Untamed

Our big hug was broken up by an annoying waterfall of Aphrodite giggles tumbling down the hall from the cat room to us. Stevie Rae and I rolled our eyes together.

"What did you say she was doin' back there, and with who?"

I sighed. "We were only allowed to leave campus with an escort from the Sons of Erebus, so this warrior named Darius--"

"He must be hot if Aphrodite is makin' such a fuss over him."

"Yeah, he's definitely hot. Anyway, Darius said he'd escort me and Aphrodite. She said she'd keep him busy so that we could talk."

"Bet that's a real hardship for her," Stevie Rae said sarcastically.

"Please--we all know she's kinda skanky," I said.

"Kinda?"

"I'm trying to be nice," I said.

"Oh, right. Okay. Me, too. So she's keeping this hot warrior busy so me and you can talk."

"Yeah, and--"

Two more raps on the window had Stevie Rae and me looking up at Sister Mary Angela, who said, "Less talk--more work!" loud enough for us to hear her through the glass.

Stevie Rae and I nodded briskly like we were scared of her. (Uh, who isn't scared of nuns?)

"You go through the box and pull out all of those little grayand-pink polka-dotted mice--the ones stuffed with catnip--and hand them to me. I'll keep clicking them into the inventory thing," I said, holding up the weird gun-looking apparatus the nun had taught me how to work. "We'll talk while I count cat toys."

"Okey-dokey." Stevie Rae began pawing through the big brown UPS box.

"So what were you saying about some news?" I asked, clicking off the mice she handed me like I was a shooter at one of those back-in-the-day arcade games.

"Oh, yeah! You will not believe it! Kenny Chesney is comin' in concert to the new BOK Arena!"

I looked at her. And looked at her some more. And then some more. Without saying anything.

"What? Ya know I love me some Kenny Chesney."

"Stevie Rae," I finally managed. "With all of the crap going on, I do not know how you can take time to obsess about one country music dork."

"You take that back, Z. He is so not a dork."

"Fine. I take it back. You're the dork." "Fine," she said. "But when I figure out how to get Internet access down in the tunnels so I can get tickets online, do not ask me to get one for you."

I shook me head at her. "Computers? Down in the tunnels?"

"Nuns? At Street Cats?" she countered with.

I took a deep breath. "Okay, point made. Stuff is very weird right now. Let's start over. How have you been? I've missed you."

Stevie Rae's frown was instantly replaced by her dimpled grin. "I've been just fine. How 'bout you? Oh, and I've missed the heck outta you, too."

"I've been confused and stressed," I said. "Hand me some of those purple feather toys. I think we're all done with the gray-and-pink mice."

"Well, there're lots of purple feathers, so we're set for a while." She started handing me the long freaky-looking toys. (I definitely wasn't going to get one of those for Nala--she'd probably blow up like a big puffer fish at it.) "So, what kind of confusion and stress? The normal stuff or new-and-improved stress stuff?"

"New and improved, of course." I met Stevie Rae's eyes and, keeping my voice really low, said, "Last night a fledgling named Stark died in my arms." I paused while Stevie Rae flinched, as if what I'd just said had hurt her physically. But I had to continue. "Do you have any idea if he'll come back?"

Stevie Rae didn't say anything for a while, and I let her get her thoughts together while she handed me cat toys. Finally she looked up and met my eyes again. "I wish I could tell you that he was going to come back--that he was going to be okay. But I just don't know."

"How long does it take to know?"

She shook her head, looking really frustrated now. "I don't know! I can't remember. Back then, days didn't mean anything to me."

"What do you remember?" I asked gently.

"I remember waking up and I was hungry--so hungry, Zoey. It was terrible. I had to have blood. She was there, and she gave it to me." Stevie Rae grimaced with the memory. "From her. I fed from her first thing when I woke up."

"Neferet?" I whispered the name.

Stevie Rae nodded.

"Where were you?"

"In that terrible morgue room. You know, it's off from the side of the school by the south wall and the pine trees there. It has the cremation thing in it."

I shuddered. I did know about the cremation thing. All the kids knew about it. That's supposedly where Stevie Rae's body had gone.

"Then what happened? I mean, after you fed?"

