Women in Love

'No matter how one regards legal marriage, yet to enter into the

married state, in one's own personal instance, is final-' 'I believe it is,' said Birkin, 'somewhere.' 'The question remains then, should one do it,' said Gerald.

Birkin watched him narrowly, with amused eyes.

'You are like Lord Bacon, Gerald,' he said. 'You argue it like a

lawyer--or like Hamlet's to-be-or-not-to-be. If I were you I would NOT

marry: but ask Gudrun, not me. You're not marrying me, are you?' Gerald did not heed the latter part of this speech.

'Yes,' he said, 'one must consider it coldly. It is something critical.

One comes to the point where one must take a step in one direction or

another. And marriage is one direction-' 'And what is the other?' asked Birkin quickly.

Gerald looked up at him with hot, strangely-conscious eyes, that the

other man could not understand.

'I can't say,' he replied. 'If I knew THAT--' He moved uneasily on his

feet, and did not finish.

'You mean if you knew the alternative?' asked Birkin. 'And since you

don't know it, marriage is a PIS ALLER.' Gerald looked up at Birkin with the same hot, constrained eyes.

'One does have the feeling that marriage is a PIS ALLER,' he admitted.

'Then don't do it,' said Birkin. 'I tell you,' he went on, 'the same as

I've said before, marriage in the old sense seems to me repulsive.

EGOISME A DEUX is nothing to it. It's a sort of tacit hunting in

couples: the world all in couples, each couple in its own little house,

watching its own little interests, and stewing in its own little

privacy--it's the most repulsive thing on earth.' 'I quite agree,' said Gerald. 'There's something inferior about it. But

as I say, what's the alternative.' 'One should avoid this HOME instinct. It's not an instinct, it's a

habit of cowardliness. One should never have a HOME.' 'I agree really,' said Gerald. 'But there's no alternative.' 'We've got to find one. I do believe in a permanent union between a man

and a woman. Chopping about is merely an exhaustive process. But a

permanent relation between a man and a woman isn't the last word--it

certainly isn't.' 'Quite,' said Gerald.

'In fact,' said Birkin, 'because the relation between man and woman is

made the supreme and exclusive relationship, that's where all the

tightness and meanness and insufficiency comes in.' 'Yes, I believe you,' said Gerald.

'You've got to take down the love-and-marriage ideal from its pedestal.

We want something broader. I believe in the ADDITIONAL perfect

relationship between man and man--additional to marriage.' 'I can never see how they can be the same,' said Gerald.