Untamed

Again I listened to my instincts, and instead of sending away my concealing spirit right outside the Council Room, I moved quickly down the hall, retracing my path until I was at the bottom of the stairs. Then I lifted the concealment, thanking spirit, and started back up the stairs completely visible and telling myself, Be calm . . . be normal . . . Neferet is a liar and Shekinah is very, very wise . . .

Outside the Council Chamber, I paused to knock twice on the door.

"You may come in, Zoey!" Shekinah called.

I tried not to wonder if she'd known I'd been outside before. Putting a smile on my face, I entered the room. I fisted my hand over my heart and bowed respectfully. "Merry meet, Shekinah."

"Merry meet, Zoey Redbird," she said. I didn't notice any weirdness in her voice. "So, how was your visit with the ladies at Street Cats?"

I grinned. "Did you know that Street Cats is run by Benedictine nuns?"

She smiled back at me. "I did not, though I did expect the charity to be run by women. Women have long had a strong connection with cats. Were the good sisters open to your volunteer work?"

"Definitely. They were really nice. Oh, and Aphrodite adopted a cat while we were there, although Maleficent adopting Aphrodite is probably a more accurate way to describe what happened."

"Maleficent? What an unusual name."

"Yeah, but it fits her. All that noise that's happening out there." I jerked my head back in the direction of the hallway and the front of the school. We both listened and could still hear dog barking, cat yowling, and kid shouting. "I think you'll find out that all of that was instigated by Maleficent."

"So what you're saying is the nuns have double cause to thank you. For your volunteerism and for helping them rid themselves of one very difficult feline?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Oh, and Sister Mary Angela asked me to check with you about a date that would work well for the flea market. She said she'd work their schedule around ours. Besides that, they're going to stay open late every Saturday night so that we can volunteer once a week."

"That sounds lovely. I will meet with Neferet about a date that works best for the school." Shekinah paused for a moment, and then added, "Zoey, Neferet is your mentor, isn't she?"

I heard warning bells inside my head, but I forced myself to relax. I was going to answer Shekinah as honestly as I could in everything she asked me. I hadn't done anything wrong!

"Yes. Neferet is my mentor." "And do you feel close to Neferet?"

"I used to. We were very close when I first came here. Actually, my mom and I haven't been close for several years, and I kinda felt like Neferet was the mom I wish I'd had," I said truthfully.

"But that has changed?" she asked gently.

"Yes," I said.

"And why is that?"

I hesitated, choosing my words very carefully. I wanted to tell Shekinah as much of the truth as I dared, and for an instant I considered telling her everything--the whole truth about Stevie Rae and the prophecy and what we were afraid was happening, but my gut told me not to reveal everything now. Shekinah would learn the truth tomorrow. Until then, I didn't want Neferet to have any inkling about what was going to happen--about the fact that she was going to have to face what she had done, and what she was becoming.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure," I said.

"What is your best guess?"

"Well, I think she's changed lately, and I'm not sure why. Some of it might have to do with some personal stuff that happened between us. I'd really rather not talk about that, if it's okay with you."

"Of course. I understand your need to keep things that are private to yourself. But, Zoey, you should know that I am here for you to talk with if you need me. Though it was long ago, I remember very well what it was to be a powerful fledgling and to feel like I was carrying so many responsibilities that the burden of them sometimes became too much to bear."

"Yeah," I said, suddenly having to fight back tears. "That's exactly what it feels like sometimes."

Her candid gaze was warm and kind. "It gets better. I can promise you that."

"I really hope so," I said. "Oh, and speaking of making things better--my grandma would like to come for a little visit. She and I are really close. I meant to spend some of winter break with her, but, well, you know that break was called off. So Grandma said she'd like to come here to spend some time with me. Do you think it would be okay if she stayed at the school?"

Shekinah studied me carefully. "There are guest rooms in the professors' building, but I believe they are all filled right now because of my visit and the influx of the Sons of Erebus."

"Could she maybe stay in my room with me? My roommate, Stevie Rae, died last month, and I haven't gotten a new one, so I have an empty bed and everything."

