Without You

I wanted what my mother had. I wanted to live on the ranch, wake up and work in the garden every day, and see my husband off to work with a kiss every single morning. I wanted the life my parents had. They were both so happy, and I couldn’t figure out why my father didn’t want me to have that life.

Will moved his lips to my neck, and his hot breath on my skin caused my stomach to drop.

God…just being around him makes my body do such crazy things.

Grace had said I was just horny and that Will and I needed to at least move on to a little bit more than kissing. As she’d said, we needed to cop feels here and there. Will was such a gentleman, and he’d never once pushed me into doing anything I didn’t want to do.

I could hear Grace’s voice in my head.

My God, you’re eighteen. Stop piss-assing around about it, Alex. I swear y’all have liked each other since…what? Since you were ten years old?

I was eighteen now, and Will was seventeen. He would turn eighteen in August.

I had to smile though because Grace was all talk. She liked Michael Clark, but she had been too afraid to even talk to him up until this year.

“What are you smiling about, Lex?”

Since we were kids, Will was the only one who called me Lex, and I liked it that way. It was special—something just between the two of us, something only we shared together—and we could do it in front of everyone.

“Us.”

He pulled away and looked at me. “Us? What about us?”

I felt my cheeks turning red, and I was almost positive Will could feel the heat coming from them.

“You’re blushing, Lex? Why, honey?”

I looked down and away, but he brought his finger up to my chin and forced me to look at him.

“Alex? What about us?”

“I’m tired of hiding. I want to tell our parents that we’ve been dating. I want to tell my dad I’ve decided on A&M, and I want…I want…”

His smile was from ear to ear. “You want what, sweetheart?”

Oh God…his voice alone sends me over the edge.

“I want more…” Damn it. I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“More of what?” he said with that stupid smile of his.

When he tilted his head and gave me that dimple, I knew he was teasing me.

I took a deep breath and quickly let it out. “I want to make love.”

Will’s smile faded, and he took a step back.

Oh no. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if my feelings for him are stronger than his feelings for me? Oh. My. God. What if that’s the reason he’s never pushed me into anything more?

I instantly felt like a fool. I pushed past him and started to walk away.

“Wait, Lex…please just wait a second.” He reached for my arm.

I felt the tears burning my eyes as I looked everywhere but at him. “I’m…I’m sorry. I should have just kept my mouth shut. Obviously, you don’t feel the same way, so…”

I inwardly cursed Grace for even planting this in my head, and I hatched a plan to bitch her out the next time I saw her.

Before I knew what was happening, Will was backing me up until I came to a stop against the barn wall.

I looked up into his beautiful blue eyes. With his wavy light brown hair, he looked just like his father. I wanted to run my hands through his hair so badly. He was probably the sweetest guy I knew—besides Luke and Colt, who were both hopelessly romantic.

He ran the backs of his fingers down my face and smiled. My skin almost felt like it was burning where he touched. He bent down like he was going to kiss me, but he stopped just short of my lips. His eyes darted down to my lips and then back up to my eyes.

“Lex, I love you,” he whispered.

I sucked in a breath of air and fought like hell to keep the tears from falling. It wasn’t the first time he’d ever said it to me, but this time, it felt so…different. A tear fell, and he quickly brushed it away with his lips as he let out a low, soft moan.

“You have no idea how hard it is for me not to make love to you every time I’m with you. I want nothing more than to be with you, but I want it to be right. I want it to be perfect for you. I don’t want us to sneak into a barn or do it in a car. You deserve so much more than that, sweetheart. I want to make you feel special the first time we make love.”

Wow. Oh…just wow. My breaths were coming out faster. I looked at his lips as I licked mine.

He closed his eyes. “You drive me mad with desire, Alexandra. You have to know that.”

Oh dear God…I think I might have an orgasm…right now…right here.