Wanted: Undead or Alive (Love at Stake #12)
Page 18“Oh my gosh, Phineas.” She set the box of food down and moved closer to him. “What happened?”
“He beat the crap out of me.”
She gasped and touched his shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. It changed my life. I’d been a little kid before that with no purpose or direction. I was a lousy student and a lazy athlete, but that day, I woke up. I realized I needed to man up. I started working hard in school, so I could get a good job to support the family. And I started going to a gym every afternoon to learn how to box.”
Man up? Brynley’s heart ached for the twelve-year-old boy who’d tried to become a man overnight so he could provide for his family and protect them.
“By the time I was fourteen, I was a pretty good boxer. I won a few local bouts. And I was as tall as my dad, so he started being more careful.”
“That’s good.”
He shook his head. “It didn’t last. He came home drunk one night and started in on my mom. That time, I beat the crap out of him.”
“Wow,” Brynley breathed. He’d stood up to his dad. Something she’d never had the nerve to do with her own dad.
“Then I told him to leave and never come back.”
“Did he?”
“Yeah.” Phineas shrugged. “Turned out he had another woman on the side, so he just moved in with her.”
“What a pig.”
“He got what he deserved. His girlfriend had cheated on him and passed the AIDS virus to him.” Phineas sighed. “He’d passed it on to my mom.”
“Oh no.”
Phineas was silent for a moment with his eyes closed. When he opened his eyes, they glinted with unshed tears. “She died of AIDS when I was nineteen.”
“Oh, Phineas.” Brynley leaned her head against his shoulder and rested a hand against his chest. “I’m so sorry. I know how it feels.”
“Do you?” He placed his hand on top of hers.
“Yes.” Tears filled her eyes. “I lost my mom when I was eighteen.”
“Really?” He squeezed her hand. “I thought werewolves could live for centuries.”
“Not with lung cancer.” Or a broken spirit. She’d always suspected her mother hadn’t fought to survive.
“I’m sorry.” He laced his fingers with hers.
“Do you still have your aunt?” she asked.
“Yes.” He leaned his head back against the wall. “She worked hard to support us. And I won some money in boxing matches, so we managed all right. But toward the end when Mom was really sick, we ran up some bad medical bills. And then there was the cost of the funeral.” He grimaced. “I did something really stupid.”
“What?”
“I agreed to throw a fight for a lot of money. I thought it would solve all our problems. It did pay everything off, but . . .”
“It screwed up your career?”
He nodded.
“Oh, Phineas.” Tears crowded her eyes once again. He’d destroyed his boxing career in order to bury his mother.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I tried getting a regular job, but it wasn’t enough to support everyone, especially when Aunt Ruth had to retire. She has diabetes really bad. I felt responsible for my younger brother and sister. I was the one who’d chased off their father. So I . . . I made another stupid mistake.”
“That’s when you sold drugs?”
“Please don’t ever tell my family. It would kill them. It . . . well, it did kill me. The Malcontents attacked and transformed me so they would have a drug connection.” He heaved a long sigh. “So now you know what a screwed-up, miserable excuse for a mortal I was. And why I didn’t want to tell you. You’ll probably hate me now.”
She blinked away the tears in her eyes. She could never hate him. “Why did you tell me, then?”
“Remember how I said I like you just the way you are? I guess . . . I want you to like me the way I am. And so—”
“You told me everything,” she finished his sentence. She’d been right. He was a survivor. Like her. He’d lost his mother like her. He’d tried to take care of his younger siblings like she had. All this time she’d thought they had nothing in common, when in truth they were very much alike. Their wounded souls were reaching out to each other.
And she was falling for him. A tear rolled down her cheek. God, no. She didn’t want to feel this strongly for him. Not when there was no future for them.
“I know you hate vampires, Brynley, but it’s really the best thing that ever happened to me. It gave me a second chance. I have a good job now, and I provide for my family. And I’m doing something important, helping to keep the world safe from Malcontents.”
She wiped her cheek. “You’re able to be a hero now?”
“I try to be. Angus and the other guys have given me some good examples to follow. I want to be . . . honorable like them.”
“Phineas.” She touched his cheek. “How can you be so dense?”
He blinked. “What?”
“You were always honorable.”
He scoffed. “I was a damned drug dealer.”
“You were a young man, desperate to take care of his family. You threw away a promising career to get the money to bury your mother. You were brave and selfless.” Another tear fell down her cheek. “You were always a hero.”
He regarded her with a stunned look. “You don’t think badly of me then?”
“I think you’re wonderful.” Desire swelled up inside her. She wanted him so bad. But she didn’t want to love him. It would hurt something awful if she lost him. And she would definitely lose him if her father and his minions found out about him.
Then don’t love him, her inner wolf whispered. Just screw him.
She drew in a sharp breath, and her inner wolf latched on to Phineas’s scent. Animal lust flooded her, overwhelming her womanly desire. Take him. You know you want him.
Her heart raced. She couldn’t do this. She was just distraught, and that always made her wolf aggressive. Give in to me. Trust the wolf. The wolf knows best.
Moisture seeped between her legs, and she stifled a groan. It would kill her if she got close to Phineas, only to lose him. Don’t think about the future. Take him now!
Phineas stiffened when she suddenly straddled his lap. “Brynley? What are you doing?”
