Troubles and Treats

“So, Liz, did you ever think there would be such a high demand for a store that sells sex toys?”

Jim leans over and places a kiss on Liz’s cheek, and she smiles at the camera.

“As long as there are people having sex, there will always be a need for sex toys,” Liz tells us.

“What’s ‘having sex’?” Liz and Jim’s five-year-old, Ava, asks.

“It’s gross. And people yell like they are in pain. I think it has something to do with killing each other,” Gavin tells her.

“Ooooh, that’s scary. I’m never having the sex,” Ava replies as she goes back to playing with one of the toys her parents brought for her.

“Why do they only pay attention when we’re talking about something they shouldn’t hear?” Jim whispers to Liz.

“Because children are ass**les,” Drew whispers back.

“I heard that,” Gavin replies without even turning around.

“Good, because you’re the biggest ass**le!” Drew whispers loudly.

“Will you stop calling my son an ass**le?!” Claire scolds Drew.

Drew immediately bows his head in remorse when Claire gives him a dirty look.

“Oooooh, you just got schooled by my mommy,” Gavin taunts with a laugh.

Carter quickly leans forward and clamps a hand over Gavin’s mouth while Drew sticks his tongue out at him and gets a smack in the arm from his wife.

“Jenny, you’re credited with putting Seduction and Snacks on the map with all of your amazing marketing and promotion skills. Can you tell us a little bit about that?”

Drew leans back in his chair and throws his arm around the back of Jenny’s and plays with a strand of her hair.

“Um, well, I don’t think I was the one who put Seduction and Snacks on the map. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the state of Ohio and where they built the building. I could be wrong though. I did send a flyer to our mayor so maybe that made him add it to the map. Not sure,” she says with a shrug.

“You guys have stuck together as friends and been through quite a lot together in the last few years. Where do you see yourselves ten years from now?”

The couples all look at one another, and there are a few smiles and some laughs exchanged.

“In ten years, we’ll still be friends. We’ll still be talking about sex all the time and doing inappropriate things in public,” Jim tells us with a chuckle.

“In ten years, I hope I’m living next door to my best friend so I can just walk over there if I need her. Even if Seduction and Snacks is no longer around, at least I’ll still have her. And sex toys,” Liz says with a smile.

“Awwww, you’re going to make me cry!” Claire tells Liz.

“And you’re going to make me puke. Cut it out!” Drew yells at them.

“In ten years, I hope I’m still waking up every morning next to my soul mate,” Carter admits with a smile in Claire’s direction.

“What is this, Lifestyles of the Gay and Sappy? Come on!” Drew complains.

“In ten years, I hope they have a Skittles remover and I can still put my feet behind my head in a hammock,” Jenny tells everyone.

“In ten years I hope I’ve forgotten every part of that sentence,” Jim states.

“In ten years, I’ll still be banging my hot wife. Hopefully by then they will have invented honey that isn’t so sticky and corn stalks that don’t chafe so much when you tie them to your penis,” Drew states.

“In ten years, I hope Drew stops talking about his penis and the weird things he does with it,” Claire says with a roll of her eyes. “But we’ll definitely still be friends. We’ll all have teenagers then and will need as much support as we can get,” she laughs.

“In ten years I’ll be twenty. I’ll be able to carry a gun and pistol whip Drew,” Gavin says.

“You can’t carry a gun at twenty! And anyway, I will still be bigger than you in ten years, kid,” Drew argues.

“Yeah, but you’ll be old. And you’ll probably need a walker and someone to change your poopy diaper,” Gavin argues back.

“How the hell do you even know what pistol whip means?” Claire asks in shock.

“PlayStation. Duh,” Gavin replies back.

“I’m not going to have poopy diapers, YOU’RE going to have poopy diapers,” Drew tells Gavin.

“You can’t even spell poopy,” Gavin replies in a bored voice as his sister Sophia climbs onto his lap and gets comfortable.

“I can spell poopy!” Sophia announces.

“It’s called SPOOPY!” Drew and Jenny’s daughter Veronica announces proudly.

“SPOOP!” Billy shouts from his place on the floor in between Jim’s daughters.

Everyone stares down at Billy in shock.

“Did he just say spoop?” Liz whispers.

“What the hell is spoop?” Carter asks.

“Oh my God, our son’s first word is spoop?!” Jenny screeches as she smacks Drew’s arm.

“This is NOT my fault. It’s Jackson’s fault!” Drew argues.

“Do I really have to put that in his baby book? I CANNOT write the word 'spoop',” Jenny says.

“I can. I know how to spell spoop,” Gavin tells her.

“So do any of you have plans for more children?”

All three couples chime in at once and without any hesitation. ns class="adsbygoogle" style="display:block" data-ad-client="ca-pub-7451196230453695" data-ad-slot="9930101810" data-ad-format="auto" data-full-width-responsive="true">