"She took me to the tunnels and the rest of the kids. She used to visit us a lot. Sometimes she'd even bring street people for us to eat." Stevie Rae looked away, but not before I saw the pain and guilt that filled her eyes. She was such a sweet soul--such a good girl--remembering how it was when she had been losing her humanity must be awful for her. "It's hard for me to think about it, Zoey. And it's even harder for me to talk about it."

"I know, I'm sorry, but this is important. I have to know what will happen if Stark comes back." Stevie Rae looked me square in the eyes, and suddenly her voice was that of a stranger. "I don't know what will happen. Sometimes I don't even know what will happen to me."

"But you're different now. You're Changed."

Her expression shifted, and I saw anger in Stevie Rae's eyes. "Yeah, I've Changed, but it's not as simple as what happens to regular vamps. I still have to choose my humanity, and sometimes that choice isn't as black-and-white as you'd think it would be." Her gaze sharpened. "You said the dead kid's name was Stark? I don't remember anyone with that name."

"He was new. He'd just transferred from the House of Night in Chicago."

"What was he like before he died?"

"Stark was a good guy," I said automatically, and then I paused, realizing that I hadn't really known what kind of a guy he was, and for the first time I wondered if maybe the attraction I'd felt for him had tainted how I saw him. He had admitted to killing his mentor--how could I have overlooked that so easily?

"Zoey? What is it?"

"I was starting to like him. Really like him, but I didn't know him very well," I finally said, suddenly reluctant to tell Stevie Rae everything about Stark.

Her expression softened, and she looked like my BFF again. "If you care about him, you're going to have to get to the morgue and get him out of there. Keep him somewhere for a few days, and see if he comes back. And if he does, he's going to be hungry and probably a little crazy when he wakes up. You'll have to feed him, Zoey."

I passed a shaky hand over my forehead, wiping my hair from my face. "Okay . . . okay . . . I'll figure it out. I'll just have to figure it out."

"If he does wake up, bring him to me. He can stay with us," Stevie Rae said.

"Okay," I repeated, feeling utterly overwhelmed. "There's just so much stuff going on at the House of Night right now. It's different than it was before."

"Different like how? Tell me, and maybe I can help you figure this out."

"Well, for one thing, Shekinah showed up at the House of Night."

"That name sounds familiar. Like she's a big deal or somethin'."

"She's a major big deal, as in the leader of all vamp High Priestesses. And she pretty much told Neferet right in front of the Council."

"Dang, wish I could have seen that."

"Yeah, it was great, but kinda scary, too. I mean, if Shekinah has enough power to put Neferet in her place--well, that's just plain scary."

Stevie Rae nodded. "So what did Shekinah say?"

"You know Neferet had closed the school, even though she called off winter break and made everyone come back."

"Yeah." Stevie Rae nodded again.

"Shekinah reopened the school." I leaned closer to Stevie Rae and lowered my already mostly whispery voice before I continued. "And she called off the war."

"Ooooh! I know that pissed off Neferet," Stevie Rae whispered back.

"Absolutely. Shekinah seems okay, or at least as far as I can tell. But see what I mean about her being scarily powerful?"

"Yeah, but it also looks like you might have someone on your side who is actually a bigger deal than Neferet. She did stop the war, which is a good thing." "It is a good thing, but Shekinah also wants to have a major cleansing ritual performed for the school. I'm performing the ritual. Me with my group of uber-gifted fledglings. You know: the Twins, water and fire--Damien, who is Mr. Air--and, to top it all off, Aphrodite embodying earth, of course."

"Uh-oh," Stevie Rae said. "Uhm, Z, does Aphrodite have any affinity with earth anymore?"

"Absolutely none," I said.

"Can she fake it?"

"Absolutely not."

"She tried?"

"Yep. The green candle zaps her and flies out of her hand. She's not just minus earth, she's minus earth squared."

"That is a problem," Stevie Rae agreed.

"Yep. A problem I'm sure Neferet will somehow twist into having happened because there's something wrong with me. Or worse, something wrong with Aphrodite, Damien, and the Twins."

"Dang, that sucks. I really wish I could help." Then she brightened. "Hey! Maybe I can! What if I sneak into the ritual and hide behind Aphrodite? I'll bet if you focus on me when you call earth, and I focus on earth at the same time, the candle will light and everything will look practically normal."