"I suppose I don't see any harm in that. If your grandmother is comfortable with being surrounded by so many fledglings."

I grinned. "Grandma likes kids. Plus, she knows a bunch of my friends here, and they all like her."

"Then I'll let the Sons of Erebus, as well as Neferet, know that you have permission for your grandmother to visit and to stay in your room. Zoey, you know that asking for special favors is not always wise, even if you have special abilities."

I met Shekinah's gaze steadily. "This is the first favor I have asked for since I came to the House of Night." Then I thought about it for a second and corrected myself. "No, wait. It's the second. The first favor I asked for was to keep a few of my roommate's things after she died."

Shekinah nodded slowly, and I hoped as hard as I could that she believed me. I wanted to yell: Check it out with the other professors! They know I don't ask for special treatment! But I couldn't say anything to let Shekinah believe that I'd overheard her conversation with Neferet.

"Well, good. Then you're already starting down the right road. Gifts from our Goddess don't mean privilege--they mean responsibility."

"I understand that," I said firmly.

"I think maybe you do," she said. "Now, I'm sure you have homework to catch up on and a ritual to prepare to lead tomorrow, so I will bid you a good night and hope that you will blessed be," she said.

"Blessed be." I saluted her formally again, bowed, and left the room.

Things really hadn't gone so bad. Sure, Neferet was lying her butt off about me and was clearly an evil-filled bitch, but I'd already known that. Shekinah wasn't stupid, and she certainly wouldn't be made into Neferet's fool (like Loren had been, my mind whispered). Grandma was on her way to the school, and she was going to stay with me while we figured out this whole prophecy thing. My friends finally knew everything, so I didn't have to constantly make excuses and evade them, and they had my back, even though just thinking about the Raven Mockers creeped me totally out. But I could handle the creeping-out part with my friends by my side. And tomorrow everyone would know about Stevie Rae and the red fledglings, and Neferet would lose the power of secrecy. Then maybe Stark wouldn't really be dead, and would come back himself. Things really were looking up! I was just opening the door to the front of the building and grinning like a fool when I ran smack into Erik.

"Oh, sorry I wasn't looking--," he began, automatically reaching out to steady me before he realized who he'd almost knocked over. "Oh," he repeated, this time in a much less nice-guy voice. "It's you."

I pulled my arm out of his hand and stepped back, brushing my hair from my face. Looking up into his cold blue eyes was like taking a nosepe into freezing water--and I'd just about had enough cold water splashed in my face by him.

"Look, I have something to say to you." I moved in front of him, blocking his way into the building.

"So say it."

"You liked kissing me today. You liked it a lot."

His smile was mocking and very well rehearsed. "Yeah, so? I never said I didn't like kissing you. The problem is too many guys have liked kissing you."

I felt my face go hot. "Don't you dare talk to me like that!"

"Why not? It's true. You were kissing your human boyfriend. You were kissing me. And you were kissing Blake. As far as I'm concerned, that's a lot of guys."

"Since when you do turn into such a jerk? You knew about Heath. I never tried to hide him from you. You knew it was hard for me being Imprinted with him and caring about you at the same time."

"Yeah, what about Blake? Explain that."

"Loren was a mistake!" I yelled, finally tipping over that line of self-control. I was tired of Erik judging me for something I'd beaten myself up about more times than I could count. You were right. He was using me. Only it wasn't for sex--that was just the way he got me to believe he loved me. You overheard the scene between Neferet and me. You know there's more going on here than everyone thinks. Neferet sent Loren, her lover, to seduce me--to make me believe he loved me because I'm special." I paused, wiping angrily at the tears that were somehow falling out of my eyes. "But really he was after me so that I could piss off all my friends and be alone and hurt and distracted so my powers didn't mean anything anymore. And it would have worked if Aphrodite hadn't stood by me. You sure as hell didn't take one second to give me a chance to explain."

Erik ran his hand through his thick dark hair. "I saw him making love to you."

"You know what you saw, Erik? You saw him using me. You saw me making the biggest mistake of my life. At least so far. That's what you saw."

"You hurt me," he said softly, all the anger and jerkness going out of his voice.

