Worth Forgiving
Page 25***
The man who less than half an hour ago planted my hands firmly against the shower wall as he commanded my body and took me from behind, now pours my coffee and pulls out a chair for me as I walk into the kitchen. He’s such a contradiction in so many ways.
“I have class today. But how about I make you dinner later?”
“We can stay at the hotel tonight. Have dinner there. You don’t have to cook.”
I smile. “I want to.” I love doing everyday things with him. It just feels so right, so normal, so comforting. He feels like coming home to me.
He studies me for a moment. “Okay. I have to do some work and then I have Marco from four to six. I’ll come by after that.”
“I hope you shower first?” I tease.
“After this morning, I think all my showers are going to be here.” He grins a cocky boyish smile. I have a feeling we’re both going to be very clean.
Chapter 24
Lily
Jax has a business meeting across town this morning, so we say goodbye outside my building and I walk to Ralley’s alone. It’s a route I’ve walked since I was ten years old by myself. It’s a good neighborhood. I’ve always felt safe. Yet again today, I can’t shake the feeling of someone watching me. It’s broad daylight, but my own paranoia has me practically power walking the short distance to the gym.
The busy morning of paperwork helps me to relax and I’m lost in my own thoughts when the bells on the front door jolt me even though I’m staring right at it. A man enters wearing a suit, he looks out of place. Handsome, I’d guess mid-fifties, but wears it well. Distinguished, one look and I know he’s wealthy.
“Can I help you?” I ask, at first sure that he’s made a wrong turn. But then he smiles and I watch as his eyes roam my body. It’s not the subtle and elusive glance of a gentleman, even though he looks like one from the outside. No. It’s the pointed ego blaring leer of a man who has little respect for a woman. The kind of vulgar ogle that makes me want to put on a sweater. Perhaps he’s in the right place after all.
“I bet you can,” he responds confidently. I’m met by stunning blue eyes that no doubt have captured the attention of droves of women over the years.
I smile politely. “Are you looking for Joe Ralley?” He’s probably here for a business meeting. I size him up quickly. Someone who makes more money in an hour than I net in a month, giving him the false sense of self-worth that often comes from having too much money. It’s a shame too, he really is handsome.
“Actually I’m looking for Caden Ralley,” he says with a practiced smile that reminds me of a Cheshire cat. I shouldn’t be surprised when he asks for Caden, this guy seems right up Caden’s alley, yet I don’t expect the name to drop from his mouth.
“He doesn’t work…” I begin to respond, but I’m interrupted by the bells on the door as it’s whipped open. Caden. My hand automatically feels for the taser we keep under the counter. “Caden, you aren’t supposed to be here,” I warn.
The visitor turns and looks at Caden, then back to me. I’ve backed up toward the gym, ready to scream if Caden takes one step toward me. Wisely, the visitor assesses my face and swiftly says, “Mr. Ralley, perhaps we should take our business elsewhere. Why don’t we go have some lunch?”
Chapter 25
Jax
A serene feeling cloaks me as I make my way through the chaotic city. Overflowing traffic bustles through the streets, taxi’s honk and weave in and out, a barrage of people shuffle all around me, eager to get to their destination. Taking it all in as I walk leisurely to my hotel after my meeting, it dawns on me I was one of them not too long ago. Running in place, conducting my life on the go, yet never really knowing where I was heading. But something’s changed.
The doors open to my suite and I stop to look around. Really look around. It’s ornate and grand, and completely unnecessary. I smile thinking of Lily’s comment the first time she saw it, “Why does one person need three bathrooms?” I’ll be damned if I know. Just like so many other things in my life, I didn’t stop to consider what I was doing. Rather, I acted as I was taught. As I was expected to act. Even the ostentatious hotel room, I could afford the best, so why would I expect anything less? Totally my father, a man I loathe to find any comparisons to, yet each time I act without thinking I find my actions resemble his.
I call guest services and tell them I’ll be checking out of the suite today and checking into a regular room. It takes me five minutes to convince them nothing is wrong, it’s just unnecessary to occupy it anymore.
I make a few business calls and catch up with Brady again on the state of Knight Investments. The office has been busy the last day, a barrage of new clients. My mother’s birthday party likely a factor. The news ran a picture of her and I dancing that I didn’t even know was snapped. Forgiveness was the title of the story. A shot captured from a private moment in time, a trait of humanity that my father undoubtedly has plans to exploit.
Packing up the few things I’ve brought before heading to the gym, I look around one last time as I wait for the elevator. How can I have thought this life was normal…what I was cut out to be?
***
My newfound peace quickly dissipates, replaced by fury and tension the minute I walk through the door at Ralley’s Gym.
“What are you doing here?” I scowl, demanding through clenched teeth.
“Is that any way to greet your father?” Dressed in a three piece custom tailored suit, his perfectly poised consummate politician smile slithers over me like a snake coiling as it waits patiently to find the best place to sink its venomous teeth.