Her hands trembled as they skimmed over his shoulders. “I have a sudden, insatiable hunger—”
“I brought you a hamburger—” He inhaled sharply when she popped the snaps open on his shirt. “What—”
“Oh my gosh.” She smoothed her hands under his shirt. “You were right. Your chest is pure, hard muscle.”
He gave her a dubious look. “What happened to last night’s ‘you’re so easy to resist’ strategy?”
“Why fight it? You want me. I want you.” She brushed her hand over his jaw, and the prickle of his whiskers made her all fluttery inside. Just like his voice did. “Say it for me.”
“Say what?”
He frowned. “I don’t know why women like that.”
“Don’t you know how sexy your voice is?” She skimmed her hand down his neck to his chest. “You’re sexy all over.” She leaned closer, pressing her hands against his chest. “Say it. Say the words.”
“Hello, ladies?”
“Yes!” More moisture pooled between her legs. Her inner wolf caught the scent of her arousal and clawed its way to the surface. Take him! She ripped open the rest of his shirt, then attacked the huge buffalo-shaped buckle on his belt. “Let’s do it!”
“But . . . we haven’t even kissed.”
“Oh.” She let go of his buckle. “Okay, then.” She lunged forward, planting her mouth on his.
“Wait,” he grumbled as she ground her mouth against his. He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back. “What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”
“What do you mean? You said you were attracted to me. And that you liked me. I saw your eyes turn red. That means you want sex.”
“Are they red now?”
“No, but they will be.” She nipped at his ear.
“Wait!” He pushed her back again. “Look, I sorta figured we’d take this slowly. You know, kiss a few times, and then make out before we . . . and I sure the hell thought I would be the one initiating it all.”
“Fine!” She glared at him. “Then go ahead. Initiate.”
“Are you ordering me to initiate?”
“I want sex, Phineas! Is that a crime? I want you, and my inner wolf wants you—”
“Your what?”
“My inner wolf.”
“Damn. Is that why you’re so aggressive?”
She huffed. “I can’t believe this. Are you going to analyze this to death? Let’s just have sex and get it over with!”
His eyes narrowed. “Get it over with?”
“Yes! That’s why we’re bickering all the time. ’Cause we’re hot for each other. So let’s get it out of our system—”
“So we can go back to our normal lives?”
“Why not?” She jabbed a finger at his chest. “Are you man enough to handle it?”
He grabbed her hand. “Stop and think about this. If your father finds out about us, he’ll disown you forever—”
“I don’t give a damn what my father thinks. He’s always treated me like shit!”
Phineas flinched. “That’s what’s going on, isn’t it? This is your way to get back at him. Screw the man he would most hate for you to screw.”
“Don’t make it so complicated! It’s simply lust.”
His jaw clenched. “Lust?”
“Don’t say it like it’s a dirty word. If you weren’t lusting for me, your eyes wouldn’t have turned red. I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with having a little bit of fun. No one would ever know—”
“You would keep our relationship secret?”
“Have a secret affair.”
“Yes.” She brushed her hair over her shoulder. “I guess you don’t understand. Werewolves are by nature lusty creatures. We never deny ourselves the pleasure whenever—”
“I’ll deny it.”
She blinked. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me. You’re not gettin’ any.”
Her mouth fell open. He was rejecting her? “Are you crazy? What man turns down sex?”
He moved her off his legs and onto the sleeping bag, then stood. “I’ll see you tomorrow night, Brynley. Get some sleep.”
“What?” She scrambled to her feet. “You can’t just leave.”
“Watch me.” He vanished.
Chapter Twelve
“Dammit! Dammit to hell!” Phineas strode across the grounds at Romatech where he’d materialized just seconds earlier. He was not in the mood to see anyone, so instead of going inside, he’d headed for the nearby woods.
“Shit!” He punched a tree trunk. The rough bark ripped at his knuckles, but he punched again. And again. “Let’s get it over with? Let’s keep it secret? It’s simply lust?” With one last bellow of outrage, he slammed his fist into the tree.
Damn, that hurt. He clenched his bloodied hands, relieved to have the pain torment him. Anything to keep him from feeling desire. Anything to keep him from teleporting back to Brynley. God, he was crazy. Brynley wanted him, and he’d refused her? You fool! Go back and make love to her.
“No!” It wasn’t love for her. It was lust. And a desperate, pathetic way to get back at her father. She’d admitted in a fit of anger that he’d treated her like shit. She thought dear old dad had used her like a pawn? She was doing the same damned thing to him.
“Shit!” He paced toward the basketball court. His hands throbbed so much he no longer felt the pain in his legs.
Dammit. Had he made a terrible mistake? What if rejecting her destroyed what little affection she had for him? What if he’d lost her for good?
“Phineas!” Freemont ran toward him. “What’s going on, bro?”
“Nothing.” He kept walking.
“Bullshit. I saw you on a monitor, beating the crap out of a tree.” Freemont caught up with him. “What happened?”
“Nothing. Go back to work.”
“What have you got against the tree? Did it look at you funny?”
Phineas ground his teeth. His brother’s attempt to cheer him up wasn’t working. “Go back inside.”
“You were here less than an hour ago,” Freemont continued. “Everything was cool. And now it’s not? Did you take the food to the wolfie-girl?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you were worried about her camping alone. You were going to hang out with her to protect her.”
“She’ll be fine,” Phineas gritted out. She had a shotgun and an inner wolf that was scary as hell.