When We Love

During the evening, I notice Vincent and his band members across the hall with a group of girls, laughing and seemingly having a great time. I also notice there is a beautiful black girl constantly by his side.

When Anne and I walk to the bathroom together, I can see she is upset about something. Before I can ask her, she blurts, "He has a new girlfriend every week, and I can't understand why I am so attracted to him."

I ask, "Who?" I presume, heartbreakingly, she is talking about Johnathan.

" Vincent. Who else would I be talking about?"

" Oh. Okay," I always seem to have my foot in my mouth.

Drawing from my own limited experience, I say softly, consolingly, "Sometimes we just fall in love with someone and we then hope beyond reason that that person likes us back with the same measure of undying love."

She laments, "I have never seen him with a white girl, not ever, not once, so I don't know what makes me think he will notice me."

I do not know what to say, so I just smile awkwardly. I decide then, annoyed, Anne and I could actually be truly great friends because we have so much in common - we are both unable to have relationships with boys-boys we want. I like Johnathan and she wants Vincent, desperately.

Tanya goes home long before the scheduled end of the ball, and then Johnathan comes to stand with us again. He actually comes to stand next to me, and then nudges me slightly, grinning.

I ignore him, pretending I do not notice him. I wonder irritated if he really thinks he is now going to replace Tanya with me because he had no one to spend the rest of the evening with.

I turn to walk away from him, to go and stand somewhere else in the group. He folds his hand around my arm softly.

I look up at him, frowning, and insist softly, "Leave me."

He smiles that boyish smile of his. "Are you jealous, Chrissie Taylor?"

" Why on earth would I be jealous?" I laugh dryly, making sure to keep my voice low because I did not want everybody to hear us.

" I was dancing with Tanya all night-that's why."

" Please, don't flatter yourself. You can spend your time with whomever you want to, I am not your girlfriend." I pause, "and I never will be."

I look down at his hand still wrapped around my arm, "Let me go, now."

" Come on, you don't mean that." He smiles alluring.

" Yes, I actually do," I insist.

He moves and is standing in front of me, once again very close. He brings his head down and rests it on my forehead as if in exasperation.