Until Trevor

“We’re having a girl?”

“You’re having a girl,” the doctor confirms, smiling.

“Holy shit.” Trevor stands, looking closely at the monitor. “You’re sure?” he asks the doctor.

“Well, I’m not really supposed to say it, but yes, I’m sure.” Dr. Spark laughs, looking between the two of us. “Let me just get you cleaned up. Everything looks great. When you’re done getting dressed, just set up your next appointment at the front desk,” he says, leaving the room. I sit up, pulling the robe off and tossing it in the garbage. I pick up my sweats off the chair, pulling them on, then sit and start to put on my shoes. That’s when I notice that Trevor has been quiet this whole time.

“Are you okay?” I step towards him. When he is able to reach me, he wraps his arms around my waist, kissing my small bump. I run my fingers over his head.

“I thought I would be afraid if he said we were having a girl, but I’m really fucking happy about it.”

“I wanted a boy,” I tell him.

“You did?”

“I did. I wanted a boy that looked like you.”

“You never said anything.”

“Well, I knew that I would be happy with whatever we have.”

“My daughter is in here.” He lifts my tank, his hands spanning my waist.

“She is.”

“That’s fucking crazy.” He smiles up at me, before kissing my belly. “Let’s get my girls home.”

“Can we stop for ice-cream?”

“Anything you want.”

“Anything?”

“Absolutely anything.”

4 months later

Trevor

“Breathe, babe. Breathe.” I pull Liz back into me, wrapping myself around her. “You can do this, baby. Just breathe.”

“I can’t…I can’t do this anymore!” she cries. I fucking hate this. We have been here for the last thirty-three hours. She’s just now dilated to nine centimeters, and my baby is exhausted. She hasn’t really slept since her water broke.

“You can do this.”

“I don’t think I can.” She falls back into me when the contraction passes.

“Alright, hun. I’m gonna check ya and see where you’re at so I know if it’s time to call the doctor,” the older nurse says, lifting the sheet at the end of the bed. After a second, her eyes meet mine, then Liz’s. “I do believe it’s time.”

“Thank you,” Liz says, her sweaty face going into my neck. “I’m so tired.”

“As soon as this is over, you can sleep. I promise.”

“Okay.” She says softly. The doctor walks in and sits down at the end of the bed.

“Are you ready for this, Liz?” Dr. Spark asks. I get off the bed from behind her, taking one of her hands. Once everyone is in position, we begin the whole process of pushing. Rita and my mom are on the opposite side of the bed from me. Liz’s mom and I each have one of Liz’s legs, holding them up to her chest. The doctor is instructing her when to push. Liz bends forward, her face red and sweaty, looking more beautiful than I have ever seen her. I bend forward, whispering encouragements into her ear, and telling her how much I love her. When I hear a very loud cry, and look down and see my daughter, she’s covered in blood and slime. Tears come to my eyes, watching her take her first breath. Someone wraps her in a blanket before setting her on Liz’s chest.

“You did so amazing, baby.” I look down at both my girls…my life.

“She’s so tiny, so perfect,” Liz whispers, looking at her little fingers. I run my hand along hers, and she latches on to me, her tiny hand gripping my finger firmly.

“I love you, baby girl,” I say, leaning in and kissing her blanket covered head, before turning to kiss my wife. “So, are we sticking with Hanna?” I ask, running my finger down her smooth little cheek.

“Yes, I think Hanna fits her perfectly. Don’t you?”

“Hanna Star Mayson.” I smile, kissing them both again.

“Okay, Mommy and Daddy. We need to take her and get her cleaned up,” the nurse says, and I feel torn between staying with Liz, and going with Hanna.

“Can you stay with her?” Liz asks, holding Hanna a little closer against her chest, not wanting to give her up. I’m looking between my two girls when her mom steps forward.

“I’ll stay with Liz, honey. You go with your daughter.”

“Thanks.” I lean in, kissing Liz again, before holding her face in my hands. “Thank you, baby; you did so good.” Tears start to slide down her cheeks. Such a drastic contrast from the smile that is lighting up her face.

“We did good,” she says, kissing Hanna’s head before handing her over to the nurse. I follow Hanna over to the other side of the room, and watch as they unwrap her from the blanket, making her cry immediately. My jaw clenches at the sound, knowing that I have to let them take care of her and there is nothing I can do about her crying until they’re done. I look over and see my mom smiling at me; she mouths the words I love you and I close my eyes. I have everything I have ever wanted.

It’s been two days since Hanna was born. Two of the most amazing days of my life. Liz is doing great, and regardless of her previous reservations about having a child, she is the most amazing, attentive, and loving mom to our daughter. I look over at Liz, who is asleep. Hanna is laying against my chest, asleep as well. Both of my girls have had a long day, getting released from the hospital, coming home to family wanting to see Hanna and check on Liz, then the blow up between Jules and Cash that had to go down in my living room on the day we got home. It upset not only Liz and Hanna, but Cash and Jules’ son Jax, and November and Asher’s three girls July, May, and June. I swear my brother is trying to make a full calendar. I have no idea what Cash is going to do, but I know one thing for sure, Jules is a bitch; and if my brother stays with her ass, I’m going to have to limit the time we spend with them.

