Wisdom

“You really think that?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. But luckily for Mae, I’m not the one that has to forgive her this time,” Jack said. Matilda went over and jumped up on him, and he scratched her head. “As soon as Daisy’s old enough to realize what Mae did to her…” He whistled and shook his head.

“Where is Mae?” I asked.

“I think she’s still in Ezra’s room. Why? Are you gonna go talk to her?”

“Yeah, I wanna see where her head is at with all of this and what she thinks they’re going to do, since nobody else has any idea.”

“Alright.” He nodded once, but I couldn’t get a read on how he felt. Lately, his emotions seemed murky, like he was trying to bury them too deep for me to feel. “I’ll be outside with Matilda.” He stepped outside, and the dog followed at his heels, even though she’d just come in.

I walked down to Ezra’s room, feeling like I was creeping up on a stranger. I’d just seen Mae a few weeks ago, but my visit with her hadn’t been that amicable. It had been months since she actually lived here, and it sounded strange hearing her voice as she sang softly to herself.

The bedroom door was slightly ajar, but I pushed it open a little farther, peering inside. Mae had made the bed and moved onto fluffing the pillows and tidying up. Ezra wasn’t a messy person, but he’d let things fall to the wayside since she’d been gone. Whenever she cleaned, she always had a song on her lips, and she settled for something low and bluesy by Etta James.

“I see you lurking outside the doorway, you know,” Mae said without looking at me. She folded a pair of Ezra’s pants that had been crumpled on a chair and set them on the bed.

“Sorry,” I mumbled and pushed the door the rest of the way open.

“You all don’t need to hide from me. I’m not going to bite.” She picked up a few other stray articles of clothing off the floor and began folding them neatly. “I had no idea Ezra would be such a slob after I moved out. And I noticed that none of you have been doing the dishes.”

“Bobby’s the only one that eats. The dishes are his responsibility,” I said, referring to the pile of dishes growing in the kitchen sink.

“He’s a guest, and all you’re capable of picking up a mess, no matter who made it.” She’d folded his clothes and moved on to picking up the books and newspapers Ezra had strewn about the room. “You’re all adults here, and you should act like it.”

“Milo’s not an adult yet,” I corrected her and leaned back against the wall.

“How is your brother?” Mae stacked the books neatly, making sure all the edges matched up, and she paused for a moment. “He didn’t talk to me much in Australia or when I got here. I felt like he didn’t want me to be here, like he might be mad at me.”

“He’s good,” I said. “But… let’s be honest, Mae, we’re all kinda mad at you.”

“Hmm.” She stopped straightening the books and touched at a strand of her hair before flitting about the room to pick something else up. “I didn’t expect any of you to understand, but I hoped that you’d support me.”

“We all understand where you’re coming from. I get it completely.” I stepped away from the wall, moving towards her, but she had her back to me as she folded a blanket on the chair.

“No, you don’t. None of you. You just think you do.”

“Fine. Whatever. I don’t. Nobody understands your pain, Mae. Because it is so unique! Nobody’s ever loved something so much they would do anything to save it, except for you, Mae. You cornered that market!”

“Don’t condescend me!” Mae whirled on me, looking at me for the first time. “I didn’t do anything to deserve your contempt! I’ve made a choice that doesn’t even affect you!”

“How does it not affect me? You and ‘your choice’ are hiding out in my house, putting my family and friends in danger!”

“We’ll be out of here first thing-”

“That’s part of the problem too, Mae!” I cut her off. “We didn’t want you out of our lives, but you left us with no other choice. You know she can’t live here, not with us. So that means we can’t live with you either.”

“You know I didn’t want to leave you.” She tilted her head, tears filling her eyes. “I love you all so much, and I did want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I have let my family down too much. I had to save her.”

“But at what cost, Mae?”

“I know.” She wiped at her eyes and looked away from me, smoothing out nonexistent wrinkles on the bedspread. “I know what I’ve done. I know what she is.” She swallowed hard and looked at me, meeting my eyes. “I won’t leave her. I can’t.”

“Nobody’s asking you to,” I said finally.

“Thank you.” She nodded and picked up Ezra’s clothes to put them in the hamper. “How has Ezra been?”

“He’s been doing better.” I sat down on the bed, relieved to be talking about something lighter. “He’s helping me with school now.”

“Oh? I didn’t realize you were going to school.” Mae sounded surprised but happy.

“I’m not. At least not yet, but Ezra doesn’t want me getting stupid. Or stupider, anyway.” I shrugged. “I think I might go to high school next year. It’s gotta be easier than what Ezra’s having me do.”