Waiting on the Sidelines

His hands started to run up my leg, raising my skirt a little and roaming over my hip to the top of my dress. He moved his hand to the back of my dress to work down my zipper a little and then slowly slid his hand back to my skirt. This was making me nervous. I kept kissing him, but I was no longer lost in it. And when he reached for my underwear, I instinctively reached for his hand and pushed it away.

This made him stop instantly. Looking at me, he squinted his eyes a little. “Not OK?” he asked, almost offended.

I just shook my head no. “I’m not there yet, I’m sorry,” I smiled, embarrassed.

Tyler shrugged a little and started kissing me again as he did before. We continued to kiss for several minutes when his hand slowly found its way to the same spot and I scooted my body backwards and blocked him with my hand again. “Tyler, I said no,” I was more forceful now. And despite the small bit of alcohol flowing through me, I was now filled with adrenaline, too.

Tyler was still moving towards me, almost acting as if he didn’t hear me. I fought against him, pushing with my arms and legs as he tried to work his body over me. He was strong and the weight of him was growing more forceful and agitated. Panic was filling me and though I wanted to scream, I couldn’t seem to make a noise. I didn’t want anyone coming to my rescue, I wanted out of here on my own. I was mortified.

Without flinching, I brought my knee up swift and hard to his groin, leveling him into the fetal position so I could stand, grab my purse, straighten my dress, and get to the doorway.

I didn’t look back, but I heard him swear at me a little as I moved through the hallway. The music in the background was being drowned out by the heart beat pounding and the sound of blood flowing in my ears. I had no idea how I was going to get out of here, but I was going to.

No one noticed as I walked through the front door and then made my way to the street. I started to jog a little and realized my strappy heals were making it hard. I pulled them off and held them in my hand so I could run faster, my feet stinging from the cold of the sidewalk. When I made it to the gates, I jumped and waved, trying to trigger them to open. When they wouldn’t, I laid my body flat on the roadway and slid underneath, tearing the front of my dress a little and smudging my face with the oil from the blacktop.

I started running down the main roadway towards the more crowded neighborhoods. I made it a few blocks and then I thought I saw a car leave the gated community so I ducked into a side street and crouched behind someone’s landscaping. My hands were shaking so much it was hard to get the phone out of my tiny purse to dial. When Sean answered, I felt some of my panic finally release.

“Sean, please. I need your help,” I’m sure I sounded petrified.

“Nolan? What’s wrong? Where are you?” I heard the concern in his voice, and I couldn’t deny that I wanted him to be worried.

“Tyler. He tried…” I stopped. I didn’t know how to finish that, but I did know that things weren’t going in a safe direction when I left that house.

“Nolan, did he force you?” Sean sounded enraged.

“No, no! I left. I got away, but I need you to come get me, Sean. Please? I’m so sorry to ruin your night with Becky,” I was shaking more now, my voice cracking.

“We’ll both come, Noles. Where are you?” he asked; I heard Becky asking what was wrong, too.

“I’m in Chandler, but barely. I have an address. I’m just standing outside someone’s house,” I felt helpless. “It’s the corner of…” I looked up to see the street sign, “147th and Mountain View. Right down the road from Old Trail Estates, that’s where I was.”

“OK, stay there. If you get worried, call me. I’ll call you when I get close. And I’ll speed, Nolan!” Sean said.

I sat down on the curb, pulling my knees in and cradling my shoes in my lap. I squeezed my legs from the chill of the cold and rocked myself a little while I waited for Sean to arrive. He must have gone fast, because he made the 50 mile trek in less than 30 minutes. Becky called and was telling me to look for them when I recognized his truck as it turned down the road and I stood at the corner, waving.

When they pulled to the side of the road, Becky flung the door open and slid to the middle to make room for me. “Oh my god, thank you so much, Sean,” I shut the door and belted myself in, holding my frozen hands in front of his heater. Becky lifted herself up for a minute and pulled off her jacket, covering me with it a little.

“Nolan, your pretty dress,” she said, sadly.

I just looked down at it and shrugged, then started to laugh nervously. They remained silent, I think knowing that perhaps I was having a momentary bit of madness from the trauma. When I was able to calm myself again, the shaking started. Becky slid closer to me and put her arm around me, forcing me to lay my head on her shoulder.