“You’re awake?” Liz asks, leaning up on her elbow.

“Yeah, she just knocked out, so we came to lay down with you. How are you feeling?”

“Sore and a little tired, but good. What time is it?” I turn my head and look at the clock.

“Just after four.”

“It’s almost time for her to eat again,” she says, making me smile. I love watching her feed our daughter.

“Relax, baby. When she wakes up, she can eat. Right now, she’s asleep. Didn’t the doctor tell you that when she sleeps, so should you?”

“I know. You’re right. But I love holding her.” She laughs, lying back down. “God, she’s going to be as bad as July if we’re not careful.”

“Baby, I want you to sleep. If she needs you, I will wake you up.”

“Fine.” She scoots next to me, tucking her face into my side, where I wrap my arm around her, holding her close. “Sleep,” I whisper into the top of her head. After a few minutes, her breathing evens out, and I know that she is finally asleep. With both my girls close, I say a small prayer of thanks for all of this.

One year later

Liz

“Trevor, if you don’t stop, you’re going to wake Hanna.” I bite my lip to keep from crying out.

“No, you’re going to wake Hanna.” He smirks, his fingers sliding inside me. “Be quiet, baby.”

“How can I be quiet when you’re doing that?” I breathe, seconds away from coming. “Oh my God! Right there, yesss…” I moan, my head falling back against the mattress. I can feel myself convulse, my orgasm taking over. My back bows, my thighs shake, and my vision goes blurry. When he doesn’t let up, I try to scoot up the bed away from his touch.

“Don’t run away from me.” He pulls me down under him, thrusting into me in one smooth motion.

“God!” I rake my hands down his back, the heels of my feet going to the back of his thighs.

“Da-da… Da-da…” I hear through the baby monitor. I bite my lip, and Trevor’s forehead falls against my collarbone. Groaning, he lifts his face. “Da-da…” Hanna sings again, making me laugh and him glare at me.

“What? You bragged for a week about her learning to say da-da before ma–ma,” I say, shrugging.

“You think this is funny?” He rolls his hips, making my breath catch.

“No,” I say, rocking my hips against his.

“You’re gonna get it.” He presses me harder into the mattress. “As soon as she’s down this afternoon, be ready, baby.”

“DA… DA DA DA…” Hanna starts singing, louder this time. Trevor jumps off the bed, his firm ass on full display. He bends, grabs his sweats, and pulls them up, walking into the bathroom. When he comes out, he walks over to the bed, pulling me to the edge. His kiss is so hard that my lips feel bruised when he finally takes his mouth away. I watch as he walks out of the room, the muscles of his back flexing with every step. I fall back against the mattress and listen to him as he talks to Hanna. He is such an amazing father. One-hundred-and-ten percent hands on. There is nothing better than watching him with her, and I’m so happy that I got the help. I needed to give that to him.

“We’re ready for breakfast, Mama,” Trevor says, standing in the bedroom door. Hanna’s sitting on his hip, her hand in her mouth, her head lying against her father’s shoulder, watching me.

“Hey, sweet baby.” I watch her head come up, and she holds out her arms in my direction for me to take her. I lean forward, grabbing Trevor’s shirt from the end of the bed, slipping it on over my head, before swinging my legs over the side, and holding out my arms to take my sweet girl. When I finally have her, she cuddles into me. There is nothing better than moments like this, when she wants to cuddle and be lovey. Now that she has started holding onto things and walking, those times are becoming fewer and fewer, unless she’s sleepy or not feeling well.

“Looks like I’m making my girls breakfast this morning.” He leans forward, kissing Hanna’s and my forehead, before heading out of the room.

“Let’s go monitor Daddy. You know what happens when he’s left alone in the kitchen making anything besides a protein shake.” Hanna laughs, babbling da-da. “You think that’s funny?” I lift her, blowing on her soft belly, making her laugh harder as we walk down the hall. Once we reach the kitchen, I see that Trevor has already started making a mess. There’s milk, eggs, and a box of pancake mix out on the counter. “Why don’t you take her, and I will make breakfast.”

“You sure, baby? I don’t mind cooking.”

“Yeah, she wants you anyways.” I hand Hanna over, kissing her all over her face, making her fuss. I love my man, and appreciate when he cooks, but he is seriously messy. It’s easier if I cook and clean as I go. I go about making breakfast, while Trevor pulls out Hanna’s walker, setting her in it so she can roam around the kitchen and living room. He puts a few Cheerios on her tray; she doesn’t eat them, but does feed them to Lolly whenever she is within reaching distance. Every time she gives Lolly a Cheerio, she laughs, pulling her hand back quickly, not sure if she likes the feeling of Lolly’s tongue.