Women in Love

'And as to your earnings--you don't mind taking from me what you have

taken from the Education Committee, do you? I don't want you to be a

loser.' 'Oh,' said Gudrun, 'if I can have the studio and work there, I can earn

money enough, really I can.' 'Well,' he said, pleased to be the benefactor, 'we can see about all

that. You wouldn't mind spending your days here?' 'If there were a studio to work in,' said Gudrun, 'I could ask for

nothing better.' 'Is that so?' He was really very pleased. But already he was getting tired. She could

see the grey, awful semi-consciousness of mere pain and dissolution

coming over him again, the torture coming into the vacancy of his

darkened eyes. It was not over yet, this process of death. She rose

softly saying: 'Perhaps you will sleep. I must look for Winifred.' She went out, telling the nurse that she had left him. Day by day the

tissue of the sick man was further and further reduced, nearer and

nearer the process came, towards the last knot which held the human

being in its unity. But this knot was hard and unrelaxed, the will of

the dying man never gave way. He might be dead in nine-tenths, yet the

remaining tenth remained unchanged, till it too was torn apart. With

his will he held the unit of himself firm, but the circle of his power

was ever and ever reduced, it would be reduced to a point at last, then

swept away.

To adhere to life, he must adhere to human relationships, and he caught

at every straw. Winifred, the butler, the nurse, Gudrun, these were the

people who meant all to him, in these last resources. Gerald, in his

father's presence, stiffened with repulsion. It was so, to a less

degree, with all the other children except Winifred. They could not see

anything but the death, when they looked at their father. It was as if

some subterranean dislike overcame them. They could not see the

familiar face, hear the familiar voice. They were overwhelmed by the

antipathy of visible and audible death. Gerald could not breathe in his

father's presence. He must get out at once. And so, in the same way,

the father could not bear the presence of his son. It sent a final

irritation through the soul of the dying man.

The studio was made ready, Gudrun and Winifred moved in. They enjoyed

so much the ordering and the appointing of it. And now they need hardly

be in the house at all. They had their meals in the studio, they lived

there safely. For the house was becoming dreadful. There were two

nurses in white, flitting silently about, like heralds of death. The

father was confined to his bed, there was a come and go of SOTTO-VOCE

sisters and brothers and children.