Trying Not to Love You

I looked down to the ground and then back up. It still hurt to talk about it. "He um…cheated on me…and got the girl pregnant. He kept telling me that he wasn't cheating on me and that I should trust him. I trusted him with all my heart, right up until the night of the party when everything fell apart.

"Oh umm." She looked at me and then looked away.

"It's ok, I'm fine. I was lucky enough to have everyone there with me when it all went down. It hurts, but that was just the hand I was dealt."

Mom gave me one of her big smiles, wrapped her arms around me to give me a hug and said, "I'm sorry baby girl. Just remember everything happens for a reason. We just have to pick ourselves up, and look on the bright side of life."

I shrugged my shoulders. While it still hurt, I was grateful Hunter was there to ease the pain away. If he hadn't been there, it would have been a lot worse.

Mom and I visited with Jackson, Chloe and Alex for a little while before the rest of the family started showing up. Chloe really hoped her parents would show, but Jackson didn't seem to think they would. Once she had told them she was pregnant, they had completely cut her off.

On our way back to the car, I asked mom if she would do something with me. She agreed of course, not even knowing what I was going to ask. We went back inside to the check-in counter and I asked for Dominic's room.

My mom had a shocked look on her face. "Why is Dominic in here?" she asked when we were walking towards the elevator.

"Umm, Hunter," I didn't know if I should tell my mom this or not, but I was sure she would have put two and two together anyway. "Hunter got into a disagreement with him on Thanksgiving. Dominic didn't end up so….well."

She nodded her head and asked, "Is that where he disappeared to while we were eating?"

"Yeah, I didn't know he was here until yesterday when I ran into his mom. She wasn't too happy to see me, but she said that Dominic keeps asking about me. I want to give him closure so he can get over this. He has a kid to think about now, you know?"

She smiled at me for a good long minute before she told me, "I'm so proud of the young lady that you're becoming. You make your dad and me so proud. I know your brothers can be a bit over the top, but they love you none the less and are proud of you too."

Smiling I said, "Thanks mom."

We made it to Dominic's room. While I went in, mom stayed in the waiting room. Dominic's mom was sitting in the chair at the foot of his bed. Dominic was laying there in bed with two black eyes, a broken arm and stitches on the bridge of his nose and above his eye. Wow, Hunter had really done a number on him.

Dominic's mom looked up from the book she was reading; she took off her glasses and excused herself from the room.

"Good luck." Dominic's mom said to me on the way out.

Dominic looked out the window, turned to look at me and then turned his head back to the window. Maybe I shouldn't have come.

I walked to the other side of Dominic's bed and pulled up the chair that was by the wall. He looked completely defeated.

We sat there for a few minutes. He stared out the window and I stared at him. I really had no idea what to say to him. He must have just been thinking of what he wanted to say because he spoke up.

He looked from the window to me. "I'm sorry MacKenzie. I didn't mean for this to happen to us. I never wanted to hurt you. You were my everything."

"I know." I said, barely above a whisper.

"When I left home, I was so excited to be on my own and with you in the same building every day. As the first few weeks passed, things changed. I started drinking almost every day, and going to parties with the guys. I didn't really think about anything other than that. Being a football player, the girls just kind of flocked to me. They threw themselves at me and would do anything to be with me. I got careless. Brittany started flirting with me one night at one of the parties, and I let things get out of hand. The night I was supposed to come to your brothers' party was the day I woke up with Brittany in my bed. I didn't even realize what I had done until the next morning. That's what took me so long to show up; I didn't know what to do. I knew I couldn't let you down again by not showing up so I made the drive anyway. I beat myself up the whole way home for what I had done, and then I got to the shore house and we couldn't even be alone. That just made me even madder. Then, you were finally on campus and in my room. I thought everything was going to be fine. When Brittany showed up, I knew it wouldn't take you long to figure it out."

I nodded my head, agreeing with him because that was when everything started falling apart for us.

"I told her it couldn't happen again. She was pissed and said I was only using her. She's the one that left the panties in my room. She caught Tommy on the way out and he let her in. She knew you had my car because I had seen her earlier that day and she had asked me to give her a ride somewhere."

Sneaky bitch.

"I freaked out on her that day and I hadn't talked to her since. When you said you needed your space, I knew I had to give it to you or I would lose you. During our time apart, I realized what I had and I wanted you…forever. That is when I realized I wanted to marry you. I figured if I could get you to agree to marry me, then we could get over what I did."

How could he think that? Did he think I would just look the other way?

He reached over to tilt my head up to look at him. "When I showed up at that party and she told me she was pregnant, I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I didn't even care about my football career anymore; all I cared about was you. I knew I had hurt you and that was the last thing I had wanted. You were always there for me, cheering me on."

The tears started. As much as I had wanted to come in here and be strong, I couldn't help them anymore.

He grabbed my left hand and rubbed his thumb of my ring finger. "I still love you MacKenzie. I think I always will, but I know I need to let you go. I know you are in good hands. Just look what those hands did to me." He said with a chuckle.

I laughed; yeah, I was in good hands all right. I just hope they wanted me as much as I wanted them.

"I love you too Dominic. I hope everything works out for you." I stood up and placed a kiss on his forehead.

I walked to the waiting room and told mom I was ready to go. She looked up, smiled at me and said, "Let's go home."

When we got back to the house, Mason, Hailey and Hunter were there. We got his truck all packed up with our stuff and said goodbye to everyone. I was going to miss being here and miss Alex too; winter break was only few weeks away, so I would get to see everyone soon.