I opened my mouth to say thanks but no thanks--it'd be too easy for her to get caught and then for everyone to find out about her. But then I closed my mouth. Just exactly what would be so wrong about Stevie Rae being found out? Not caught hiding and sneakily being part of a ritual, of course, but just found out. The warm, familiar feeling inside me told me I just might be flailing down the right path (for a change).

"Something like that might just work."

"Really? You want to hide me? Okey-dokey, just tell me when and where."

"What if we didn't hide you? What if we outed you instead?"

"Zoey, I love Damien and all, but I'm really not gay. I mean, I haven't had an official boyfriend in a really long time, but I still get kinda warm and tingly when I think about how cute Drew Partain is. Do you remember how he was likin' me before I got all dead and crazy?"

"Okay, first--yes. I remember that Drew liked you. Second, you're not dead and crazy anymore, so he would probably still like you--that is if he knew you were alive. Which brings me to my third point: When I said we should out you, I didn't mean as in you being gay. I meant as in you being you." I made a little figure flutter toward the colored-in scarlet tattoos on her face that she'd carefully concealed before going out in public.

Stevie Rae gaped at me for a little while, looking seriously shocked. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded choked. "But they can't know about me."

"Why not?" I asked calmly.

"Because if they find out about me, they'll find out about the others."

"So?"

"That would be bad," she said.

"Why?"

"Zoey. Like I said before, they're not normal fledglings." "Stevie Rae, what difference does that make?"

She blinked at me. "You don't understand. They're not normal, and I'm not normal."

I looked at her for a long time, considering what I knew--that Stevie Rae had been given back her humanity, and what I half suspected but didn't want to admit--that even though she had her humanity back, she still had dark places within herself that I couldn't understand.

I knew I had to make a decision. I either trusted her, or I didn't. And when it came right down to it, that was really an easy decision to make.

"I know you're not exactly like you used to be, but I trust you. I believe in your humanity, and I always will."

Stevie Rae looked like she might cry. "Are you sure?"

"Totally."

She drew a deep breath. "Okay, then what's your plan?"

"Well, I haven't really thought this through, but it seems to me that the vamps and fledglings should know about you and the rest of the others, especially now that another fledgling has died. We don't know everything we wish we did about you, but we are pretty sure that Neferet somehow created you guys, or at least opened some kind of weird door so you could be created, right?"

"I think so. The truth is, I still worry that the fledglings might be able to be controlled, or at least influenced by her, even though they are different now and she's been leaving us alone."

"So doesn't it make sense that it's bad that Neferet is the only adult vamp who knows about you guys? Especially if she can still have some kind of control over you? Especially now that there might be a new red fledgling getting ready to wake up?" And then another thought hit me. "Stark had a special gift. He never missed what he aimed at with his bow and arrows. I mean never."

"She would for sure want to use him," Stevie Rae said. "Before my Change, she was for sure using the others, or at least trying to." She shrugged apologetically. "I'm really sorry that I can't really remember the stuff that happened before I Changed, and the rest of the kids say their memories aren't so good around then, either. I can only guess at most of this stuff."

"Well, from what little I saw, it was obvious Neferet was up to no good."

"Not a big surprise, Z," she said.

"I know. But that brings us back to other vamps knowing about you guys. If you're out in the open, it stands to reason that Neferet would have a harder time using you for her own bizarre little take-over-the-world evil plot."

"Does she have a plot like that?"

"I dunno. Sounds like something she'd have, though."

"True," Stevie Rae said.

"So? What do you think?"

She didn't answer for a while, and I kept my mouth shut and let her think. This was a big deal. As far as either of us knew, Stevie Rae and the red fledglings were something that had never before existed. If Stark didn't die, if he woke up as a red fledgling, Stevie Rae would be the first of a new kind of vampyre, and being the first of something was a serious responsibility. I definitely knew about that. "I think you might be right," she finally said in a voice that was barely louder than a whisper. "But I'm scared. What if the normal vamps think we're freaks?"

"You're not freaks," I said with way more conviction than I actually felt. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to you or them."

"Promise?"

