Wilder

“I hate it when you use logic.”

Her smile sped up my heart. “Well, one of us has to.”

“I think she’s right,” Landon said. “You’ve landed enough that the two days of practice we can sneak in at Abu Dhabi should solidify the trick for the show.”

“We still sure about a live broadcast?” Penna asked.

“I am if you are,” I answered. “Look, we’re risking a lot this year. We don’t even know if the program will give us the extra week we need for the X Games in January. We need this to be big. A canned recording of us jumping around isn’t going to do it. We need the synchronized stunts we’ve been practicing, and all the other tricks to make this work. We need the triple front.”

First Landon nodded, then Penna. “Okay,” she said.

“Can you get in any time in Madagascar?” Leah asked.

I shook my head. “The first day is all school trips, and the second is for the skydive. We don’t even have access to the equipment there that we’d need.”

“Then it looks like rest up and don’t break anything on the skydive,” she said with school-teacher seriousness, looking down at her watch. The bandages were off her hands, but there were still healing cuts on her palms from the branches she’d clung to. “Okay, put your toys away. We have to study tonight for the World Religions quiz tomorrow. Plus I need some extra Physics time.”

I internally winced. Having her with me at practice was phenomenal, and I could take the hit, but I hated that I was stealing her time, too—hated the feeling of dragging her down. “Why doesn’t Landon take you back? I need another few minutes here with the bike. That way you can get in your work, too.”

“I don’t need an escort.”

I picked up her hand and kissed one of the pink lines that marked her skin. “I beg to differ. Please give me this? Take Landon?”

She softened. “Fine. Hurry, okay?”

My hands cradled her face, and I kissed her soundly. “Absolutely. Put on something sexy, and I’ll be there even faster.”

She huffed. “Uh-huh, as long as you think yoga pants and a hoodie are sexy. Bye, Pax.” She waved her fingers at me and walked toward the door with Landon.

“I love yoga pants,” I called after her. “Easy to pull off!” Just the thought of sliding them over her ass had me ready to chase after her.

“Only if you study!” she yelled back and disappeared.

A little of my sunshine went with her.

“Does she know?” Penna asked as we walked toward the bikes.

“Know what?”

She rolled her eyes. “You damn well know what.”

“No. She doesn’t. It would ruin everything.” I popped the lid to one of our gear boxes and started packing stuff away.

“So, what, you’re not going to tell her? That’s pretty messed up, even for you.”

I stopped, looking up at her. “She’ll leave me. We both know it. And if she’s not talking to me, I can’t protect her from whatever is out there gunning for us.”

She canted her head. “Pax—”

“No. I don’t want to hear it. I’m aware of the giant fucking mess I’ve made. I’ve only got a couple weeks with her before the shit will most definitely hit the fan, and I’m not giving them up. I don’t care if it makes me more of an asshole, and maybe if I get these weeks with her I can convince her not to kick my ass when it all comes out.”

“Guilt much?” she asked.

“What?”

“First, I wasn’t talking about that. But yes, she’s going to kick your ass, and she should. But she loves you, so you’ve got a fighting chance that you can pull through it.”

“Then what the hell are you talking about?” I asked, running my hands over my hair. The closer we got to second trimester, the more paranoid I was becoming, the more desperate I was to hold on to Leah. “When am I going to tell her what?”

“That you’re in love with her, you stupid ass.”

I blinked, then swallowed. “I’m not…” Wait. Wasn’t I? The incredibly sweet pressure in my chest, the way I couldn’t breathe fully unless I was touching her, the constant longing to make her smile… “Shit.”

“It’s about time you caught up,” Penna said.

I glared at my oldest friend.

“What? The rest of us knew pretty damn quickly. Probably by Barcelona and definitely by Mykonos. There’s a reason you suck at poker. And it’s not our fault that you’re kinda slow on the emotional uptake.” She stared me down.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” I asked, lacing my fingers behind my neck. Love. The one emotion I never chased. The one high I’d never wanted to experience. God, it felt great, which would only turn to horrible when I lost her.

“Tell her. Kiss her. Pray to God you can make it through the storm you’re headed for, then marry her and make pretty little Wilder babies.”

“Yeah, and I’ll turn a pumpkin into a carriage and shit while I’m at it.” Fuck, why the hell had I fallen in love with Leah? Love was bullshit. It warped the world, made you promise things like forever and then apologize to everyone around you when forever turned into “well it was a great decade, right?” Love led to lawyers, separate houses, custody agreements, and screwed-up lives. Love was a temporary madness that resulted in lifelong consequences.