Vampire Mistress (Vampire Queen #5)

“You're already experiencing the transition cycles of adrenaline and lethargy, mixed with the occasional spurt of bloodlust or pain. As you progress over the next seventy-two hours, that cycle will get tighter and tighter. The bloodlust will happen more frequently. You'll think it's never going to end. When I get his blood, it should get easier. If it goes as it should, you'll be able to learn control, anticipate the rise and fall of the cycles. Since you already have a good grasp of what control is all about, I expect you'll handle yourself better than most.”

Daegan leaned forward, his hands clasped loosely between his spread knees, the duster pulling across his broad shoulders. While Anwyn didn't move, a shimmer of reaction went over her skin, something close to a quiver. Gideon's eyes narrowed, but she didn't move. She just gave the impression she wanted to move, badly. From the keen focus of Daegan's eyes, Gideon expected the vamp could see it as well, but he didn't back off. Instead, he stared into her shuttered gaze.

“This isn't going to be easy, Anwyn. It's going to be the hardest thing in your life you've ever faced, because you're going to have to completely trust the two of us. You're going to lose control of everything for a while. Your body, your mind. Those reactions are entirely chemical, beyond your ability to suppress them.”

“What happens if I don't take his blood?”

“That's not an issue.” His words took on an edge of steel Gideon could appreciate. “What I need you to focus on, Anwyn, is not giving up.” He reached out a hand.

She jerked her hands back before he made contact, an involuntary reaction that seemed to startle her, for she stared at her fingers as if they weren't a part of her. Daegan extended his hand farther, turned it so his knuckles were on her knee, his palm faceup. “Put your hand in mine, Anwyn,” he said quietly.

Gideon's attention sharpened. While the words weren't unkind, there was a firm note underlying them that made it clear Daegan Rei expected to be obeyed. Anwyn closed her eyes, her hand balling into a fist. The veneer was cracking, and it was painful to watch. “No. I can't. I don't want to be touched.”

“Yes, you do. You're just afraid of what's going on inside of you, and you think if you put on the right clothes, the right makeup, and exert that iron will of yours, you'll stop it from happening any other way than you want it to happen.” Daegan slid his hand up her knee, hooked the smallest finger of her clenched fist with his forefinger, tugged it loose and brought the rest of her hand into his clasp, leaving their joined hands resting high on her thigh.

Whatever their relationship, it was clear the vampire knew her to the core, and was refusing to let her withdraw from him. While Gideon would still be pleased to stake him, he couldn't deny the unwelcome relief to have him here now, using his knowledge of her personality to help keep her safe with them.

“As beautiful as you look,cher , I'd suggest you change into something you won't mind throwing away later. You're going to vomit on it, shred it, bleed on it.” With his other hand, Daegan touched her face, drawing her eyes to him. “Perhaps one of my shirts would be most comfortable to start. But don't be surprised that, as your temperature rises, you might resist having anything against your skin.” Jacob had avoided being entirely naked for the bloodlust cycle, though he'd been down to loose boxers when all was said and done. Even those had been plastered to him from the sweat his body produced.

She nodded. Her jaw was going to crack in a moment, she was holding it so rigidly. Daegan caressed it with a light finger. “This next is going to be hard for me to say to you,cher . But hear me out.” He shifted, glanced toward Gideon, then back at her pale, strained face. “Until we can get the sire's blood into you, and see how it does, we are going to need to restrain you, to keep you from harming yourself or others.”

Her reaction to that was immediate and decisive. “No.” She shook her head. “I won't. You'll be here. You can stop me.”

“I have to go retrieve the blood you need,” he reminded her. “You wouldn't want to hurt Gideon, would you? Or force him to put a stake through that beautiful breast of yours, right?” Her lashes had swept down, but now they flicked back up, red swirling in the iris like a shark's fin cutting the water. “Why don't you just force me? That's what you want anyway, what gets you hard.” Wrapped in the nastiness of the accusation was a hissing note that didn't belong to the face of the woman who said it. It gave Gideon a chill up his spine. A shudder went through her, and she was up and out of the chair, moving away from Daegan. “No. I'm not going to become this. I'm not.”

“Anwyn.” Gideon put a hand out as she passed him. “He knows—” He'd forgotten how quick even a new vampire could react. One moment his fingertips were grazing her upper arm, the next he was airborne, those deceptively small hands having latched onto him, yanked him forward and thrown him so that he arced over the sofa like a high-wire athlete. In that split second, he knew he and the coffee table were going to collide. It was a solid oak, so it would cheerfully crack a couple of his ribs.

