This Man Confessed

‘Here,’ Jesse takes my knife and fork and replaces them with a glass of water. ‘Drink.’

‘Thank you,’ I accept the glass and gulp it all down, striving to avoid Kate across the table, but failing miserably. Her mischievous mood is like a magnet to my vulnerable state. This time she’s mimicking a blowjob, her fist casually wanking thin air in front of her mouth. I spit my water across the table, all over Drew and Sam, and I aim well because I catch Kate, too. Sam and Drew fly up from their chairs, but Kate stays exactly where she is, laughing.

‘Fucking hell, Ava.’ Jesse grabs a napkin. ‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ He starts dabbing at my mouth while I fall apart all over the place, hearing Sam and Drew cursing to themselves and Kate’s continued giggles.

‘I’m sorry,’ I laugh. ‘I’m so sorry.’ I look at Sam and Drew, both patting themselves down with napkins that Mario has brought over. I refuse to look at Kate, but I do cast my eyes around the bar, finding half of the occupants observing my little performance.

‘Are you okay?’ Jesse’s concerned voice drags my attention back to him.

‘I’m sorry,’ I repeat myself. ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’ I do, and the wicked cow is sat opposite me, silently willing me to look at her. I don’t. I take my cutlery back and turn my eyes down to my plate, and that’s where I’ll be keeping them until I’ve finished my dinner. She’s loving this.

I see Sam lower back into his chair opposite me. ‘Is this what pregnancy does to women?’ he asks on a chuckle.

‘It’s better than mood swings.’ Kate snickers.

‘Yeah, let me know when they start,’ Drew pipes up. ‘I can handle being spat at, but I’m not up for a tongue lashing.’

Oh, good Lord! I can feel my shoulders starting to jerk up and down, and I know Kate is grinning at me again, but this time I control it. I keep my head down and work my way through the rest of my dinner.

‘I take it you’re done?’ Jesse says to my empty plate, pulling it away and handing it to Pete.

‘Hmm,’ I fall back in my chair. ‘That was heaven.’

‘We can see.’ Drew’s eyebrows are raised and following the clean plate to Pete’s tray.

‘Say your goodbyes, lady. It’s getting late.’ Jesse leans over the table and shakes hands with the boys before standing and giving Kate a peck on the cheek.

I join him and lean down to kiss each of our friends. ‘Ring me,’ I whisper to Kate as I pull away from her cheek.

‘I will,’ she sings.

As we exit the bar, Jesse looks down at me with enquiring eyes. ‘Gathered yourself together now, Mrs Ward?’

I meet his stare with a questioning look. ‘You knew, didn’t you?’

‘About what?’

‘About Kate, Sam, and Drew.’ I let him guide me through the entrance hall, but keep my eyes on his.

There’s no denying the flash of surprise that flies across his face. ‘Is that what you were laughing about? She told you?’

‘Yes,’ I confirm, wanting to add that she actually told me a lot more—a lot, lot more. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘And give you something to get your knickers in a twist over?’ he jibes.

‘I wouldn’t have.’ I announce confidently, as we crunch our way across the gravel. ‘Shall I take my giant snowball?’

‘No, you’re coming with me.’ I’m directed into the passenger seat of the DBS, but I don’t say a word. I don’t want to drive the humongous thing.

He starts the engine and cruises sensibly down the driveway, and it’s not until I feel his hand rest over mine that I realise mine is laid flat on my stomach. I don’t need visual validation that he’s looking at me, so I continue to watch the trees slowly passing the passenger window as I feel his fingers lace through mine and squeeze gently.

I smile to myself. This is just so right.

Chapter 17

There’s that familiar whirring again as I come awake. I sit up and immediately feel gut wrenchingly sick. Flopping back to my pillow on an enormous groan, I soon appreciate my error when my stomach turns, indicating that I haven’t got time to lay here and determine just how crap I feel. I’m going to be sick.

I dive from the bed, straight into the bathroom, where I just about make it to the lovely toilet before I decorate it with last night’s dinner. ‘No,’ I whine to myself as I yank at the roll of toilet paper. It doesn’t feel so right now. My body is completely rejecting my contented thoughts. I hug the toilet for an age, my head resting on my arms as I fight off the sweats and moan under my breath to the empty space surrounding me. ‘Rubbish,’ I grumble. ‘Why are you doing this to me?’ I look down at my stomach. ‘You’re going to be challenging like your father, aren’t you?’

On a long, drawn out sigh, I pull myself up and go to the bedroom, tugging on the nearest thing I can find, which happens to be Jesse’s discarded shirt from last night. I don’t bother to try and make myself look better because I want him to see me suffering. I go downstairs and meet him as he rounds the corner from the gym, looking all spectacular in his running shorts with a towel draped across his naked shoulders and his hair a mess of damp locks all over his glistening head. It makes me feel sicker.

‘Oh baby,’ he mumbles sympathetically. ‘Crap?’

‘Terrible.’ I try to pout, but my exhausted body won’t allow it. I’m just standing in front of him lifelessly, my arms hanging limply by my sides. I’m feeling mighty sorry for myself.