Uninhibited

“Dex!” I squeal, laughing. “What are you doing?”

“Taking you back to my cave.” He lands a light smack on my ass as he strides into the house, but when he suddenly turns me right way up, there’s nothing playful in his gaze.

His eyes rake over me, dark and hungry as he steps forward, backing me into the hallway wall.

My giggle fades. My stomach turns a slow flip. I must have left the radio on before we left, because there’s a sultry song playing softly in the background, heightening the intimate mood as I stand, shivering under the force of his stare.

His eyes never leaving mine, Dex takes my wrists and pins them above my head. I gasp, my breasts jutting out, nipples tightening into two aching peaks. Dex’s gaze drifts lower, a hungry smile edging his lips as he sees the evidence of my desire. As if in answer, he grinds his hips deliberately against my body, so I can feel the hard, thick ridge straining at his jeans.

Oh my.

I gasp for air. Suddenly, the world has contracted to just this: the dark gleam of his eyes, the sweet rush shuddering through my bloodstream, and the delicious ache between my thighs.

There’s no reason to hold back anymore. We’re all alone, and Lord, I want him so much I can barely stand. My legs are weak, but more than the fever gripping my body, I feel a sharp clarity take me over, a strange instinct that cannot be denied.

It’s him.

All my waiting, all my nervous indecision—always pulling back, never allowing myself to let go and take the leap—none of it matters now.

This is the man I want to know me, intimately, like nobody else. In this moment, there’s no one else in the world.

Right now, I want to share every part of myself with him—and know all of him in return.

I arch up, straining against his firm grip until I reach his lips in a searing hot kiss. I pour everything into the moment, every ounce of wild emotion and lust. With a growl, Dex releases my wrists and scoops my body hard against him, his hands roving ravenously across my body; tangling in my hair, sliding over my breasts, reaching to cup my ass. I fall into him, drowning in the dizzy rush as my fever takes me over, demanding more, more, now.

He lifts me, already steering me down the hall towards the bedroom. We’re a breathless tangle of hands and kisses and searching tongues. I pull his shirt over his head, running my hands over the smooth, muscular planes of his back as he kisses a blazing path down my neck.

Oh! I whimper, arching up against his tongue, shameless and desperate for more. I stumble back, knocking into the hall table and sending something crashing to the floor but Dex doesn’t pause a moment and I’m too far gone to even look. All I care about is claiming another kiss, feeling his skin, hot against mine.

Yes.

But it’s not enough, it’ll never be enough, not until I’m naked in his arms and he’s buried deep inside me. I tear away. My heart is racing as I turn my back to Dex and walk towards the open bedroom door. I pause, unhooking one shoulder strap and letting it fall off my shoulder.

I turn back, a flirty smile on my lips, expecting Dex to already be reaching for me. But instead, the hunger is gone from his eyes. He’s staring, frozen, not even looking at me, and the expression on his face is so agonized, it makes my blood turn to ice.

His song is playing on the stereo.

I didn’t even notice, I was so caught up in his kisses and the crash of my own heartbeat, but now the thunder has subsided, I hear it now: soft, but unmistakeable. I’ve never heard this track before, but Dex’s voice shivers through me, haunted.

“Dex?” I whisper, taking a step towards him.

He flinches, snapping back to meet my eyes. “I…” He stops. “I can’t…”

“Hey.” I go to him in an instant, wrapping my arms tight around his frozen body. I forget about the desire still coiled tight in my body; suddenly all that matters is him, and that agony hidden deep in those dark eyes. “It’s OK,” I murmur, shushing him. “Everything’s OK.”

He stands, unmoving, in my embrace. I can feel his heart racing in his chest, feel the tension trembling in every limb.

This isn’t just bashful self-deprecation. Not wanting to be reminded of his former glories, or hating to hear the sound of his own voice.

This is a gunshot victim ducking every time he hears a car backfire.

“Dex?” I ask again.

He suddenly wrenches away from me. “I’m sorry,” he growls, turning away with an agonized look on his face. Before I can say another word, he bolts out through the living room and yanks the glass doors open, exiting down the steps onto the beach.

I’m left alone.

I take a deep breath, walking slowly to the kitchen to turn the radio off. This happened before, back in the city the night we first met. Then, I used it as an excuse to run—a sign nothing was supposed to happen between us. For a moment, I think about doing the same thing now. Packing my bags and leaving him alone with his demons. He doesn’t want to share his burden, and I have no right to expect him to explain.

But I can’t just leave.

I know him now, know the good man beneath the charming, filthy-mouthed exterior, and the impulse to go to him is overwhelming. I want to hold him tight, and make those shadows disappear. He’s been keeping something inside him for so long, and it’s eating him alive—I want him to face whatever bleak past he’s running from, and more than that, I want to be by his side, helping him through every painful memory.

This isn’t just playing anymore. We’re past the flirting, and the easy games. I need to know him, know everything that’s inside that heart of his.