Worth Forgiving
Page 8“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything you want.”
“Really?”
“Sure. I didn’t say I was going to answer, but you can definitely ask me anything you want,” he chuckles.
I ball up my napkin and throw it across the table, hitting him in the nose.
“Very mature.” Jax smiles, lifting his tall glass of water, he dips his fingers into it, and flicks them at me. Water drops hit my cheeks, nose, and forehead.
Eyes wide, surprised by his action, I squint, staring at him for a few seconds. He holds my gaze, his face showing he’s feeling sure of himself. Never breaking eye contact, I reach across the table and fork his ravioli onto my utensil, quickly shoving the whole thing into my mouth.
Shaking his head, he reaches over to my plate and steals one of my two meatballs, shoving the entire large globe into his mouth.
When he finishes chewing, he reaches over to my plate, cutting the other meatball in half and bringing it to his lips. “So what question did you want to ask me?” He grins, before taking the half meatball into his mouth.
Following his lead, I reach over to Jax’s plate, cut his meatball in half and bring it almost all the way to my lips before speaking. “Why do you need such a huge hotel suite, if you’re just one person?” I eat the half meatball, waiting for his answer. God, it’s delicious too.
Jax reaches over to my side of the table, his fingers wrapping around my water glass, he brings it to his mouth and downs almost half the glass, returning it to my side of the table. He shrugs, “I have absolutely no idea.”
His honest answer takes me by surprise. “Seems like a waste,” I declare.
He smiles and then concedes, “It is a bit excessive, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Mr. Knight. It is.” I chide playfully.
Jax tells me a little bit more about his father, but most of it I knew from my snooping of the newspaper article in his suite. Plates bare, we finish dinner eating each other’s meal without ever discussing our actions verbally, but the smiles exchanged speak volumes.
After dinner, we clean up together, storing all the leftovers in the refrigerator. “Thank you for dinner.”
“Thank you for sharing yours with me,” Jax smirks, leaning casually against the counter, arms folded across his chest. We’re both quiet for a moment. There’s a shift in the air, a tension I breathe in that spreads warmth throughout my body. I feel his eyes on me, watching me intently.
“I should go.”
Lips parted, I take a deep breath in as he pulls me closer to him. His face six inches from mine, he stops. Looking into his pale blue eyes, I get lost for a minute. The hand not around my neck, reaches up and his thumb rubs the side of my mouth.
“Sauce,” he whispers through his grin.
“Ummm…thanks.” He releases his grip around my neck, but his hand lazily slides down my spine where the other arm joins, locking around my waist, keeping me close. I know I should step away, but electricity tingles all over my skin. And the way he looks at me, so intense and focused, my eyes lock on to his and everything else blurs in the background.
“You really are beautiful,” Jax studies my face as he speaks. His voice is low and raspy, there’s a rawness that does something to me. The combination of the seductive sound and the close proximity turns my breath ragged.
My heart pounding in my chest, I stare up at him, forgetting everything else for a moment in time. His grip around my waist tightens. Slowly he pulls me to him, closing the small distance between us, until our bodies are finally flush. His eyes never leave mine, forcing my head to tilt up to keep our gaze as our bodies draw closer. Feeling the warmth of his hard chest pressed against my soft, my eyes drift closed. It feels so good, so right, so natural.
Taking a deep breath, I open my eyes. Jax’s gaze, roaming my face, meets mine again. And holds. Our lips are so close, if either of us were to move the slightest bit, we’d connect. Wetting his lips, Jax’s eyes drop to my mouth and my heart rate careens out of control with nerves and excitement all rolled into a big ball of anticipation. Slowly, they lift back to find mine, only now they’re hooded, changing from sweet and adoring to desire and need. Full of want and raw passion. The look sends my libido into overdrive.
“Your body feels so right connected to mine,” Jax whispers, his words coming out labored, like it’s difficult for him to speak too.
Swallowing hard, I avert my eyes, knowing he’s watching me, waiting for me to give him something. Anything. But even though I feel his words ringing true, his body feels so right connected to mine, something inside of me won’t let me give in to what I’m feeling. What I know we both feel. “I should go,” I say again avoiding his eyes.
We’re both quiet for a minute, my mind racing as fast as my heart. “Lily?” One hand locking me in place lifts to my chin, gently forcing my gaze to meet his. I watch as he studies my face, slowly taking in each and every inch. Finally, as our eyes meet again, he whispers hoarsely, “Don’t leave yet.”
Unable to say no to his eyes, knowing they could easily change my mind, I look away, speaking with a low voice, “I have to. I, I…need to go.” Taking two steps back from his hold, Jax releases me without struggle.
As much as I want to stay, I haven’t even fixed the mess I’ve gotten myself into with Caden yet. I know it’s a bad idea to get involved with anyone connected to my business again. Especially someone so important to Joe right now.
Scurrying to collect my bag, I make my way to the door and smile back halfheartedly as I reach for the handle. “Good night, Jax.”
Still leaning against the counter, I see a look of confusion as I hurry out the door, practically sprinting down the steps.
