There You Stand

Chapter Fourteen

A couple of mornings later, I awoke in pain and could barely swing my legs out of bed. My fucking back was acting up like it needed attention. Or maybe it was David who did—as if a day would ever go by without me thinking about him.

Maybe he was pissed at me for allowing another guy to take possession of all of my damn senses. Yeah, I was completely losing it. Still my back was no longer that silent reminder of the night that David stormed out of that party half drunk and got on his motorcycle to get the hell away from me.

Trailing behind him to make sure he was safe, I watched as his bike hydroplaned and smashed into the guardrail. My bike followed suit, sliding against the asphalt, though my impact was lessened by my attempt to avoid the accident.

He’d been the one to lose his life.

I’d been angry that night because David refused to publicly kiss me or hold my hand. It was so damn immature, trying to oust him from the closet before he was ready. But he’d been flirting with some girl at the party while I silently stood by watching him suppress who he really was. We weren’t a perfect couple, we were young and our differences were stark, but he was mine and I wanted to shout it from the rooftops.

I would live with that guilt for the rest of my life, though rationally I knew I never forced him to get on that bike drunk and drive like an idiot.

And now I was getting caught up in somebody else who also didn’t seem to know who he was or what in the hell he wanted. Damn, I knew how to pick them, didn’t I?

But my attraction to Jude was almost explosive. Maybe the mystery of him, the forbidden aspect added to it. But every single time I was near him my skin felt hot, my heart unstable in my chest, and I was frantic for any morsel from him—a word, a smile, or a touch. He seemed innately familiar to me, like plugging a cord into an outlet, and we’d barely even scratched the surface of getting to know one another.

I jumped in the shower and allowed the hot water to loosen my muscles. I was headed to my grandma’s house this morning to drive her to the home center superstore to purchase a new dishwasher.

Since my doctor’s appointment wasn’t for a couple more days, I had taken the last of my prescription muscle relaxers last night, which always made me drowsy. The aftereffects were a fuzzy feeling in my head but I’d attempt to act as normal as possible in front of her. Usually, if I kept on moving my back, it eventually felt tolerable.

Grandma was waiting in the wicker chair on her porch. “Hi, darling.”

I slid off my bike and headed to her car in the garage. I pulled open the passenger side door and failed to swipe the grimace from my face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Gram,” I said.

She didn’t like when I fussed about her health. And I didn’t like when she gave it back. But there was no hiding my discomfort from her.

“I know my own grandchild,” she said, sinking into the seat.

“It’s my back,” I said, sliding behind the wheel. “It’s been worse since I had that lame fall with my ankle. I think Chopper yanked it out of alignment or something.”

She reached over to rub circles on my shoulder. “Did you make a doctor’s appointment?”

“Yeah, it’s at the end of this week,” I said, brushing it off. “In the meantime I’m taking muscle relaxers. It’s all cool.”

“There’s got to be another solution,” she said. “You should ask your friend Jessie. Her mom works at the holistic center.”

I rolled my eyes, which was about the only part of my body that didn’t ache.

“It’s worth a try,” she said as I backed out of the driveway.

“I definitely will if this appointment doesn’t pan out,” I said. Besides, it was no fun crouching over a tattoo in this condition, either. “Promise.”

“Good,” she said and studied the view out the side window. After another minute of silence, she looked at me and then at the radio, lifting her eyebrows.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re just unusually quiet,” she said. “By now you’d already have the music turned up or you’d be telling me something about work.”

I scrubbed my hand across my chin because she was right. My thoughts were so laser focused on other things that I had even forgotten how I sometimes used music to tune out the silence.

Right then I’d been thinking about the extreme sports event that was coming to town and how it had slipped my mind to ask Jude if he was involved. I could totally see Jude or some of those other guys participating in the competition and walking away with a hefty prize. I heard some of those skaters even turned pro and got sweet contracts with different companies.

“Just feeling off my game, I guess,” I said as she examined my profile. I reached for the radio and turned the handle to a low hum. I knew other questions would come but for now, I needed the time to think.

***

When Jude walked in for our appointment later that day, I thought it would be more awkward between us, having been so intimate at the quarry. Instead, the air in the room was downright electric.

No small talk was made as Jude pulled off his shirt and lay down. As usual he watched me closely as I gathered my supplies.

And once my gazed latched onto his, his eyelids became drowsy with lust.

I broke eye contact because if I didn’t, little work would get accomplished. “I might have to ask you to face the wall.”

“Why is that?” It was the first time he’d spoken since entering the room.