Too Late
Page 49Her chest rises with her gasp. “Hurry,” she says, breathless.
Hurry is the last thing I’m gonna do when it comes to her.
I tilt my head, feeling her fists clench around the front of my shirt. I barely touch my lips to her lips, feathering my mouth against hers. We both release shaky breaths the second we make contact-breaths we’ve been holding since that first day we saw each other in class.
She’s on her tiptoes now, needing me to kiss her fully, to finally give her what we both want. Instead, I pull back and look down at her. When she realizes I’m doing the exact opposite of what she wants, she opens her eyes.
I stare down at her mouth, wanting to savor it for one more second before devouring it. I move my right hand back to her cheek, slowly rubbing the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip.
“What’s taking you so long?” she whispers.
I stare at her mouth as I trace my thumb over her top lip. “I’m worried that once we start, we won’t be able to stop.”
She slides her hands up my neck, sending chills down my back. “I think you should have thought that through before you walked into my bedroom. It’s a little too late to change your mind now.”
Her mouth is warm, her lips are cold and the way she kisses me back makes the room feel hotter than hell. I try to pull her closer, to kiss her deeper, but it isn’t enough. We’re grasping at each other, attempting to get more from this kiss than we know we’re allowed. But her lips, her gasps, her moans…I can’t stop.
I can’t stop.
We end up with her back flat against a wall and my hands beside her head. Our kiss slows down, speeds up, slows down again.
Stops.
We’re practically panting as I stare down at her. She’s looking up at me with the most tragic expression. I kiss her softly on the lips, then on her cheek. I pull back and press my forehead to hers as we catch our breath.
“I should go home,” I whisper. “I need to go before my stupidity gets you killed.”
She nods and then desperately grips my arms. “Take me with you.”
“Please,” she says, her eyes filling with tears. “Let’s go. Now, before I change my mind. I want out of here and I never want to come back.”
Fuck.
Is she really saying this?
“Please, Carter.” Her words are desparate. “We can discharge my brother so Asa doesn’t use him against me. And wherever we end up, I’ll find a way to get him back in the care he needs. Let’s just go.”
My heart is deflating, just like her hope is about to. If she only knew how much I wish I could do that. I start to shake my head and she moves her hands from my arms to my cheeks. A huge tear spills out of her eye. “Carter, please. You don’t owe him anything. You can get out. We both can. Right now.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and roll my forehead to the side of her head. My lips are directly over her ear when I whisper, “It’s not that easy, Sloan.”
If it were all up to Luke and Carter didn’t have to exist, we’d be halfway across the state already. But if I took her tonight…if we just ran away and I abandoned Ryan in the middle of all this…it would compromise the entire investigation. It would make Asa even more dangerous. And I’d be letting down a whole fucking lot of people, not to mention giving up my entire career. I wouldn’t even have a way to support her.
I press my lips to the side of her head, just as she starts to cry. And as much as I’d give to hold her in my arms until her devastation passes, I can’t. Every second I’m in this room with her is another second I’m risking her life.
I press my mouth to hers once more and then pull away from her. She lets her head fall back against the wall and she’s so much sadder in this moment than when I even walked inside the room to begin with.
She’s still gripping my wrist as I try to walk away. When she refuses to let go, I lift her fingers from around my wrist, releasing her. I watch as her arm falls limp to her side. Having to walk away from her like this is nothing short of devastating.
It’s tragic.
And that’s where love finds you…in the tragedies.