Throb

I missed him every second of every day, but seeing him before me makes me remember all the reasons why. The way he looks at me like he wants to devour me, his cocky confidence that borders on arrogance, his irresistible charm, the way he commands a room without having to say or do a thing.

My heart pounds in my chest.

My mind finally stops whirling with questions and goes blank.

Cooper stops as he reaches where I’m standing. I don’t move an inch, my feet securely cemented to the earth.

I look at him. He stares at me.

His face is a mask. I can’t tell if he’s happy to see me or angry I’m here. While what’s going on inside of him may be completely unreadable, there’s a rash of emotions churning inside my own stomach that are impossible to ignore.

He folds his arms over his chest in a closed-off stance.

I don’t know what to say or do. Maybe he’s just as surprised to see me as I am to see him. His beautiful face is somber, and his green eyes are distant. It’s physically painful to be this close, yet feel so far away.

The seconds tick by. I’m certain he must be able to hear the pounding of my heartbeat, it’s so loud. Yet we just stare—neither of us saying a word. I long for him to open his folded arms and invite me in, but he doesn’t.

Mimicking his stance, I wrap my shaky arms around my waist to occupy them. So badly they want to reach out and touch him—I’m afraid they might. My body has a mind of its own when it comes to this man.

“How are you?” Unable to take the deafening silence any longer, I finally speak. His green eyes darken with emotion. He’s angry with me.

“How do you think I am?” The pain in his voice slices through me.

I close my eyes. Blinking back tears when I reopen them. “Do you want me to leave?” I ask softly.

“I wouldn’t have arranged for you to be here if I wanted you to leave.”

A spark of hope ignites in the darkness I’ve been shrouded in.

“I don’t understand?”

Cooper blows out a rush of air. “Neither do I, Kate.” He rakes his fingers through his hair, then regains his intimidating composure.

Our eyes lock in a challenging stare off, until I finally break. All the sadness I’ve been carrying, all the hurt and anger, bubbles to the top. My need to know the truth is greater than any silly race to win our stalemate. “Did Miles threaten you with things that could hurt me to make you break things off?”

He swallows. “Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? We could have figured out a way.”

“You said it yourself best. You couldn’t give winning your all while we were together. If it were just me he’d ruin, I’d never have walked away. I’d have let him take everything I own to keep you.” He pauses and his voice drops lower. “I know how much you love your brother. It was too much to risk.”

He’s right—I’d never have been able to connect with Flynn like I did if he didn’t free me. Since Flynn came to see me, all I could focus on was how Cooper could tear us apart. I was upset he didn’t trust me enough to figure it out together. But in this moment, I finally understand. My eyes well with tears. I’ve been so busy being mad at him for making the decision without me, I couldn’t see what he really did. He made the decision for me.

“Tatiana,” I whisper. “How could you have so soon?”

“I used Tatiana to chase you away. To set you free to do what you needed to do.”

“So you slept with her for me?” There’s a bitter edge to my voice.

“I didn’t sleep with her.” His jaw flexes and it looks like he’s contemplating adding more.

“Truth,” I remind him.

“I didn’t lay a finger on her the night you came over and found her there. I went out with her once before we met. That’s it.” His eyes close and then come back to find mine. “I settled for less before you walked into my life.”

“Then why didn’t you come to me after the show was over?”

“I thought you were with him. You looked … happy.”

The pain in his eyes when he utters his truth wraps around my heart and squeezes so tightly my hand reaches up to rub my chest. He acted so selflessly, without regard to his own happiness. It must have killed him to watch the show. The editors pieced together my small moments of joy to make them appear like I was blissfully in love.

Head bowed, he looks up through tortured eyes and asks, “Do you love him?”

“No.”

He steps closer to me and I think I stop breathing for a second. “Remember when I asked you if you believed in loving something and setting it free to find out if it’s meant to be?”

“You told me you were more of the school of if you want something you should pursue it aggressively.”

“I finally understand the difference. If you want something, you pursue it aggressively and nothing gets in your way. If you love something, sometimes you have no choice but to set it free so it can find its way back to you forever. It killed me to let go, but I’d do it again if it meant your happiness in the end. That’s how I know.”

“Know what?” I whisper with apprehension, although my heart opens wide with hope.

One hand grasps my waist and his other rises to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “Know that I love you. In a way that is irrational and incomprehensible, but is the only thing that has ever made sense to me.”