With Every Heartbeat

“You caught us,” Quinn said with a grin as he held out his arm to draw her into his side. “We’re both complete chickens who couldn’t sleep after you made us watch that awful movie.”

Cora went to him willingly but frowned at me in concern when she saw the tears in my eyes.

They fell a little harder because it’d been so easy for him to turn to her after sharing such an intimate moment with me. I felt completely altered after being held in his arms, but obviously he hadn’t feel the same, which only made the guilt inside me fester and grow.

I was developing feelings for my best friend’s boyfriend. This was worse than awful. It was devastating.

“No, really,” Cora said, looking up at Quinn. “What’s going on here?”

He kissed her temple and pulled her tighter against him. “We ended up sharing a couple horror stories of our own.”

Cora’s shoulders fell. “Oh, so you finally told her, huh?”

He nodded. And I realized Cora already knew all about his past, probably ten times more than what he’d just told me. They were the ones with all the intimacies between them. Not him and me.

Feeling like a stupid, young fool, I murmured, “I think I can finally go back to sleep now. Excuse me.” My gaze met Quinn’s. I wanted to thank him for opening up to me, for making me feel better, but I didn’t know how, so I said nothing.

I slipped past them and hurried to my room, shutting myself inside and crawling under the covers until I had the blankets over my head, so I couldn’t hear anything that might be happening outside my room.

Guilt gnawed at me as a white-faced Zoey fled the kitchen, and it wasn’t because my girlfriend had walked in on me hugging another woman. I felt guilty because Cora had interrupted my moment with Zoey, as if I’d just cheated on Zoey—not Cora.

That was so messed up, it left me reeling. But I’d just shared something with Zoey that I’d never shared with Cora. We had connected on an entirely different level. I’d opened up to her and for some reason, I knew she’d been able to see me. The real me, not someone I had to strive to be. Just me.

“Let’s go back to sleep, my big man.” When Cora reached for my arm, I just couldn’t follow her. My head was everywhere; I felt that anything I did right then would be wrong. But staying the rest of the night with her while I was this way had to be worse.

I pulled my arm away before she could touch me. She shot me a surprised glance. I winced and rubbed the back of my neck. “How’s your stomach feeling?”

She nodded. “Better. In fact...” A grin spread across her face. “I’m willing to show you just how much better.”

Her fingers reached for my chest this time. My body reacted to the ideas she put into my head, but I was still too affected by what I’d just experienced with Zoey. So I caught Cora’s wrist, brought her hand to my lips and kissed her knuckles before smiling softly at her.

“Actually, if you’re feeling okay, I was going to head home. We gotta get up early in the morning to get ready for the game tomorrow.” I paused to send her a hopeful glance. “Are you going to make it to this one?”

She sighed and let her shoulders slump, telling me how much I’d just dissatisfied her. “I can’t. Zoey wants me to spend the day with her.”

From the attitude in the way she answered me, I didn’t believe her. In fact, I think she only said no as a way to punish me for not giving her her way. The urge to apologize rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down even though I wasn’t sorry; I just hated displeasing anyone.

Then another thought occurred to me. “Zoey wanted you to spend the day with her?” I asked, cocking my head to the side. “But she just told me she was going to the game with Caroline tomorrow.”

Cora’s brow puckered with confusion, and then she slowly shook her head. “No. I didn’t say Zoey. I said Rachel.”

“Uh...no. You said—”

“I said Rachel,” she bit out aggressively and stepped closer to me, her mouth tight with displeasure. “Maybe you have so much Zoey on the brain that’s what you thought you heard.”

I flushed and glanced away. I’d been certain she’d said Zoey, but crap, had she said Rachel? Was I thinking about Zoey too much?

Mumbling, I nodded. “Okay. Sorry.” Great, I’d ended up apologizing anyway. “Call me after the game whenever you get home then. I don’t have to work. We can do something if you want.”

Cora’s frown immediately ironed into a smile. “Sure thing, baby.” She smoothed her hand over my chest and reached up on her tiptoes to give me a kiss. I’m not sure why I shifted my face at the last moment so that she merely glanced the side of my lip instead of giving me full mouth-to-mouth contact. Kissing her right then just didn’t feel right.