What I Need

CJ is in surgery and I can’t sit down or stand still. I can’t stop looking up every time a hospital worker pushes through the doors leading to the back. They’re carrying a clipboard and calling a name, but it’s not CJ’s name. It’s never CJ’s name.

What if they’re having complications?

My stomach rolls as the Emergency Room doors slide open again. I glance up and watch Ben, Luke, and Tessa hurry through. This stops my pacing.

“What happened?” Ben asks me. He looks at the front of my shirt. “Jesus Christ. Are you all right?”

“Riley, are you bleeding?” Tessa wraps her hand around my arm. Her skin pales.

“No.” I quickly shake my head. “No, it’s not mine.”

“Fuck,” Luke mutters, pushing his hands through his hair and gripping the back of his head.

They all look concerned and as worried as I feel.

“He’s in surgery,” I inform them. “He cut his leg pretty bad. I don’t know anything yet. I’m waiting.”

“What the fuck happened?” Ben asks again, pulling his arms across his chest. He looks angry now.

With me? Do they all blame me for this?

Maybe they should.

I look between their faces, and then at the floor. “Um, he was pushed through a window . . . by my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.”

For real this time. We’re through. Over.

Officially over.

I made that clear after I watched Richard get arrested. I screamed our ending at the cop car window he sat behind. I made sure he knew we were finished before I followed the ambulance to the hospital. I didn’t want any confusion or mishearing of words.

I sniffle when my nose begins to burn again. “He was trying to get me to leave with him and CJ saw. He knew Richard was on something.”

“What was he on?” Ben asks.

“Coke.”

“Oh, Jesus,” Tessa says. She gives my arm a squeeze.

“Luke,” Ben growls.

I lift my eyes.

“Yeah, I’m on it.” Luke moves away while tugging his phone out of his pocket.

“Riley.”

I turn back to Ben. “Mm?”

“You’re not hurt? You’re all right?”

“I’m not hurt,” I reply with a quiet voice.

The pain in my chest calls me a liar.

The Emergency Room doors slide open again, and Reed and Beth walk through. Beth pulls her hand free and rushes over.

“Oh, my God,” she whispers against my ear. Her warm arms wrap around me. She’s in her pajamas. She doesn’t mind that I have blood on my shirt. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

I shake my head, locking eyes with Reed when he steps up behind his wife. He looks bothered and bone-breaking angry. I never thought Reed could hate Richard any more than he already did.

I was wrong.

Ben grabs his attention and fills him in on what I just shared, while Tessa and Beth fire a million questions at me.

“Did you know he was doing drugs?”

“Whose coke was it?”

“Was he doing it at home too?”

“Are you sure you’re okay, Riley?”

I answer what I can, that I’m fine. I don’t know the answers to anything else.

“He’s being booked in Kent County,” Luke announces, returning to the group. “Drug and assault charges. You trying to go down there?”

Ben lifts his chin. “Yeah. Let’s get word on CJ first. I wanna make sure he’s all right.” Ben looks to Tessa. “Do me a favor and call Mia. She’s up. Let her know what’s going on.”

Tessa nods and takes Luke’s phone. They both move to grab a seat. Ben follows.

Beth keeps hold of my hand.

“Riley.”

I look up at Reed after he speaks. My lip trembles. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper with tears in my eyes.

He blinks, brow furrowing. “What? Why? Jesus, this wasn’t your fault. It was that fucking dickhead’s fault. Come here.”

Reed grabs the back of my neck and pulls me against him, hugging me to his chest. He holds me tight.

I hold him tighter.

“You got nothing to be sorry for, okay?” he soothes against the top of my head.

I don’t nod or say ‘okay’ back. I don’t believe him.

“Thank fuck CJ was there. Shit. You could’ve left with that asshole.”

Reed’s words don’t offer me the comfort he’s trying to give. They can’t.

My guilt is too heavy. It’s the only thing I can feel.

“You’re not hurt? You swear?” he asks.

“I swear.”

“Tully? Do I have family here for CJ Tully?”

I turn out of Reed’s hold and face the nurse who just spoke. She’s wearing surgical scrubs and holding a patient file. The rest of the group crowds at my back.

“Yeah. How is he?” Luke asks.

She smiles gently. “He’s doing fine. He’s in recovery. You’ll be able to see him in about an hour.”

A collective sigh leaves the group. Beth gives my hand a light squeeze, and I turn and look at her.

He’s okay.

“Thank fuck,” Ben says after the nurse moves away. He rakes his hands down his face, then turns to Luke. “All right. You ready?”

Luke nods. “Handle this, then we’ll come back here.” He looks to Tessa. “You stayin’, babe?”