Truth

Tony poured himself a drink, perhaps it would help him sleep. Pacing the confines of his regal office he contemplated his wife further. He thought about Catherine’s words. She claimed Claire’s strength in the face of Tony’s adversity was proof of Claire’s true competence. Truly, Catherine’s encouragement regarding their relationship helped propel it beyond the original plan. Catherine claimed she saw Nathaniel’s positive qualities in Tony when he was with Claire. Comparing him to Nathaniel was no small compliment. Catherine’s approval of Claire continued to mean a great deal to Tony.

That was why Tony wanted Claire at the estate, safe, with Catherine to watch over her. With Rawlings Industries, Sophia, and John Vandersol, Tony didn’t need to be concerned about Claire, too. Her role as Mrs. Rawlings had just begun. And admittedly, in most situations, she’d done well. However, there were a few occasions she’d forgotten the significance of her new title. He didn’t want to spend his days worrying how her actions reflected upon him.

Claire said she wasn’t a spouse or a partner. That wasn’t true. He wanted her as both... however; Anthony Rawlings never shared control. His percentage always held more weight... therefore; it didn’t matter if she was bored: if he wanted her at the estate -- that was where she would be.

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy;

for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves;

we must die to one life before we can enter another.

– Anatole France

Chapter 51

“Ms. Nichols, we’re almost to Palo Alto.” Grace’s voice penetrated Claire’s dream, resounding through the hum of engines. “Ms. Nichols, please return your seat to its upright position.”

Claire opened her eyes, seeing the luxurious interior of Tony’s private plane and the nice copilot standing before her. Recognizing she’d slept the entire flight, Claire slowly obeyed. She nodded at Grace as she pushed the appropriate buttons and returned her lounge to its chair position. It was true; no commercial seat, even in first class, could provide the comfort and serenity Claire had just enjoyed for over four hours.

As wakefulness came, so did hunger. Earlier in the afternoon she enjoyed one of her favorite meals: grilled salmon, asparagus, salad, and red potatoes. And since Tony claimed not to have requested the delicious menu, they both suspected Catherine. Nevertheless, as Claire adjusted her watch to Pacific Time, she realized dinner was over five hours ago. Contemplating her future, she wondered if the twisting in her stomach was hunger or the thought of her impending discussion with Harry and her future travel plans next Friday morning.

Claire wanted to talk with Harry, be honest, and explain her thoughts. The problem with her plan -- Claire didn’t know her own thoughts. Harry deserved honesty; she wasn’t completely sure what that entailed. She truly never meant to lead him on – she liked him. Perhaps no one would believe her, but up until recently, she never expected to even consider allowing Tony back into her life. Even now she didn’t know if their charade was an act or if real feelings were emerging.

From the moment Tony left her in the jail in Iowa, she thought they were ancient history. If she didn’t, would she have spent hours upon hours sitting with Meredith Banks recounting some of the most horrific times of her life? Would she have spent day after day researching Tony’s family history? No -- no, she wouldn’t.

And when he blackmailed her at the gala, she had no intentions to truly reconcile. It was all a sham. But ... Claire had to admit, there were moments... flashes of feelings. She tried to ignore them. Unfortunately, the press didn’t. Harry was right about some of the pictures; Claire wasn’t that good of an actress. The look in her eyes couldn’t be feigned. Nonetheless, that didn’t mean she wanted reconciliation. Well, not until... the little blue plus and pulsating black dot appeared.

If Claire allowed herself to somehow look past Tony’s faults and peer into the man who claimed never ending love, she could see his good. She could see what Catherine wanted her to see; he was trying.

As the plane descended, Claire struggled with her wedding portrait. Tony left her alone at the jail and stared at her every night above his fireplace. It didn’t make sense. And when she noticed it, he seemed surprised, obviously accustomed to its presence. She attempted to understand what he and Catherine tried to explain. Tony said he did what he did to save her -- from him. Catherine explained Tony made two promises; he tried to keep one in a way as to also keep the other. Was that the loop-hole he mentioned? In San Francisco, after the gala, Tony reminded Claire of his promise to love her forever, made in front of family and friends. Claire needed to know the specifics of his other promise and confirm to whom it was made. Was it his grandfather, as she’d suspected, or the woman in the blue Honda?

Claire closed her eyes and contemplated Brent’s recent information: Burke, the same name as the securities officer. Could Tony possibly be doing the same thing to someone else – like he did to her? Claire knew one thing for sure; no one else was in her suite.

Didn’t she owe it to herself and to their child to give this reconciliation a try? How could she possibly explain all of that to Harry? He knew the truth about Tony’s past behaviors. The night of the gala Harry was upset and said hurtful things. Nevertheless, Claire doubted he could ever treat someone the way he treated her in the beginning. How could she make anyone understand she would willingly choose Tony over Harry?

As the plane came to a stop on the tarmac, Claire stood. Her stomach knotted in anticipation of their conversation. Suddenly, she remembered the second part of her week -- John and Emily’s arrival tomorrow. If her impending conversation with Harry would be difficult, talking to her family would be impossible. Feeling light headed, Claire sat down against the plush seat and closed her eyes.