To Thine Own Self

"Maybe," Carmen said as she walked to the kitchen. "I'm not sure I even care at this point."

Katie grimaced. "I can't blame you. Now you see what I mean about how he can be."

It was impossible to say what dragons Alex might be fighting at this point. He was obviously at the end of his endurance. Maybe he had decided being in control of the estate was better than having no control in his home. At first she would have done almost anything to get him back, but now that idea seemed full of holes. If he came back, he'd only leave again. She had crossed the point of no return. She no longer wanted a taskmaster - especially one who would leave his wife and children when things didn't suit him. How could they hope to have a normal relationship shrouded in secrecy? Still, she had to accept some of the blame. She was the one who insisted on having a man who would wear the pants - even if she didn't fully understand what that encompassed. To some degree, Katie had been right. She had been raised to accept the domination of Dad over Mom. They had a good relationship - most of the time. She had never known anything else. Maybe her mother hadn't either. No doubt her father would have approved of Alex - the undisputed king of the castle. But she wasn't like her mother - or maybe she was. How did she know how her mother felt? It didn't matter. If all this had never happened, she might have gone on for years living the life she thought best for everyone. But it did happen and now she knew the truth. Alex was a good man and she still loved him, but she no longer wanted him or anyone else in charge of her life. It wasn't fair to either of them. It was one thing to love and protect, but quite another to blindly accept total domination. Alex couldn't be expected to handle everything and she couldn't be expected to consult him on everything.

Katie left with the promise of calling every day to see if she needed help. That was enough to make Carmen try harder. It wasn't the first time Alex had been gone for over a week, leaving her to manage the farm and the children. But this time it was different. The twins and even Destiny cried about every small thing that didn't go their way. Jonathan was solemn and, for the most part, silent. Felipa watched the children sometimes to give Carmen a break. It was on one of those days that Carmen decided to ride down to the stable on Princess and see how things looked. Sam had the day off, so Carmen fed the horses and watered them. They had been out to pasture all day, so they were looking for attention. Sam was keeping them in excellent condition. Carmen released them and returned to the barn. She forked some hay to Princes and leaned the pitchfork against the wall near the door. Gazing out at the hills, she waited for Princes to finish. She was standing there when Rob walked in.