Waiting on the Sidelines

“Ok,” was all I could muster.

He just looked at me with sympathy. I sucked in my lips, took a deep breath and then thanked him for the ride. I got out of the car and dug out my key to get inside. I was halfway up the drive when I heard Tyler’s window roll down and he called me back.

“Hey, what’s your number,” he said. I must have made a weird face because he added quickly “oh, I’m not hitting on you. That would be creepy. I just want to send you mine, just in case. If you need anything, ok?”

I smiled and then gave him my number. My phone buzzed with a text from him right away, so I knew I had his, too.

“I’m sorry tonight sucked, Nolan. But thank you for inviting me. I’m glad I was here,…for you,” he smiled softly, a little sympathy to it.

“Me, too,” I said. And I went inside and somehow found sleep.

16. Getting By

Monday’s shift was barely tolerable. Reed showed up late for work, so I didn’t have to see him at station assignments. When he did finally show up, he looked even more tired than he had the weeks before. I was sure he had slept through most of the weekend and had probably gotten sick the second Sean got him home.

I didn’t ask Sarah, Sienna or Sean about that night. I didn’t want to relive it any more than I already was every time I had a moment alone. And I didn’t want to hear anything that would make me feel bad for Reed.

He and Tatum were having a baby. The weight of that gave me a near heart attack. And the situation had turned Reed into this horrible, mean monster. I knew he was just attacking everything, trying to tear others down with him, just like his brother had always taught him to do. But the words he said to me couldn’t be forgiven. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through, knowing his future was over, the future he had wanted so badly for both himself and his father. Regardless, I had no part of that, and he had no right to cast any blame my way.

I spent my breaks with Tyler again, and he was back to distracting me and not mentioning Reed at all. I waited in the locker room until Penny told me the coast was clear. I gathered up my things and headed out to the parking lot. Tyler was still there pulling his diving suit and bag from his trunk when he stopped me.

“So…you made it,” he smiled softly.

“Yeah, uh…thanks for taking on the extra work. It helped,” I was honest. I don’t know what I would have done without Tyler’s distraction. “Thanks again.”

Before I got to my car, Tyler ran over and tapped on my trunk to get my attention. “Hey, didn’t mean to scare you,” he smiled. “Was just thinking…you maybe want to hang out for a bit while I dive then grab some dinner? Still not a date, I swear.”

Despite what he said, I got the impression it was still a date in his mind. But, honestly, the continued distraction sounded more inviting than the warning bells in my mind that told me not to jump into something so fast.

“OK, yeah…let me just call home and leave a message for my dad. He worries,” I smiled. Tyler grinned and gave me a wink before he headed back inside.

I promised my dad I’d be home by 7 guaranteeing I wouldn’t be out with Tyler too long. I sat on the bleachers and watched as he and a couple of other guys from his team stretched. The other two were good, but Tyler was just a hint better. His precision was shocking. His first dive was a little more plain, just a simple tuck and straight into the water. But the more he did, the more complex they seemed to get. Twists, rolls, backwards; each time he entered the water with such a small splash that if I wasn’t looking I would never know the massive movements that were made before he was submerged.

He was toweling off when he came over to sit by me when he was done. I clapped a little like he had done for my silly dance in the desert. “Very impressive,” I said, smiling, blushing a little when I noticed his hard muscles and very small suit.

“Thanks. I’ve been doing it since I was 8, so I hope I at least have some of those down now,” he said, raising one side of his mouth for a half grin. “I’m starving. You have time to eat?”

I looked at my watch. It was 6, but I could probably do something quick. “Maybe a quick bite. Sandwiches or something?” I asked.

“Sounds good. Meet you up front,” he said, backing away and heading for the locker room.

Penny was long gone, so I sat up front alone waiting for him. When Tyler came out, he was dressed in loose jeans, flip flops and a V-necked white T-shirt. His long blond curls were wet and wrestled in varied directions on his head. He looked like a model, but he still wasn’t for me. I was crazy, and I knew it.