Wishing For Us

   For the first time since she’d taken the plunge and moved in with him, she missed her old life. Sure, she’d only been half-alive, but her stress level had been so much lower. Really, when you had nothing left to lose, what was there to worry about? Life as the neighborhood cat lady? These days it felt like she suddenly had a lot on the line that she stood to lose.

Chapter Eight

   I’m an asshole, Jake thought the next morning as he sat in his office at the Myrtle Beach DeSanto headquarters. He’d evaded Lydia’s question about their future last night and had been relieved when she hadn’t called him on it. Truthfully, he hadn’t known what to say. He’d never expected to feel the array of confusing emotions that had come with becoming intimately involved with the woman who was legally his wife. Hell, even that word still turned him on. How powerful it felt to have one woman who belonged with you. Even if it was just on paper.

   As much as it called to the alpha inside him, it confused the hell out of a guy who’d never spent much time in relationships. His career had always come first to him. It had been years since he’d had more than a casual relationship with a woman. Then in one crazy night, he’d gotten married to someone he barely knew. His wild attraction to the mixture of strength and innocence that shone so brightly from Lydia hadn’t waned—in fact, it had only grown stronger the more time they spent together.

   He felt like a coward now, though, for avoiding the relationship talk she’d wanted to have. He’d already picked up on the fact that she had a shy side, and it must have been tough for her to initiate something like that. It wasn’t in a man’s DNA to admit that he was clueless as to what was happening or where it was going. But that’s exactly how he felt. He knew damn sure that he wasn’t ready for it to be over, though. Possibly, it made him a selfish prick for wanting everything that she had to give him while not being able to give her any answers in return.

   He was so mired in his thoughts that he almost jumped from his chair when a voice suddenly asked, “Everything running smoothly in Boston this morning?” He looked up to see Mark propped against the doorway, looking faintly amused. “You were a million miles away, weren’t you, and I don’t think it had anything to do with Boston.”

   For the first time in ages, he felt like a blushing schoolboy. When he was in the office, his mind was on work. He didn’t sit around daydreaming about a woman. To get busted doing just that felt beyond strange. “It’s nothing.” He shrugged. “Just getting things straight in my head for the day.”

   He and Mark didn’t really have a touchy-feely relationship; heck, most men didn’t, so he was surprised when his boss came in and settled in a chair in front of his desk. “How are things going with the new wife?”

   Quirking a brow, Jacob asked, “Shouldn’t that be a question for you to answer? You’re the newlywed fresh from his honeymoon.”

   “I am,” Mark agreed, looking supremely satisfied. “But you tied the knot more suddenly and under rather unusual circumstances. Frankly, I figured you’d have had the marriage annulled by now, or if necessary, been in the process of a divorce. But Crystal tells me that things are going well between you and Lydia. Which I knew anyway since you had no beef with Denny taking over much of the travel here. You once loved living out of a suitcase just as much as I did, so I’m thinking she’s the difference for you.”

   “Are you saying I’m slacking on my job?” Jacob asked incredulously. “If Denny has complained—”

   “Denny is as happy as a fat cat with an unlimited food supply,” Mark cut in. “He’s single and currently not seeing anyone so the travel is exciting to him. I’d hazard a guess to say it’s the best part of his new job. You go above and beyond for me, so there are no worries there. I was simply making a point that you’re content being in town more now, and I’m happy for you. I don’t know Lydia that well, but Crystal has a very high opinion of her. Anyway, good luck with—”

   Mark was getting to his feet when Jacob blurted out, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

   The other man looked startled at his outburst before lowering himself back down and asking wryly, “I’m guessing we aren’t talking about work since you can do that in your sleep.”

   “No.” Jacob shook his head. “It’s Lydia—my wife. She’s amazing with my daughter and I’m running home every day like a love-struck fool just to be around her for the evening. I swear to you, I almost asked her the other night if she wanted to do the crossword puzzle in the paper with me.”

   Obviously trying but failing to hide his smirk, Mark asked, “And that’s a problem why?”

   “I’ve never done a fucking puzzle before in my life, man. Have you?” Jacob demanded.

   Chuckling, Mark said, “No, can’t say as I have. But there’s nothing wrong with it. It shows that you want to do whatever is necessary to spend time with your wife. People change when they get married. You find yourself doing stuff you wouldn’t normally do. Hell, I bought my first box of tampons a couple of weeks ago. Walked straight into Walgreens, picked up the box, and dropped it on the counter like I was purchasing a case of large-size condoms. Then I grabbed the box before the kid could even bag it and ended up walking down four fucking aisles of traffic in the parking lot with them. So, yeah, your crossword dilemma doesn’t exactly blow me away. It only gets worse, my friend. But I’m happy as a pig rolling in shit, so what the hell does it matter?”

   Jacob burst out laughing at Mark’s analogy. He couldn’t imagine the uptight control freak that Mark DeSanto had always been admitting to buying tampons and being happy about it. Maybe his paranoia was ruining what could be something good between him and Lydia. He’d already married her so didn’t he owe it to them both to give it a try? After only a few weeks, he couldn’t imagine going back to his life without her—that had to say an awful lot about his feelings for her. Looking at his boss, and friend, he said sincerely, “Thank you for that. I’m a little worried about what you’ve done in the name of love so far, but hey, no judgment here, brother. I’m sure I’d do the same if Lydia really needed it. I’d damn well get that bag before I left the store, though.”