"Promise. Plus, it's perfect timing. Shekinah is more powerful than Neferet, and there's a whole buttload of Sons of Erebus warriors around the school."

"How does that help me?"

"If Neferet loses her mind, they can handle her."

"Zoey, I don't want you to use this as an excuse to openly take on Neferet," Stevie Rae said, looking suddenly kinda pale.

Her words gave me a little jolt of shock. "I'm not!" I said much too loud, and then continued in a lowered voice. "I wouldn't use you like that."

"I don't mean that you set this up on purpose to get at Neferet. I just mean that I don't think it's smart for you, or any of us, to come out against her so publicly, and I don't think it matters all that much that the Sons of Erebus and Shekinah are here. There's something more going on with Neferet than just her normal craziness. I know it deep inside me. I can't remember what I know, but she's dangerous. Really, really dangerous. Something basic has changed about her, and that change is not a good thing."

"I wish you could remember what all happened to you."

Stevie Rae grimaced. "I do, too, sometimes. And then sometimes I'm really, really glad I can't. What happened to me wasn't good, Zoey."

"I know," I said solemnly.

We counted cat toys silently for a while, both lost in thoughts of death and darkness. I couldn't help thinking about how awful it had been when Stevie Rae had died in my arms--and then how nightmarish the aftermath of that had been when she was un- dead and struggling not to let her humanity slip completely away. I looked at her and saw she was chewing her lip nervously as she searched for more purple feathered toys in the box. She looked scared and young and, despite her new powers and responsibilities, way too vulnerable.

"Hey," I said softly. "It's gonna be okay. I promise. Nyx has to be all in the middle of this."

"Which means the Goddess is on our side?"

"Exactly. So tomorrow at midnight we perform the cleansing ritual over by the east wall." I didn't need to add that it was a place of power as well as a place of death. "Think you can get on campus and hide nearby until I call earth to the circle?"

"Yeah," she said reluctantly, clearly not one hundred percent in agreement with me yet. "So if I do come, do you think I should bring the other kids with me?"

"You decide about that. If you think bringing them is best, then I'm all for it."

"I'll have to think about it. I'll have to talk to them."

"Okay, no problem. I trust your judgment on whether you decide to come and if you decide to bring the fledglings."

She grinned at me. "It's really good to hear you say that, Z."

"I mean it, too." Then--because even though she'd grinned at me, she still looked so worried and undecided about what to do--I temporarily changed the subject while she thought about it. "Hey, want to know some more of my new-and-improved stress?" "Definitely."

"When we're done here, I have to go back to class, and since my schedule is changed around this semester, I get still get to go to drama class today, which will be taught by the ever-popular, ever-hating-my-guts, newest professor at the House of Night: Erik Night."

"Uh-oh," Stevie Rae said.

"Yeah, I'm not exactly expecting an A."

"There's one way he might give you an A, though," she said, grinning mischievously.

"Don't even start. I'm done with sex. Finished. Through. I've totally learned my lesson. Plus, it's really nasty of you to say I'd trade sex for an A."

"No, Z. I wasn't talkin' 'bout Erik givin' you an A for sex. I was talkin' 'bout him givin' you a big ol' embroidered scarlet A for your shirt."

"Huh?" I said, clueless as usual.

She sighed. "As in The Scarlet Letter. The heroine had to wear it on her shirt 'cause she messed up and slept around. You really need to read more, Zoey."

"Oh, yeah. And thanks for that lovely analogy. Makes me feel oh-so-better."

"Don't get mad." She threw a feathery cat toy at me. "I was just kiddin'."

I was still frowning at her when her cell phone rang. Stevie Rae looked at the number and sighed. She glanced quickly over at Sister Mary Angela, whose head was squarely in front of her computer, and then answered. "Hey there, Venus, what's up?" She sounded purposefully perky. There was a pause while she listened, during which her perkiness faded. "No! I told you I'd be back soon and then we'd all get somethin' to eat." Another pause--more frowning--and she said, half turning away from me and lowering her voice, "No! I said we'd get something to eat and not someone to eat. Y'all just be good. I'm gonna head back in a little while. Bye-bye."

Stevie Rae turned back to me with a fake smile plastered on her worried face. "So, what were we sayin'?"

"Stevie Rae, please tell me those kids are not eating people."