Wilder
Page 63Home. That was the only word that fit whenever I walked into this house. The open floor plan made the floor-to-ceiling windows, and therefore the sea, the main attraction, all the furnishings in the house comfortably minimalist.
It was the one property out of dozens that she’d asked for during the divorce.
“Paxton, why don’t you take her down the hall to the bedrooms. You take the blue one and give her the white one with the ocean view. Leah, it’s right across the hall from Paxton’s just in case that maybe turns into a yes.” She threw Leah a wink and headed toward the other end of the house where her room was.
Leah was quiet as I walked her to her room. Well, my room. But I didn’t mind giving it to her, knowing it meant she’d be in my bed—the bed she immediately sat on when we walked in.
She gazed out the window, where there was an unencumbered view of the beach below. “It’s beautiful here.”
“Yeah,” I answered, watching the way a slight smile tugged at her lips. “It is.” I’d had those lips on mine, tasted her tongue, felt the way she came apart under my hands. She was every bit the firework I’d known she would be, and I couldn’t touch her. Not until she’d made the decision to trust me with everything she was. “You know, I’m going to get settled. There’s a computer there if you want to log in to eCampus. I know you’re dying to.” I pointed to the desk on the opposite side of the bed. “There are some of my clothes in that dresser. They’ll be too big for you, but they might work to sleep in tonight.” With each word I backed up a little more, until I was standing in the doorframe.
“Are you running away?” she asked.
“Yep,” I answered truthfully. “It’s that, or I start persuading you to take off your clothes.”
“Seriously.” Now I was standing in the hall, but I wasn’t sure the distance was safe enough, not as tightly strung as I was over her. “Okay, well, I have a practice area here, so I’m going to go check everything out.”
“I’ll wave a red flag if I get turned on,” she answered with a smile.
Fuck it. I crossed the distance between us, taking her mouth in a kiss that was blatantly sexual, my tongue moving inside her mouth the way I craved moving inside the rest of her body. I kissed her like I’d left a piece of my soul with her and I needed to explore every line of her mouth to find it.
She groaned, her fingers digging into my shirt, kissing me back with her own fierce demands.
I’d never felt such a primal need in my life. Not just to fuck her, or even make love to her, but to brand her in a way that she’d never doubt that she was mine, that I was hers.
I broke the kiss and backed away with my hands in the air. “Yeah, red flag. Good idea.”
Then I walked away from her as fast as I could. You fucking ran, admit it.
“I’m fine,” I answered, but I still pulled out a stool and sat at the bar, the white granite cool beneath my fingers. There was no point arguing with Mom when food was involved.
She put a grilled cheese in front of me and then rested her palms on the counter as I devoured it in about five bites. “God, I miss these,” I said, my mouth full.
“What are you doing with the girl, Paxton?” she asked.
“Or we can cut right to it,” I said before taking a long sip of iced tea. She still made it sweet—the way Dad liked it.
“She’s not your usual type.”
I looked away, knowing she’d cut straight through my bullshit. “You don’t like her?”
“On the contrary. I might like her too much. At least, too much to let you crush her if you’re only interested in the chase.”
Her eyes softened. “I knew that the moment you showed up with her. You and I have always been birds of the same feather. Nothing ties us down for long. But, Paxton, not everyone is built like us, and you need to keep that in mind before you turn that young woman’s maybe into a yes. The life you lead…”
“I can have a relationship, too. I deserve to try.” I hated that she saw every problem at its base, every fire at its point of origin.
“You deserve love, Paxton. You deserve a woman who is going to stand by you and support the crazy things you do, because it’s part of who you are. You deserve to watch yourself through her eyes, to grow into who you can become simply because she deserves your best. But that also means that you have to be willing to change.”
Leah’s face ran through my mind. How she looked when I first saw her on the balcony, the way her lips slightly swelled when I kissed her, the way I hadn’t been tempted by any other girl since I met her. “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m ready.”
She squeezed my hand, her eyes lit with a fire I hadn’t seen in years. “Maybe you are. Now go tune up your bike—I know you want to—and I should take Leah shopping so she’s not stuck wearing your old clothes while she’s here.”
Leah. Wearing my boxers and a white tank top. Or my pajama pants so loose that I could slide them over her ass. I nearly groaned at the thought. “That would be great. Use my credit card.”
She scoffed. “I have more money than I know what to do with.”