Instead, he rolled over a pair of very strong arms that changed his trajectory. He landed with a bounce on the love seat. The impact knocked it over and sent him tumbling unscathed to the carpet on the other side. He rolled to his feet in one complete move, instinct pushing him to a fast recovery.

Shock gripped her features. She stared at her hands, then her gaze snapped up. “Gideon. I'm so sorry.” She looked as if she wanted to go to him, but instead, an intense quiver went through her limbs. “Oh my God.”

Daegan took a step toward her, drawing her attention. “You walk around freely,cher , trying to pretend this is not going to happen, and it will not be one of us you will hurt. It will be Madelyn, or James, or one of the others. Until you have this under control, you'd tear into your alley cats like they were an afternoon dessert prepared by your chef.”

His words were ruthless, though he spoke in a moderate tone. When he stepped to her, put his hands on her arms, she flinched, but didn't pull away. “You are a strong, intelligent woman, probably the smartest and strongest I know. If you truly want to take control, prove that nothing rules Anwyn Naime except Anwyn Naime. Until this has passed,choose to give us control, to protect you and others. Do that, and I swear to you, upon all that I am, all that I feel for you, that when you get through this, you will reclaim your life and take joy in it again.”

Gideon's feelings were mixed as he saw her stare up into Daegan's eyes. Whether she realized it or not, her fingers were clutched on his forearms now as he cradled her elbows. His reassurance was absolute, his authority filling the room like the warmth of a security blanket, a nothing's-going-to-get-past-me-to-hurt-you blanket. Except something had.

Anwyn closed her eyes. Despite himself, Gideon drew even closer. Even telling himself he was the outsider didn't keep him from putting his hand on her hair as Daegan continued to hold her arms. She opened her eyes, looked at Gideon. “I'm sorry.”

“As he said earlier, you don't have to apologize for anything to us. And some little girly toss over a couch isn't going to do much to my hard head.”

“Girly toss?” She summoned a weak smile. “You were headed straight for that table before Daegan caught you in his manly arms.” Before he could fashion a suitably gentle retort to that, she'd closed her eyes again. The broken sound of her voice was a wrenching contrast to her straight posture, the way her head remained high on her regal neck.

“I'm going to try very hard to let you do what you need to do, but this thing inside of me, and who I am .. . I'm pretty sure I won't be able to let you do it without a fight. I want you to gag me, Daegan, so I won't say terrible things to you both.”

“No,cher .” Daegan shook his head. “Whatever you need to say, we will bear it. I won't deny you any more than I have to. And,” he added when she would have argued, “as I said, you will be throwing up.

While you can no longer die from choking, it's not very pleasant to strangle on your own vomit.”

“All right.” She looked toward the wall. “Then I guess the easiest thing is to start with one of your old shirts. Something you don't mind losing. The playroom can be hosed down and”—she swallowed—“so can I, when you need to do it. Though I'd appreciate warm water and low pressure when it has to be done.”

The visual of hosing her down like a prison inmate was unacceptable to both of them. Daegan didn't even have to say it, because Gideon did it first. “I think we can figure out a better way than that.”

“Go to my room,cher .” Daegan tilted her chin up to him, giving her cheek a quick stroke, though she vibrated under his grasp as if she held back a vicious beast on a chain. “Pick out whatever you would like to wear. You are the only thing in my life I would mind losing.”

“The only possession?” Before Daegan could reply to the painful, caustic comment, she'd wrenched away and disappeared down that corridor.

Gideon let out a breath. Emotions had gathered around her as swiftly as an impending nuclear meltdown.

Daegan was right. This was going to suck. Maybe the vampire was prepared for it, but Gideon didn't think he could be so damn evenhanded about it.

Then Daegan glanced at Gideon. “Go with her,” he murmured. “Stay at a careful distance, but I think you will be fine. I will be listening, just in case.”

“Why me?” He was more than happy to be the one to stay close to her, but it was the first time Daegan had relinquished that honor, and Gideon didn't trust a vampire's generosity.

“Because you submitted to her last night. In her mind, that makes you less of a threat. Less of a threat is less likely to trigger what is moving through her blood.”

“I didn't submit to anyone. I chose to do everything I did with her. But I don't think that's the real problem here. You've wanted her to submit to you before and she never has. Now you're in the perfect position to take that upper hand you've always wanted with her. And she knows it.” Daegan's gaze snapped to him. In those depths Gideon saw something that made him wish he already had a crossbow pointed at the vamp, no matter how fast he was. But the vampire did not move, merely gathered that eerie stillness around him that seemed to reflect a desire for violence or other extreme emotion.