Waiting on the Sidelines

I punched out for the day and told Penny to have a great night. She stopped me and said she’d walk out with me since her day was done, too.

She grabbed her purse, walked around the counter and we were on our way. Penny was extremely short, but she had a spirit and a certain look that warned people she could pack a mighty punch. She was digging for her keys in her purse as we were in the parking lot when she held out a piece of gum to me.

“Here, take one. Hot date tonight, I hear,” she winked.

“How’d you know?” I asked, taking the gum. I was grateful. I was nervous as it was, and the Doritos I had during my break were still hanging around a little in my breath.

“That fella of yours? Well, he sure does like you an awful lot,” she said, smiling as we started our walk again. I swooned a bit at her words, but had to ask.

“What do you mean,” I was curious.

“He got to work a little early today, so we had some time to chat. He was asking me for my opinion on some things he has planned for your date, said it was an important one,” she smiled and elbowed my side a little.

I grinned back. “Yeah, it’s our first official date. I sort of spent two years chasing him, you know,” I said, sort of wanting some credit, but I wasn’t sure what for.

“Well, you done caught him,” she said as she opened her door. “Have a good night tonight; and you tell me all about it tomorrow, ok?”

“You know it!” I said as she shut her door and buckled up.

I got to my car and threw my bag of wet clothes in the back. I figured I would just run everything through the drier later tonight to freshen things up.

I pulled out onto the main road and started right back where I left off with the singing. I wondered if my dad would be willing to help me save up for a newer stereo, one that I could program with my favorite songs and hook into my phone.

As I drove through the desert, my panic started to set in just a little more. I sat up tall to catch a glimpse of my face in the rearview mirror, scanning for pimples, stray eyebrow hairs (thankfully my eyebrow had grown back), bent lashes, anything that would make Reed run for the hills. I pulled the gum from my mouth, twisting it in a receipt that was in my cup holder, and smelled my breath about 20 times, worried that the Doritos were still lingering. Then I started to question my outfit, thinking that I should swing by my house first. I had nearly convinced myself to do just that when I realized I only had 10 minutes from the time I told Reed I would be at his house. I didn’t want to be late.

My stomach was swirling. I was starting to lose the feeling in my hands, so I started shaking them out one at a time. I couldn’t seem to get a full breath, and my eyes were watering at the edges a little from my fear. I was pretty sure I was having a panic attack. I stopped at the light in the center of Coolidge and waited for it to turn green, slightly thankful for this small pause in time. I actually started talking to myself.

“You are freaking out for nothing. This is nothing new. You have been out with Reed dozens of times. You have wanted this for so long. Now you are alone with him, and he wants you to be there. Deep breath, Nolan. Deep breath.”

My pep talk seemed to work as my fingers suddenly had feeling once again. As the light turned green, I pulled through the intersection slowly, driving through town to the outskirts and onto the long road that led to Reed’s house. I could see the tall trees in the distance, and all I could hear in my ears was the beating of my heart.

I turned down his driveway and took one last deep breath as I pulled through the tree-lined lane. I saw the back of his Jeep parked up ahead by the house. I was a little confused when I saw another car pulled up behind it. My head knew it was familiar, but something inside me was keeping the recognition out of the picture. I felt my head start to shake “no” before the realization fully hit me. I was nearly pulled up behind both vehicles when Reed and Tatum came into view. Reed’s back was to me, and he was holding Tatum tightly, stroking her hair.

I punched the brakes, and my car squeaked a little as I stopped. They both turned to look at me, still in an embrace. My face stung, and there was no stopping the tears that were already running down my cheeks, leaving hot red streaks in their wake. My hair had slung forward from my abrupt stop, and Reed’s eyes were drilling right into mine. His facial expression was ghostlike, and I barely made out the word ‘no’ as he shook his head and lunged towards me.

“No, no, no, no, no,” I screamed, rolling up my window, tears flowing full on now. Reed was walking quickly towards me with his hands waving, and his face pale white. I made the mistake of stealing a glance at Tatum, who was softly smiling, almost like she was sorry for me.