Worth Forgiving

Sniffling, she averts her eyes for a moment. It breaks my heart to see her so upset. Internally, my brain is battling against my emotions, I’m so filled with anger, yet I want to make Lily feel calm. Safe.

“Are you hurt at all?” she asks.

“No.”

She tries to force a smile but fails. “He’s not going to let it go this easily.”

Seeing the warped smile on his face before I walked out of the gym, I couldn’t agree more, but I need to calm her, not make her more upset. So I try to make her feel better. “We reached an understanding,” I reply cryptically.

Lily furrows her brow, her sweet face a mixture of fear and confusion. “What…”

I lean down and kiss her lips gently, silencing her before she can finish her sentence. “Tomorrow. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow. He’s consumed enough of our day.” I begin walking toward the bedroom with her still cradled in my arms. She rests her head against my chest. “You need to get some rest.”

I don’t see the full extent of the bruising on her neck until she’s lying on the bed. It takes every ounce of self-control to not leave and hunt that motherfucker down and beat him until his entire body is covered with matching bruise marks. But right now, Lily needs me. My retaliation will have to wait. Instead, I grab an ice pack, slip into bed next to her, and lift her on top of me, placing her on my chest. I wrap my arms around her tightly, protectively, making sure she knows nothing is going to happen to her. My own adrenaline still pumping ferociously through my veins, sleep evades me. But I tenderly stroke Lily’s hair until I hear her ragged breathing turn peaceful, knowing she’s fallen asleep. And even then I keep holding her, stroking her hair, willing her to feel safe in my arms as she sleeps so she can rest.

Chapter 17

Lily

The warmth of the late summer sun peers in through the blinds, the brightness blinding me as my eyes flutter open, then squint, catching a ray of the early morning sunlight.

“Morning, Angel.” Jax’s throaty voice makes me smile.

“Good morning.”

I wake in the same position I fell asleep in, on top of Jax, which is unusual as I usually toss and turn.

“How you feeling?

“Okay. You?”

“I’m fine. Is your neck sore?”

Without thinking, I reach up and touch it. It’s sore to the touch. “It’s a little tender I guess.” Jax’s grip tightens around me.

Gently, he lifts me and rests me on my back. Propped up on one elbow, he leans over me. “It’s going to be that way for a while, you’re pretty bruised.”

“I am?” Guess I hadn’t looked in the mirror last night. Mirror. That reminds me, I must be a complete mess. Makeup streaks likely trailed down my face from all my crying.

Jax leans down and kisses my neck, ever so gently. “That hurt?” he questions with his lips still at my neck. I feel the warmth of his breath and it sends a shiver down my spine.

“No,” I whisper, hoping he’ll continue.

He kisses me again, a tiny bit to the left. “How about that?”

“Nope.” A smile cracks through my voice.

He moves a little more to the left, dropping two more tender kisses. “And that?”

“No.”

Jax continues kissing along the area that Caden injured with his menacing forearm, not neglecting any of my bruised skin. As he trails soft kisses in a line, I feel his erection growing against my leg. Never a morning person before, a little attention from this man and years of dedication to not smile before 9AM goes out the window.

Pulling his head back to check on me, Jax looks me in the eyes. “You sure you’re okay?” He’s serious.

“I would be…” I pause, a serious face firmly set before I grin mischievously, “…if you would keep doing what you were doing.”

Jax’s eyebrows lift with surprise, his mesmerizing sky blue eyes heating dark with desire. He drops his head back to my neck and kisses again, this time adding a flicker of his tongue. “You mean this?”

I nod, even though he doesn’t raise his head to see my response.

A few more kisses and he makes his way to my ear. He nibbles on my tiny lobe, tugging at it with his teeth for a second before releasing it. “How about this. Is this good?” he whispers in my ear. The sound of his strained voice is completely erotic and it makes my body perk up with desire.

I nod again. This time, it’s because I’m unable to form words. His kisses growing more intense and his hot breath in my ear, I feel heat swelling between my legs.

His hand drops down and he pushes the covers away so he can see my body. With need in his eyes, he teases his fingers around my br**sts, circling around my taut ni**les, but falling short of grazing them. Leaning into my ear, he whispers in a strained voice, “The first night I met you, I stroked my c**k picturing it was you as I rubbed up and down.”

Oh god. My body already aroused, it begins to thrum. I groan as he circles closer to my engorged nipple. “I thought about how it would feel to be inside you. Your legs spread wide as I filled you.” His hand trails lower down my body, stopping as he reaches just beneath my bellybutton. “Spread your legs, Lily.”

Parting my legs, I hope my obeying will get him to give me something. Anything. I need more than just his sweet kisses on my neck and a teasing bite on my ear. Need. Not want.

“More. I want you wide open for me.”

Complying, I spread my legs across the width of the bed, feet dangling off the edge of my queen size mattress.

Satisfied with my response to his demand, he trails his hand lower, stopping to rub my clit before he pushes two fingers into me. His fingers instantly slick, he easily burrows deep inside of me, finding a rhythm as he slips in and out. I moan into his touch.

