Without Regret

When she didn’t move to go to him, he sighed heavily as he sat up and reached for her, but she wasn’t having that. She moved back, still within reach, but he got the got the message that she wasn’t happy.

“We don’t have much time, Munchkin,” Chris said, letting his hand drop in his lap.

“You shouldn’t be doing this, Chris. You’re hurt,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion as she remembered the way he looked only hours ago. He should be getting checked out by a doctor, not running around doing god only knows what.

He reached for her and this time she let him pull her down until she was straddling his lap. “Shhh, Munchkin. It’s fine. I’m just going to go for a little run in the park. I’ll be fine,” he said, giving her a lopsided smile as he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Isn’t there another way?” she mumbled as she traced the large pink scar on his neck.

“Are you worried about me, Munchkin?” he asked softly.

“No,” she lied, but she was. She was absolutely terrified that he’d do something stupid and she’d never see him again. Of course he didn’t want to see her again after this and the reminder should have her shoving him away, but she couldn’t. She was too terrified to be mad at the moment.

“It will be fine, Munchkin, but I really need your help, because if I don’t do this a lot of people could get hurt,”

he explained. “I need to be able to draw attention away from the compound so that we can get you safely inside, Munchkin.”

“And from there you’re planning on sending me away,”

she whispered softly.

He pushed back her hair and gently cupped her chin and pressed a tender kiss against her lips. “It’s the only way I can keep you safe, Munchkin,” he said against her lips.

“I don’t want to go,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face against the curve of his neck. She didn’t want him to go either, but she wasn’t so selfish that she would willingly risk someone else’s life.

People, demons, shifters and whatever else was out there were looking for her, because of something she’d done and she couldn’t risk anyone’s life. She couldn’t.

“I’m cold,” she mumbled against his neck.

“I’m sure we can find you something to wear,” he said, gently pulling her off his lap.

She watched nervously as he searched through several small metal cabinets that lined the left side of the van.

After a moment he handed her a pair of black sweat pants, tube socks, and his shirt. She didn’t waste any time pulling the clothes on. The shirt of course was snug around and br**sts, but too big everywhere else.

She had to roll the legs of her pants up several times and the socks were thick and made it difficult to pull her damp shoes on, but somehow she managed.

As she sat there getting dressed, she did her best not to look at the small black button just above the backdoors.

It hadn’t taken her long to figure out that that button was an override switch to unlock the backdoors. The next time they stopped she was going to make her move.

If Chris really thought she was going to be able to sit back and let him risk his life for her again then he was in for a rude awakening. He said he was going to run to draw the attention away from the compound, well, she could do that. She could. He might not believe her, but she was pretty fast. Granted, she didn’t really know Boston that well, or rather at all, but she as long as she kept to the busy streets she should be okay, more than okay. In fact”What the hell are you doing?” she demanded as Chris snapped a handcuff around her right wrist and attached it the mesh metal side of the cabinets.

“Just making sure you’re safe,” Chris said brightly.

“Let me go,” she bit out, practically seething with anger.

He let out a long suffering sigh. “I would. I really would, Munchkin, but I’m afraid you’re planning on doing something stupid and I just can’t allow that.”

She scoffed at his dead on accusation. “I was not.”

“Yes, you were,” he said, chuckling and any other time she’d be pleased to hear him laugh and see him smile, but this was not one of those moments. He was going to do something incredibly stupid and she was helpless to stop him.

“No, I wasn’t. I was just cold, very, very cold,” she said, glaring at him and then of course added for emphasis a little shiver. “See?”

His smile turned sad as he reached over and cupped her face. “You don’t know how badly I wish things could be different, Munchkin.”

Dread filled her when he couldn’t quite meet her eyes.

“Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” she asked, nearly choking on a sob.

“Because I am, Munchkin,” he said, leaning in to kiss her, but she turned her face.

“Why?” she demanded, feeling her heart break. “You said you were going to take care of me until I was put on a plane. Why the rush?” she asked, not pointing out the fact that she didn’t plan on letting anyone do that.

“Once I leave this van, Munchkin, everyone after you is going to associate my scent with yours. If I’m with you when you’re transported to the airport it will make it easier to find you and I can’t have that.”

“Then don’t do this!”

“I have to, Munchkin,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “It’s easier this way.”

“Easier for who?” she cried. It sure as hell wasn’t easier on her. This was hell. This was the worst kind of pain she’d ever felt.

“For both of us. I’m sorry I let things get so far between us. I never should have touched you, Munchkin,” he explained softly.

His words felt like a physical blow, one that had her struggling not to lose it. “You regret everything that happened between us?” she asked, her voice barely above a soft whisper.

“Yes,” he said with absolutely no hesitation.

She squeezed her eyes shut, willing herself not to be sick as she asked, “What about the baby?”

“A mistake we need to have corrected before you leave.”

Her eyes flew open. “No,” she said firmly. “You may not want me or the baby, but I want this baby and I’ll be damned if you take it away from me,” she said, pressing her hand against her stomach as if she could shield the child from Chris’ words. She couldn’t believe the kind sweet man that made her feel alive, whole and happy for once was this cold bastard in front of her.

He sighed heavily as he moved away from her and picked up the bullet proof vest and looked at her.

Without a word unclipped the sides and moved to put it over her head. When she tried to shove him away he doubled his attempts and got it over her head and clipped to the sides before she put up a real fight.

“If you’re so damn determined to go out there then you need this more than me,” she said as she struggled to pull it off one-handed.

“Keep it on, Munchkin,” he said, moving towards the back door. For a moment he didn’t say anything and she was glad because she didn’t think she could handle another word from his mouth.

The privacy door slid open and Joshua moved to join them. He looked from her to Chris and opened his mouth to say something, but apparently decided against it as he sat down and waited.