"I know and I'm sorry. But I guess we didn't have much together in the first place if we can't learn to forgive each other for this mess."

"You think you need to forgive me?"

He was starting to look like a jerk again. I'd definitely had enough of the jerk Erik. My eyes narrowed and I snapped, "Yeah! I need to forgive you. You said you cared about me, but you've called me a slut. You've embarrassed me in front of my friends. You've embarrassed me in front of a class of kids. And you did all of that because you had only part of the story, Erik! So, yeah, you're not totally spotless in this whole thing either!"

Erik blinked in surprise at my outburst. "I didn't know I had only part of the story."

"Maybe next time you should think before you vent without knowing the full story."

"So you hate me now?" he said.

"No. I don't hate you. I miss you."

We stared at each other, neither of us knowing where to go from there.

"I miss you, too," he finally said.

My heart made a little skip-beat.

"Maybe we could talk again," I said. "I mean, without the yelling part."

He looked at me for a long, long time. I tried to read his eyes, but they just reflected back at me my own confusion.

My phone rang, and I pulled it out of my pocket. It was Grandma. "Oh, sorry. It's my grandma," I told Erik. Then I flipped the cell open. "Hi, Grandma, are you here?" I nodded as she told me she'd just pulled into the parking lot. "Okay, I'll meet you there in just a few minutes. Can't wait to see you! Bye!"

"Your grandma's here?" Erik asked.

"Yeah." I was still smiling. "She's come to stay for a little while. You know, what with the whole winter break being cut short and all."

"Oh, yeah. That makes sense. Okay, well, I guess I'll see you around."

"Uh, want to walk with me to the parking lot? Grandma said she was going to pack a little something, which means she probably brought one ginormic bag or ten little ones, and she could definitely use a grown vamp to carry them for her, what with me being just a little fledgling." I held my breath, thinking I'd messed up (again) and gone too far too soon with him. And, sure enough, the guarded look was back in his eyes.

It was exactly then that a vamp in the Sons of Erebus uniform came out of the door behind me.

"Excuse me," Erik said to him. "This is Zoey Redbird. A guest of hers has just arrived. Are you available to help bring in her luggage?"

The warrior saluted me respectfully. "I am Stephan, and it is my pleasure to aid you, young Priestess."

I made myself smile and say thanks. Then I looked at Erik. "So, I'll see you later?" I said.

"Of course. You're taking my class." He saluted me and then went into the building.

The parking lot was just a short way around the side of the main building. So, thankfully, I didn't have much walking with the warrior in uncomfortable silence to endure. Grandma waved to me from the middle of the very crowded parking lot. I waved back, and Stephan and I headed toward her.

"Wow, there are a ton of vamps here," I said, looking at all the unfamiliar cars.

"Many Sons of Erebus have been called to this House of Night," Stephan said.

I nodded thoughtfully.

I could feel his eyes on me. "Priestess, you need not fear for your safety," he said with quiet authority.

I smiled at him and thought, If only you knew, but I didn't say anything.

"Zoey! Oh, honey! Here you are." Grandma enveloped me in her arms, and I hugged her hard, breathing in the familiar scent of lavender and home.

"Grandma, I'm so glad you're here!"

"So am I, honey. So am I." She squeezed me tight.

Stephan bowed respectfully to Grandma before he gathered up her mound of luggage.

"Grandma, are you planning on staying a year?" I asked, throwing a laughing look over my shoulder at her bulging luggage.

"Well, honey, one must always be prepared for all contingencies." Grandma Redbird wrapped her arm though mine, and we started back toward the sidewalk that would lead to the girls' dorm, with Stephan following behind us.

Soon she tilted her head close to mine and whispered, "The school is completely surrounded."

I felt a sizzle of fear. "By what?"

"Ravens." She said the word as if it left a nasty taste in her mouth. "They're all around the grounds, but none are actually inside the boundary of the school's wall."

"That's because I blew them out of here," I said.

"Did you?" she whispered. "Well done, Zoeybird!"

"They scare me, Grandma," I whispered back. "I think they're getting their bodies back."

"I know, honey. I know."

Shivering, we held tightly to each other as we hurried to my room. The night seemed to watch us go.