“God, you’re beautiful. I love being inside of you. Watching you wiggle as I pump my fingers into that perfect little pu**y of yours. There are so many things I want to do to you right now.” Increasing the speed of his fingers, my body begins its pursuit of its release, teetering on the edge. I grind up, forcing his fingers even deeper.

I’m so close, just needing a little more to send me over the edge. It doesn’t even have to be more penetration. His dirty words are enough to bring me what I need. “Tell me,” I beg shamelessly, “what else do you want to do to me.”

“I want to taste you. Curl my tongue deep inside of you and feel you come around my mouth as I drink every bit of what you give me. I want to plunge my c**k into you and f**k you long and hard. And then, I want to fill your pu**y. Make you feel every bit of my hot come as it pours into you.”

I moan loudly as his strokes quicken, his thumb reaching up to find my clit as his fingers pump furiously into me. His words consuming my head, his body controlling mine, I give myself over to my orgasm, feeling completely and utterly possessed by this man.

Spent, but feeling the need to reciprocate…wanting to bring pleasure to Jax as he had just done for me, I reach for him, feeling him still hard pushed up against me.

He grabs my hand before I can touch him. “Not yet.” Pulling it up, he tenderly kisses my hand. Catching my eyes in his sea of blue, he acknowledges, “It’s not that I don’t want your hand on me. But we need to talk first.”

Chapter 18

Jax

I didn’t intentionally start the morning off the way it turned out, but I may as well use it to my advantage. I know Lily isn’t going to be happy when I tell her that my fight with Caden from last night wasn’t finished, it was merely postponed. We both plan on getting our vengeance out in the ring. A sated Lily would put up less of an argument.

“We need to talk about last night.”

Lily’s happy, freshly finger f**ked face falters, yet another reason for needing to beat the shit out of that ass**le. Taking away the afterglow of her orgasm, this had better be the last time Caden Ralley makes his way into the bedroom when I’m with her.

“What about last night?” Lily sits up, her relaxed demeanor instantly growing tense.

“We worked some things out I should tell you about.”

“Worked things out? How?” Brows drawn, her face is an open book for me to read. Confusion mixed with a whole lot of concern.

“Caden and I are going to settle our differences in the ring.” It sounded much better in my head than spoken aloud.

Lily’s eyes go wide as saucers. “What? I hope you’re joking.”

I hit her with a serious stare, but say nothing.

“You’re not joking.”

“No. And I’m looking forward to it too. He deserves to get his ass kicked for putting his hands on you.”

“That’s insane!” she screeches.

“Look at you, Angel. Your neck is purple. God knows what he would have done to you had I not been there.”

“Violence isn’t the answer to violence.” For the daughter of a champion fighter and co-owner of a chain of gyms, I’d think she would be better versed that although it may not be the answer, it goes a hell of a long way in settling a war.

“Maybe not. But it’s what is going to happen.” I shrug. “It was either that, or go at it last night without a referee and people to stop us from killing each other.”

“I don’t want to be the cause of you getting hurt.”

“And what makes you think I’m the one that will get hurt?” I bite back, offended that she doesn’t think I can take the ass**le. He picks on women for a reason. Can’t take a fair fight with a man.

“I didn’t mean it like that. He’s just, he’s just…not right. The last few months, I’ve seen a side of him that scares me. I don’t want you to get in the ring with him. I’d never forgive myself if anything ever happened to you.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve watched the guy fight. I’m going to enjoy kicking his ass. And he deserves every minute of it.”

“But…”

“I’m not changing my mind, Lily,” I warn, my tone a bit more dismissive than she’s ever heard from me.

Looking into my eyes, she sees I’m serious.

“You’re doing exactly what Caden did to me. Not listening to what I’m saying.”

“Don’t compare me to him.” My response is clipped.

“But you’re not listening to me.”

“I’m listening to you. I just don’t agree with you. I’ll listen to any reasoning you have. Tell me, why shouldn’t I get in the ring with Caden? You’ve grown up around fighting. Obviously you aren’t adverse to a good, clean, fair fight.”

“Because I don’t want to be the cause of the fight.”

“He’s the cause, Lily. I’m not a nonsensical caveman. We wouldn’t even be having this conversation if he didn’t put his hands on you. Would I like looking at him, knowing he’s your past? No. But I wouldn’t start a fight.”

“And I don’t want you to get hurt,” she adds.

“I won’t.”

“You really are impossible sometimes!” She wraps the sheet around her body and closes herself into the bathroom without a word.

***

I have no idea what the hell she did in there for an hour. I’d heard the shower go on a few minutes after she went in, but when she finally comes out, her spirit seems lifted. A little bit anyway.

She rests her arms on the kitchen counter, opposite me, as I finish off the breakfast I’m making for us. “It smells good. But what is it?” She says then reaches over and tries to put her finger into the pan. I whack her with the spatula and arch my eyebrow playfully when she looks up at me.

“It’s Nutella French toast.” I flip the two golden slices of bread stuck together with a heaping pile of hazelnut chocolate like a pro, catching it in the center of the pan.