Uninhibited

I’ve spent so long wanting him, I don’t know how to shut it off.

“Look at you.” Dex’s voice slips through my internal war. He’s strolling out with a couple of cold drinks. “You need some more lotion, you’re turning all pink.”

“I am?” I sit up, a little dizzy from the sun.

“Let me do it.” Dex sits behind me on the lounger, straddling the seat. He sets down the drinks, then reaches for my sunblock, squeezing lotion into his palm. “Lean forward.”

I do as he says, feeling the cool lotion spreading across my skin. Dex massages me slowly, his hands roving across my back, under my bikini straps and around to my stomach.

“Don’t want to miss a spot,” he murmurs, smoothing down my arms. I feel his lips brush the back of my neck, and I shiver.

He squeezes more lotion out, and applies it gently to the rest of my torso, taking care over every inch. The stroke of his hands is hypnotic, and already, I feel my nipples tighten under the fabric, my thighs clenching with a low twisting need.

My body rises to him now of its own accord. No matter what my brain is thinking, he has that power over me. That command.

Dex pulls me back against him, so I’m lying resting against his chest. His touch turns softer, teasing, the lotion all used up. But still, he keeps stroking, lulling me into a haze, sliding his hand lower beneath the waistband of my bikini briefs.

I tense.

My heart is racing, my body rising against his hand, but as I feel his fingers slide lower, I freeze.

How can I be with Dex like this when I still have Hunter lingering in my thoughts?

Let Dex chase him out, a voice orders me. That’s why you came here, isn’t it? For his wicked fingers and sinful tongue to blot your unrequited love from your heart.

I exhale, trying to relax. Dex groans softly against my neck. I can feel his hardness pressing into me now, feel the ragged breath he draws as his fingers slowly, slowly circle me into a knot of pleasure.

Stardust splinters through me, and suddenly, Hunter is the last thing on my mind.

Dex increases the pressure, his other hand sliding beneath my bikini top to caress and palm my breasts. The sensation is magic, heat flooding my system and pooling in an aching point between my thighs. I wriggle against his palm, panting now, and he answers my silent plea by sinking his fingers inside me.

I moan, thrusting my hips up to meet his hand. He slides deeper inside me and pulses his fingers, a soft flutter, but oh how the sparks dazzle through my system. He squeezes my nipple between his thumb and finger, rolling the aching bud until I’m whimpering for more.

What the hell are you doing, Alicia? Getting off with one guy when your heart still aches for someone else.

You swore you wouldn’t be this girl.

Guilt crashes through me. I pull away. “Wait,” I gasp, even as my body cries out for him to keep going. “I don’t feel so good…” I scramble to my feet, my head spinning.

“What’s wrong?” Right away, Dex comes after me. His eyes are dark with concern. “Are you OK?”

“Yes,” I gulp for air. “I just…All this sun, I’m feeling kind of dizzy.”

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Dex touches my arm gently. “Do you need water? Do you want to lie down?”

“I’m OK, I think.” I feel terrible for lying to him like this. My head is spinning—but from my own screwed up emotions, not the sun. “I just need to go inside.”

Before I can say another word, Dex lifts me in his arms and carries me into the house. He sets me down gently on the couch. “Don’t move,” he says, going to the kitchen. He pours a glass of water, and holds a towel under the faucet too. Then he’s at my side again, gently pressing the cold compress to my forehead. “Better?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” I say, embarrassed to have worried him like this. “It was just too much sun. I’m better now.”

“You rest.” Dex presses his lips to my cheek. His phone starts to ring, but he ignores it. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, I’m good. Answer that,” I insist.

He shrugs, hitting to decline the call. “It’s just my manager. He can wait.”

“I told you, it was just the sun. I’m feeling better already,” I lie. “You talk to Eddy, I’ll just rest here for a minute.”

“Are you sure?” Dex frowns.

I force a laugh. “Don’t be silly, I’m not about to faint or anything. See?” I take a long drink of water and smile. Dex’s cellphone rings again. “Go on, talk to him before he has a meltdown.”

“OK,” Dex agrees, backing away, “But don’t move a muscle. That’s an order!”

He goes into the office to take the call. I inhale a deep breath, feeling the crushing guilt of lying to him—and thinking about Hunter when I should be wrapped blissfully in Dex’s arms. But I can’t help it, everything is rushing back to me, all the long nights I lay awake imagining Hunter’s lips pressed against me; his body moving over my own. The evening we spent hanging out together, the sweet things he does to show me he cares.

Cares about you as a friend. When will you wake up and break this hold he has over you?

I hear Dex’s voice coming from down the hall, chatting on the phone. For a moment, I want to bolt: pack my bag, climb in my car, and drive out of Beachwood Bay as fast as humanly possible. But I know, leaving town today won’t solve a single thing. They’ll just wonder why I’ve left, and I’ll still be trapped in this agony of indecision, back in my own bed instead of here.