch, you did not! Stop it."

"I did. I was already sitting on the exam table wearing a paper gown when he walked in. What was I supposed to do?"

"Was it good for you?" She grins at me suggestively.

"Everly!"

"Bitch, I know you enjoyed it. At least a little."

"You think there's something wrong with me, don't you?"

"Sophie, no. That guy has no business being a gynecologist. It's not fair to women."

"I think he's technically an obstetrician."

"Same difference."

"The nurse said he runs a department at the hospital.”

"Well done, Sophie. When you crush, you crush classy."

"Ugh." I cringe. "That reminds me. Do you keep your socks on during a gynecologist exam?"

"Off. So, did you get your prescription?"

"Yeah." I nod. "And a bag full of condoms." I pat my backpack.

"Aww. Dr. Luke cares about your safety."

"You understand I am never waiting on him again, right?"

"Oh, yeah. I figured that out about thirty seconds into this conversation."