This Man Confessed

I turn towards Cathy. ‘I would never have seen it through. I soon realised I was being stupid. I was just so shocked. I don’t know how he’s found out.’ Now I’ve calmed slightly, I’m wondering how he does actually know.

That paper. The envelope.

‘Ava, he’s obviously shocked. Give him time to come round. You’re still pregnant and that’s all that matters. He’ll see soon enough.’

I smile, but Cathy’s words haven’t made me feel any better. She doesn’t know what happened the last time he walked out on me. ‘Thank you for the tea, Cathy.’ I say, getting down from the stool. ‘I’d better get ready for work.’

Her wrinkled brow furrows, and she looks at my mug. ‘But you’ve hardly touched it.’

‘Oh,’ I quickly scoop it up and take a few hot sips, probably burning the roof of my mouth in the process, but there’s a piece of paper lying on the floor of the master suite, and it’s screaming for me to read it. I give Cathy a quick peck in the cheek, and she rubs my arm affectionately before I escape the kitchen.

I run upstairs fast and pick the paper straight up, being immediately greeted with a bunch of pamphlets, stapled to the corner of a letter. The letter is a scan appointment. The pamphlets are a wealth of information on abortion. The information sinks in very fast, and as I lift my eyes to the top of the letter, I notice my name and address. No, not my address. It’s Matt’s address.

I gasp and screw the paper up, throwing it at the wall on an infuriated yell. I’m so f**king stupid. I’ve not changed my address with the surgery. I’ve not changed my address with anyone. All of my mail has been going to Matt’s and clearly the f**king bastard has been opening it. He must’ve been in his element to find this. What the hell is wrong with him, the nasty f**king lowlife? My damn emotions are all over the place. I’m sad, I’m hurt, I’m blood boiling mad.

At the risk of lashing out on the door or the wall or anything I can lay my hands on, I throw myself in the shower instead.

* * *

I’m still shaking with anger when I walk into the penthouse foyer only half an hour later. I’m already late, but my work, for the first time ever, is the least of my priorities. And it’s a good thing because I’m standing staring blankly at the keypad, with not the first idea of what numbers to punch in. I glance back at the door, contemplating nipping back in to ask Cathy, but I decide against it, instead bashing in the code of the fire exit door and pushing my way through. I need to burn off some of this fury before I’m in the close proximity of people. I might rip someone’s head off, and I want to save my wrath for Matt.

‘Good Morning, Mrs Ward.’ Casey’s friendly voice is the first thing I hear when I exit the stairwell, panting from exhaustion as oppose to panting with anger.

‘Casey,’ I puff, putting my heels back on.

He looks me up and down. God only knows what I must look like. I didn’t even bother to use a mirror, instead blasting my hair and firing pins in all over my head where I felt they needed to be. ‘Are you okay?’ he asks.

‘Fine,’

‘Congratulations,’ he says. I look at him in alarm. Jesse wouldn’t share our good news with the new concierge. He doesn’t like him. ‘On getting married,’ Casey adds. ‘I didn’t know.’

I’m frowning. Would Jesse have told him that? Probably. He was probably trampling at the time, stamping his ownership. ‘Thanks,’ I stalk past him and slip my shades on before I hit the sunshine, hoping the oversized things might conceal most of my harassed face. John’s here. He shrugs, and I shake my head. ‘I’m not coming with you, John.’ I fire my key fob at my Mini and start across the car park.

‘Come on, girl. Let’s not push it.’ His voice is a low rumble, even though he’s pleading with me.

‘John, I’m sorry, but I’m driving myself today.’ I insist in the firmest tone I can find. It’s hard. I just want to cry some more. He’s so mad with me, but he still sent John to take me to work. As usual, he just can’t help it. I stop and swing around to face the big friendly giant. He’s standing at the hood of his Range Rover, holding his big arms out to me pleadingly. ‘Is he okay?’ I ask.

‘No, he’s gone mother f**king crazy, girl. What’s going on?’

‘Nothing,’ I say quietly, feeling so thankful that John is unaware to why Jesse has lost the plot. He’s probably too ashamed of me to admit it to anyone, and he has every right to be.

‘Nothing?’ He laughs, but then his frightening face turns deadly serious. ‘It’s nothing to do with that Danish mother f**ker?’

‘No,’ I shake my head, thinking Mikael might be something else for Jesse to fly off the handle about.

‘Are you okay?’ His wraparounds are still firmly in place, but I know he’s looking at my stomach. He thinks something has happened to the baby.

I nod, my hand naturally sliding across my cornflower blue shift dress and onto my navel. ‘Fine, John.’

‘Ava, girl, let me take you to work so I can at least go back to The Manor and tell him I got you there safely.’ He gestures towards his shining heap of black metal.

It’s hard for me to refuse John. He’s thinking about Jesse, and I know that he cares about me. Under any other circumstances, I would, but I have an ex to deal with, and I can’t wait to rip him to shreds. ‘I’m sorry, John.’ I jump in my car and dial Casey to open the gates. No code, no gate device. Anyone would think that he was trying to keep me prisoner. I leave a clearly exasperated John in the Car park of Lusso and drive myself to work.