Towers of Midnight (The Wheel of Time #13)

Light! she thought. Did I hurt him? I shouldn’t have barreled into that. I could have—

“They’re gone,” Naeff said. “The Fades…I can’t see them anymore.” He blinked. “Why would Fades be hiding in the shadows anyway? If I could see them, they’d have killed me, and—” He looked at her, focusing. “What did you do?”

“I…I think I just Healed your madness.” Well, she’d done something to it. What she’d done hadn’t been any standard Healing, and hadn’t even used Healing weaves. But it had worked, it seemed.

Naeff smiled deeply, seeming bewildered. He took her hand with both of his, then knelt before her, growing teary-eyed. “For months, I have felt as if I were always being watched. As if I would be murdered the moment I turned my back on the shadows. Now I…Thank you. I need to go find Nelavaire.”

“Off with you, then,” Nynaeve said. Naeff left her in a dash, running back toward the Stone to search out his Aes Sedai.

I can’t let myself begin to think that nothing I do matters. That’s what the Dark One wants. As she watched Naeff hasten away, she noticed that the clouds above were breaking. Rand had returned.

Workers began clearing away the rubble of buildings that had half turned to dust, and Nynaeve ended up speaking soothingly to the worried Tairens who began to cluster around the perimeter. She didn’t want there to be a panic; she assured everyone that the danger was past, and then she asked to meet with any families who had lost someone.

She was still doing this—talking softly with a thin, worried woman—when Rand found her. The woman was a commoner, wearing a high-necked dress with three aprons and a straw hat. Her husband had worked in the inn Nynaeve had entered. The woman kept glancing at the hole in the ground that had been the cellar.

After a moment, Nynaeve noticed Rand, watching her and standing with his arms behind his back, hand clasping his stump. Two Maidens guarded him, a pair of women named Somma and Kanara. Nynaeve finished speaking with the Tairen, but the woman’s tearful eyes wrenched her heart. How would she react, if she lost Lan?

Light protect him. Please, please protect him, she prayed. She unhooked her coin pouch and sent the woman off with it. Perhaps that would help.

Rand stepped up to Nynaeve. “You care for my people. Thank you.”

“I care for any who need it,” Nynaeve said.

“As you’ve always done,” Rand said. “Along with caring for some who don’t need it.”

“Like you?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“No, I’ve always needed it. That and more.”

Nynaeve hesitated. That wasn’t something she’d ever expected him to admit. Why hadn’t he gotten rid of that old cloak? It was faded and dull.

“This is my fault,” Rand said, nodding toward the hole in the city.

“Rand, don’t be a fool.”

“I don’t know if anyone can avoid being a fool at times,” he said. “I blame myself because of my delays. We’ve been putting off the confrontation with him for too long. What happened here today? The buildings turned to dust?”

“Yes,” Nynaeve said. “Their substance was removed. Everything crumbled the moment we touched it.”

“He would do this to the entire world,” Rand said, his voice growing soft. “He stirs. The longer we wait—holding on by our fingernails—the more he destroys what remains. We can delay no longer.”

Nynaeve frowned. “But Rand, if you let him free, won’t that make it even worse?”

“Perhaps for a short burst,” Rand said. “Opening the Bore will not free him immediately, though it will give him more strength. It must be done regardless. Think of our task as climbing a tall stone wall. Unfortunately, we are delaying, running laps before attempting the climb. Each step tires us for the fight to come. We must face him while still strong. That is why I must break the seals.”

“I…” Nynaeve said. “I think I actually believe you.” She was surprised to realize it.

“Do you, Nynaeve?” he asked, sounding oddly relieved. “Do you really?”

“I do.”

“Then try to convince Egwene. She will stop me, if she can.”

“Rand…she has called me back to the Tower. I’ll need to go today.”

Rand looked saddened. “Well, I suspected that she might do that eventually.” He took Nynaeve by the shoulder in an odd gesture. “Don’t let them ruin you, Nynaeve. They’ll try.”

“Ruin me?”

“Your passion is part of you,” Rand said. “I tried to be like them, though I wouldn’t have admitted it. Cold. Always in control. It nearly destroyed me. That is strength to some, but it is not the only type of strength. Perhaps you could learn to control yourself a little more, but I like you as you are. It makes you genuine. I would not see you become another ‘perfect’ Aes Sedai with a painted mask of a face and no care for the feelings and emotions of others.”

“To be Aes Sedai is to be calm,” Nynaeve replied.

“To be Aes Sedai is to be what you decide it is,” Rand said, his stump still held behind his back. “Moiraine cared. You could see it in her, even when she was calm. The best Aes Sedai I’ve known are the ones who others complain aren’t what an Aes Sedai should be.”

Nynaeve found herself nodding, then was annoyed at herself. She was taking advice from Rand al’Thor?

There was something different about Rand now. Quiet intensity and careful words. He was a man you could take advice from without feeling he was speaking down to you. Like his father, actually. Not that she’d ever admit that to either one of them.

“Go to Egwene,” Rand said, releasing her shoulder. “But when you can, I would like it very much if you returned to me. I will need your counsel again. At the very least, I would like you by my side as I go to Shayol Ghul. I cannot defeat him with saidin alone, and if we are going to use Callandor, I will need two women I trust in the circle with me. I have not decided upon the other. Aviendha or Elayne, perhaps. But you for certain.”

“I will be there, Rand.” She felt oddly proud. “Hold still for a moment. I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

He raised an eyebrow, but did nothing as she Delved him. She was so tired, but if she was going to leave him, she needed to take this opportunity to Heal his madness. It seemed, suddenly, the most important thing she could do fo