Chapter 9
Lily
My phone rings for the fifth time as I walk into my apartment, only this time I don’t hit REJECT. Feeling guilty, even though I haven’t done anything wrong, I answer. “Hello.”
“Finally.” Caden’s voice is laced with impatience and anger. “I’ve been trying to reach you for an hour.”
“For an hour?”
“I dried my hair afterwards.” My words met with silence, I decide to attempt to change the direction I know the conversation is about to go. “How is your trip?”
“Do you even really care, Lily?” he replies curtly.
“Please, Caden. I do care. You’ve been very good to me. I know that. It’s just, I need some space. I told you that. If it’s going to work out with us being friends and working together, we need more space between us.”
“You didn’t need space when I was there for you every night while you were crying after you lost your Dad.” Guilt pours over me. Not just for spending time with Jax, but for leaning on Caden so hard and then pulling away as soon as I was strong enough to stand on my own.
“I’m sorry, Caden.”
“There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
Taking a deep breath, I force myself to remember how good he was to me when I needed him most. Holding me while I cried. Wiping my tears. Stepping in for me at the gym when I couldn’t function. He gave me what I needed and it’s wrong of me to completely push him out. “There isn’t anyone else.” It’s not a lie, nothing happened between me and Jax, yet it feels like a lie to tell him there’s no one else.
We talk for another ten minutes. I do my best to keep the conversation light, focusing on small talk…the weather, plans for the next day. Eventually he lets me hang up, promising to call first thing in the morning. The concept of giving me space either not registering with him or he chooses to ignore it.
Falling into my bed, my brain mentally exhausted, I fall asleep thinking about only one man…Jackson Knight.
***
Even though I ran out the door last night, literally running from Jax’s arms, I’m up extra early, anxious to get back to the gym just to see him again. I stop by the grocery store and pick up a few things, knowing his fridge is filled with only dinner leftovers and wine with no corkscrew.
Reporters are still camped out in front of the gym when I arrive an hour before opening time. Ignoring their questions, I slip inside quickly, lock the door and pull the shade down once again. I flip on a few lights and make my way to the door in the back that leads up to the apartment.
At the top of the dark stairs, I knock on the door gently, it dawning on me for the first time that I have no idea if he even gets up this early. Feeling disappointed when Jax doesn’t answer, I turn around, beginning to make my way back down the stairs, when I hear the lock open.
“Lily?” Jax’s voice is throaty, full of morning grog.
I turn, a few steps from the top of the stairs, bags raised in hands to explain along with my words. “I figured you’d need some food in there. The reporters are still outside.”
Jax makes his way down to me, taking the bags from my hands, “Thank you, but you didn’t have to do that.”
“I’m not.” He grins. “Will you come in?”
I hesitate, feeling conflicted. Jax assesses me before speaking, “Come in, Lily. I promise to keep three feet back at all times,” he says only half teasing.
Feeling ridiculous for not going inside when I feel perfectly safe around him, I concede. Jax carries the bags into the dark apartment, flicking on a light as he passes. Catching a glimpse of what he’s wearing, or not wearing, I feel my face flush, yet I don’t turn away.
He’s shirtless. I take in what I’d imagined he’d looked like, only the real thing is even better. He’s thick, well defined…muscles sculpted over flawless smooth skin. Although that isn’t what leaves me speechless, it’s the bottom half that has my mouth hanging. He’s wearing only skin hugging, solid black boxer briefs. Ones that leave little to the imagination, although my imagination immediately starts running wild.
Jax turns back after setting the grocery bags on the counter and catches me staring. Looking down as if just realizing himself what he’s wearing, he smirks and says, “Sorry. I was sleeping. I’ll go throw on some pants.” Though his grin tells me he’s not really sorry at all.
A minute later, Jax emerges from the small bedroom in the back, wearing the grey sweatpants I packed yesterday, still no shirt. Taking the entirety of him in, the way the sweats hang low on his hips, the deep sculpted v that leads down to a place I already know is well stocked, I think to myself that the underwear might have been easier to handle.
Feeling flustered, I busy myself with unpacking the groceries as soon as I force my eyes off of the feast they’ve encountered. It’s not an easy task.
“The reporters are still outside?” Jax asks, sounding somewhat deflated.
“Yes.” I unpack a bag. “I’m sorry I woke you. I didn’t even think maybe you weren’t a morning person.”
“I actually am a morning person.” Jax joins me in unpacking the bags. “I’m usually out for a run by six and in the office by seven.” Catching my eyes, he smiles and continues, “Just had some trouble falling asleep last night.”
“Probably the strange place.”
Jax shakes his head, slowly. “That’s not what it was.” There’s no need for him to spell it out, we both know what kept the sandman away last night. For both of us.
“Dark chocolate syrup?” he questions with one eyebrow arched.
“You don’t like dark chocolate?”
“I love it. You?”
“It’s my weakness.”
We unpack the rest of the groceries - eggs, cheese, bread, milk, peanuts, turkey, protein shake mix. Jax reaches into the bag for the last item and smiles as he lifts out the corkscrew.