When I Fall

“Fuck.”

She says it too. I imagine her tacking on another word. Me or yes or please. Her ass in my hands while she whispers it against my lips. The word getting stuck in her throat while I fuck her mouth.

Shit. Not helping.

She shuts the door behind her and steps down onto the small porch I’m standing on. Her hand flattens against my tie. “You look nice.”

“Nice?” I ask, tilting my head. “That pretty mouth of yours just cursed at the sight of me. We both know I look damn good.” Her fingers pinch the material of my tie, then release it all too quickly as she gauges me with uncertainty. “You look damn good too, sweetheart.”

She wets her lips. “Thanks. So do you.”

A smirk tugs at my mouth. Fuck, I love that I do that to her. Make her forget what she’s just said.

I guide her down the steps with a hand on her lower back. “We covered that already. But if you want to continue boosting my ego, you can tell me all night long how amazing I look. No guy minds hearing that.”

Her eyes narrow before she swats at me with her purse. “Like your head can afford to get any bigger.”

“It can. I’m actually not told that enough.” I step up behind her after she opens the passenger door. “Ready?” I ask, hands gripping her waist.

She looks at me over her shoulder, then nods.

I’d draw this moment out if she was wearing anything else. That plump ass is barely covered. I don’t need it in my face when I’m parked in her aunt’s driveway. Not when I’ve done some of the filthiest shit to it in my head.

“Reed!” she squeals as I toss her up into the truck. Her body slides across the bench seat to the driver’s side with the force of my hands.

Fuck, I forgot she weighs nothing. I could’ve thrown her clear through the window.

She moves back over where I meant to put her, her mouth fighting a smile. “Eager?” she asks through a subtle laugh. Her fingers rake through her dark hair, untangling it at the ends. It’s wavier than it was the other day. Disheveled from the lift I just gave her. I imagine this is what it looks like after she’s rolled around in a bed. Or the aftermath of fucking her in the bed of my truck.

Why? Why would you give yourself that image?

“Reed.”

“Yeah?” My eyes snap to hers, pulling away from the fingers in her hair.

Her hand reaches blindly for the harness. “I asked if you were eager.” She studies me with curiosity.

I probably look like a creep with a hair fetish.

“Yeah,” I say, finally giving her an answer before shutting the door.

I am fucking eager. The shoes aren’t helping. That fucking dress isn’t helping. Beth isn’t helping.

I climb up into the truck and start it up. I pray she’s buckled because I can’t handle strapping her in right now. Not when I know how close my hands will be to the parts of her I want to taste.

“You good?” I ask, backing out of the driveway, my eyes on the rear-view mirror.

“Mm. Yeah. A little nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?” I shift into first gear and risk a quick look in her direction. Her head is turned away as she stares out the passenger window.

“I know I’m going to kiss you again tonight.”

“Right.” My knuckle cracks as I squeeze the steering wheel.

“I’m just nervous about it,” she adds, her voice growing quiet. “Not because I don’t want to kiss you. I just don’t want to feel like I have to do it.”

I slow to a stop at the end of the street, then look over at her. “If you feel that way, don’t kiss me.” She turns her head and our eyes lock. “We can be a couple who doesn’t do PDA. There’s no reason why we have to be all over each other for this to be believable. And you shouldn’t be doing anything you don’t want to do. Not with me or anybody else.”

“I don’t think I’ll feel that way. I don’t feel that way right now.” She shifts her gaze to the dashboard. “When I kissed you before, I wanted to do it. If I kissed you right now, it would be because I wanted to do it. But when we walk in there, everything you do is going to be for her to see. If you kiss me, it’ll be for her. I don’t want to feel like I’m kissing you back because I have to play along.”

“If I kiss you, that’s going to be for me. Not for some bitch I don’t give a shit about.”

Her mouth falls open with the softest gasp. “Oh.”

I look past her shoulder to clear traffic, then drive forward. My gaze shifts between the road and her profile, lingering on the latter.

“Don’t be nervous. Just be how you are with me. And quit looking away when you need to tell me something.”

The corner of her mouth lifts slightly. She tucks her hair behind her ear, pulls her shoulders back, and reaches into her small purse.

“Do you know where Swan Harbor is?” she asks, pulling out a teal blue card and studying it.

I grind my jaw. My head falls back against the seat as I inhale through my nose.

If that shit wasn’t already printed on that fucking invitation, I’d swear Molly picked this venue just to see if I reacted to it.

“Yeah,” I answer, shifting gears as I cut through traffic. I’m suddenly ready to get this night over with. Ready to show up, prove I don’t give a damn, and leave with Beth on my arm.

Swan Harbor. What a cunt.

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