Wisdom

I flipped backwards and stretched my feet out in front of me. Violet moved, so instead of my feet colliding with her head the way I’d hoped, I merely kicked her in the chest. I landed on her, but I didn’t even pin her down. She had me flipped over onto my back, one of her hands gripping my shoulders.

Raising my feet up, I pressed them into her stomach so I could push her off me. She moved her hand back in swift movement, grabbing something from the back of her jeans. I started to kick her off, then I felt a sharp pain in my chest as she poked something in it.

I looked down and the saw the pointed edge of a titanium stake pressed above my heart, hard enough to stain my shirt with blood.

10

“What the hell do you want?” I asked, my breath coming out in rasps. Terrified adrenaline pulsed through me, but I wasn’t sure that I could get her off me before she drove the stake through my heart.

“I wanna make sure you don’t get caught off guard like this again.” Her violet eyes held mine, looking at me solemnly, then she got off me.

“What the fuck was that?” I jumped up, holding my hand over my heart. I had no serious injury, and the small wound would heal within minutes, but for a second there, I’d been certain she was gonna kill me.

“You’ve got good reflexes, and I think you have some real strength under there,” Violet said, ignoring my confusion and rage. She brushed the dirt off her clothes and smoothed out her shirt. “But you need to think more, be less impulsive. You need to plan out your attack. Have you ever played chess?”

“Once and I suck at it,” I said. “But you nearly killed me!”

“I didn’t come anywhere close to killing you.” She rolled her eyes. “If I really wanted to kill you, you’d be dead.”

“So what were you doing then? That’s not training! That’s like… attempted murder.” I fumbled for a biting comeback, but it didn’t faze her at all.

“I want you to remember that. What it felt like believing you would die. If you really feel it, really own how horrifying it is, you’ll make sure that you never feel that way again.” Violet pointed at me using the stake, and that didn’t really make me feel any better.

“I already don’t want to die. I’ve been in shit before. I know what it’s like to fight your life,” I said. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” She wagged her head.

“How did you learn how to fight like that?” I asked. “You weren’t that good the last time I saw you.”

“No, I was, but Lucien wasn’t, and I let him call the shots,” she shrugged. “That was stupid. But living on the streets, alone, a lot of vampires will mess with you. You have to learn to fight back, or they’ll kill you.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said quietly.

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head as she walked back towards the stairwell. “Come back tomorrow. We can practice more then.”

“Wait. Do you know what Olivia meant by what she said? That I have a ‘draw?’” I asked.

“Who knows what Olivia means,” she replied and went inside.

I rubbed at my chest, and my heart still pounded heavily underneath. I looked around, but I couldn’t admire the skyline the way I normally did. I thought about how terrified I had been in that split second when I really believed Violet meant to kill me. I wondered if Jane felt like that. If she knew she was going to do die.

I climbed up on the edge, standing on the wall so my shins pressed against the railing. I could see the spot where Jane had been found, and I wondered if I would live if I jumped. My bones are hard to break, but it’s not impossible.

Swallowing hard, I stared down for a minute. It was so hard to fathom life and death anymore. The idea of both had become such foreign concepts to me. In order to live forever, I’d be constantly surrounded by death. I’m not sure I could ever get used to that.

When I walked through the penthouse, I didn’t look for Olivia to say goodbye. I just wanted to get out of there. I raced home to a quiet house, disappointed to find everyone in bed. Matilda was the only thing awake, and I stood outside with her, watching her play.

My body still rang with adrenaline. I didn’t want to sleep, but I couldn’t think of anything better to do. I made Matilda sleep with me since I didn’t want to be alone. She usually slept by the door when Jack was gone, as if she could summon him that way.

Eventually, I managed to fall asleep, but it was fitful. Nightmares plagued me, and I kept having that same feeling I had when I’d been Australia. That panicked paralysis, and I’d wake up and kick my legs just to prove I could move.

Jack came into the room late that afternoon, sneaking as quietly as he could. Matilda whimpered with happiness, and he tried to shush her, so I pretended to be asleep. He climbed in bed and laid next me, his chest pressed to my back. When he wrapped his arm around me, I snuggled deeper into him.

“I missed you,” I said, holding his arm to me.

“I missed you, too.”

He kissed the back of my neck and hugged me tightly. He held me for a minute and then propped himself up on his elbow. I rolled onto my back so I could look up at him, and his blue eyes were etched with worry.

“Is something wrong?” Jack asked.

When I looked into his eyes, his feelings hit me even more intensely. His love and concern wrapped around me, enfolding me like a blanket and pushing away whatever I’d been feeling before.