“What. Do. You. Want.” I grumble. Anger radiates from my every word. I’m not yelling, but heads turn to watch. These men can smell a fight brewing.
A minute later, Lily walks from the back office to the reception desk where we’re standing. At first, oblivious to the standoff, she approaches smiling. “Hey. How was your meeting?” She sees my face, notices the visitor, and turns to my father, her face faltering. “You’re back?”
“Yes. I just can’t seem to keep away,” he responds sarcastically.
“My father’s been here before?” I ask Lily.
“Your father?” Lily’s eyes go wide. She looks to him and then to me, perhaps searching for the resemblance. It’s not hard to find. “He was here earlier today.” She looks confused.
“What are you doing here?” I repeat through gritted teeth.
“What I do is none of your business. I thought we cleared that up already.”
My father clears his throat and straightens his spine, standing taller. “I need to speak to you in private. You haven’t returned my calls.”
“Then you’ve wasted a trip. We have nothing to talk about…on the phone or in person.”
“Your business is dwindling. Clients need to be put at ease that you’re at the helm. Apparently, I’m not the only call you aren’t returning.”
“My business is just fine. And none of your business.”
“People talk. Let’s not forget that many of your biggest clients are my associates. Fellow Senators, Congressmen, wealthy supporters.”
“Yes. And those were the first ones to pull their business when the news broke you didn’t practice the good Christian values you preach.”
“Nonsense. You still have many clients from my blood, sweat and tears. Some of who are concerned you aren’t steering the ship back to calm waters. Every business goes through rocky times, you need to hang on tight and work through them, Jackson.”
“Is that why you came? To give me business help. I think you’ve done enough.”
My father smiles. He turns his head to Lily and then back to me as if to make a point. “We’re a lot more alike than you may care to admit, son.”
“We’re nothing alike,” I snarl vehemently.
“I know what you’re doing. I will not stand by idly as you destroy your life. While you destroy the family name by spending your days in a place like this.”
“Get out! And don’t come back.” Rage pours from my body, trembling to find an outlet for my anger.
My father leisurely buttons his jacket and smooths it down, “That’s okay, my business is done here.” He looks around the room with disdain. “I’ve raised you better than this. You’ll come around to your senses soon enough. You’ll bore of being surrounded by ignorance and vulgarity.”
The door opens to frantic clicks of the cameras from the few photographers that are still hanging around. Senator Knight puts on the smile of a trained actor and walks out.
After a moment, I turn to Lily. “I’m sorry about that.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“Jax.” Lily’s face looks nervous and stressed. “He was here with Caden earlier.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He came in and asked for Caden. I was about to tell him Caden didn’t work here, when the door opened and Caden walked in. They left together right after.”
“Did Caden touch you?”
“No. They were only here for a minute. What do you think the two of them have to talk about? It makes no sense.”
“I have no idea.”
***
“Sparring is about practicing, firming up your technique, not actually knocking your partner out,” Marco says as he lifts himself from the floor for the third time this session.
“Sorry. Guess my adrenaline is still flowing.” Raging might be a better word, flowing would imply smooth sailing, but the torrent that courses through my veins is more like a lethal tsunami threating to surge.
He raises the oversized sparring pads one more time. I hit him with a quick left jab and then the power of my right. He takes two steps back. “Caden’s f**ked in the ring with you,” he smiles at the thought. We’ve never spoken about it, but I get the feeling most of the guys in the gym aren’t Caden fans. He’s arrogant and overconfident, traits other fighters detest, unless it’s found in their opponent in the ring.
We train for longer than scheduled, but nowhere near what it takes to release the years of pent up anger that my father’s visit bubbled to the surface. Marco throws a towel at me and shakes his head, smiling. “I’m going to need a good soak tonight. Haven’t had that good a workout in a while.”
Sweat drips from every pore of my body. I wipe my face and grab a water, chugging half in one long gulp and pouring the rest over my head. “You coming to watch?”
Marco grins. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. You come in one tenth as ready as you were today, Caden won’t make thirty seconds.” He grabs his gym bag and climbs out of the sparring ring. “Think I might run a pool. Find a picture of you from the paper dressed in your fancy suit and tie and post it next to the sign up sheet. Boys in here that haven’t watched you train will underestimate your pretty face.”
“You think I’m pretty?” I tease as Marco walks away. He gives me the finger and shakes his head without looking back.
Not yet ready to call it a day, I run for close to an hour, my feet pounding the deck of the treadmill as I go over my father’s visit again in my head. What is he really after? And what could he possibly want with Caden?
The only thoughts able to shed light on the darkness overshadowing my mind are those of Lily. The way she lights up the entire room for me when she walks in the door. Her smile, her face, her body…the way she loves so deeply that she can’t even let go after the person is gone. She’s dedicating so much of her life to carrying out her father’s dream, even after he’s not here to share it with her anymore. I didn’t even know what true love was until I saw the love for her father in her eyes. It makes me sad to know what I’ve missed out on in life, but inspires me to work to be lucky enough to have her feel that way about me someday.