The Well of Ascension
Page 92
"Did you do this?" she asked.
"No," Sazed said. He accepted the paper. It was one of the transcriptions of the rubbing; the tear had removed the last sentence or so. There was no sign of the missing piece.
Sazed looked up, meeting Tindwyl's confused gaze. She turned, shuffling through a stack of papers to the side. She pulled out another copy of the transcription and held it up.
Sazed felt a chill. The corner was missing.
"I referenced this yesterday," Tindwyl said quietly. "I haven't left the room save for a few minutes since then, and you were always here."
"Did you leave last night?" Sazed asked. "To visit the privy while I slept?"
"Perhaps. I don't remember."
Sazed sat for a moment, staring at the page. The tear was eerily similar in shape to the one from their main stack. Tindwyl, apparently thinking the same thing, laid it over its companion. It matched perfectly; even the smallest ridges in the tears were identical. Even if they'd been torn lying right on top of one another, the duplication wouldn't have been so perfect.
Both of them sat, staring. Then they burst into motion, riffling through their stacks of pages. Sazed had four copies of the transcription. All were missing the same exact chunk.
"Sazed. . ." Tindwyl said, her voice shaking just a bit. She held up a sheet of paper—one that had only half of the transcription on it, ending near the middle of the page. A hole had been torn directly in the middle of the page, removing the exact same sentence.
"The rubbing!" Tindwyl said, but Sazed was already moving. He left his chair, rushing to the trunk where he stored his metalminds. He fumbled with the key at his neck, pulling it off and unlocking the trunk. He threw it open, removed the rubbing, then unfolded it delicately on the ground. He withdrew his fingers suddenly, feeling almost as if he'd been bitten, as he saw the tear at the bottom. The same sentence, removed.
"How is this possible?" Tindwyl whispered. "How could someone know so much of our work—so much of us?"
"And yet," Sazed said, "how could they know so little of our abilities? I have the entire transcription stored in my metalmind. I can remember it right now."
"What does the missing sentence say?"
"'Alendi must not reach the Well of Ascension; he must not be allowed to take the power for himself.'"
"Why remove this sentence?" Tindwyl asked.
Sazed stared at the rubbing. This seems impossible. . ..
A noise sounded at the window. Sazed spun, reaching reflexively into his pewtermind and increasing his strength. His muscles swelled, his robe growing tight.
The shutters swung open. Vin crouched on the sill. She paused as she saw Sazed and Tindwyl—who had also apparently tapped strength, growing to have almost masculine bulk.
"Did I do something wrong?" Vin asked.
Sazed smiled, releasing his pewtermind. "No, child," he said. "You simply startled us." He met Tindwyl's eye, and she began to gather up the ripped pieces of paper. Sazed folded up the rubbing; they would discuss it further later.
"Have you seen anyone spending too much time around my room, Lady Vin?" Sazed asked as he replaced the rubbing. "Any strangers—or even any particular guards?"
"No," Vin said, climbing into the room. She walked barefoot, as usual, and she didn't wear her mistcloak; she rarely did in the daytime. If she had fought the night before, she had changed clothing, for there were no stains of blood—or even sweat—on this outfit. "Do you want me to watch for anyone suspicious?" she asked.
"Yes, please," Sazed said, locking the chest. "We fear that someone has been riffling through our work, though why they would wish to do so is confusing."
Vin nodded, remaining where she was as Sazed returned to his seat. She regarded him and Tindwyl for a moment.
"I need to talk to you, Sazed," Vin said.
"I can spare a few moments, I think," Sazed said. "But, I must warn you that my studies are very pressing."
Vin nodded, then glanced at Tindwyl. Finally, she sighed, rising. "I guess I will go and see about lunch, then."
Vin relaxed slightly as the door closed; then she moved over to the table, sitting down in Tindwyl's chair, pulling her legs up before her on the wooden seat.
"Sazed," she asked, "how do you know if you're in love?"
Sazed blinked. "I. . .I do not think I am one to speak on this topic, Lady Vin. I know very little about it."
"You always say things like that," Vin said. "But really, you're an expert on just about everything."
Sazed chuckled. "In this case, I assure you that my insecurity is heartfelt, Lady Vin."
"Still, you've got to know something."
"A bit, perhaps," Sazed said. "Tell me, how do you feel when you are with young Lord Venture?"
"I want him to hold me," Vin said quietly, turning to the side, looking out the window. "I want him to talk to me, even if I don't understand what he's saying. Anything to keep him there, with me. I want to be better because of him."
"That seems like a very good sign, Lady Vin."
"But. . ." Vin glanced down. "I'm not good for him, Sazed. He's scared of me."
"Scared?"
"Well, he's at least uncomfortable with me. I saw the look in his eyes when he saw me fighting on the day of the Assembly attack. He stumbled away from me, Sazed, horrified."
"He'd just seen a man slain," Sazed said. "Lord Venture is somewhat innocent in these matters, Lady Vin. It wasn't you, I think—it was simply a natural reaction to the horror of death."
"Either way," Vin said, glancing back out the window. "I don't want him to see me that way. I want to be the girl he needs—the girl who can support his political plans. The girl who can be pretty when he needs her on his arm, and who can comfort him when he's frustrated. Except, that's not me. You're the one who trained me to act like a courtly woman, Saze, but we both know that I wasn't all that good at it."
"And Lord Venture fell in love with you," Sazed said, "because you didn't act like the other women. Despite Lord Kelsier's interference, despite your knowledge that all noblemen were our enemies, Elend fell in love with you."
"I shouldn't have let him," Vin said quietly. "I need to stay away from him, Saze—for his own good. That way, he can fall in love with someone else. Someone who is a better match for him. Someone who doesn't go kill a hundred people when she gets frustrated. Someone who deserves his love."
Sazed rose, robes swishing as he stepped to Vin's chair. He stooped down, placing his head even with hers, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, child. When will you stop worrying and simply let yourself be loved?"
Vin shook her head. "It's not that easy."
"Few things are. Yet, I tell you this, Lady Vin. Love must be allowed to flow both ways—if it is not, then it is not truly love, I think. It is something else. Infatuation, perhaps? Either way, there are some of us who are far too quick to make martyrs of ourselves. We stand at the side, watching, thinking that we do the right thing by inaction. We fear pain—our own, or that of another."
He squeezed her shoulder. "But. . .is that love? Is it love to assume for Elend that he has no place with you? Or, is it love to let him make his own decision in the matter?"
"And if I'm wrong for him?" Vin asked.
"You must love him enough to trust his wishes, even if you disagree with them. You must respect him—no matter how wrong you think he may be, no matter how poor you think his decisions, you must respect his desire to make them. Even if one of them includes loving you."
Vin smiled slightly, but she still seemed troubled. "And. . ." she said very slowly, "if there is someone else? For me?"
Ah. . ..
She tensed immediately. "You mustn't tell Elend I said that."
"I won't," Sazed promised. "Who is this other man?"
Vin shrugged. "Just. . .someone more like myself. The kind of man I should be with."
"Do you love him?"
"He's strong," Vin said. "He makes me think of Kelsier."
So there is another Mistborn, Sazed thought. In this matter, he knew he should remain unbiased. He didn't know enough about this second man to make a judgment—and Keepers were supposed to give information, but avoid specific advice.
Sazed, however, had never been very good at following that rule. He didn't know this other Mistborn, true, but he did know Elend Venture. "Child," he said, "Elend is the best of men, and you have been so much happier since you've been with him."
"But, he's really the first man I loved," Vin said quietly. "How do I know it's right? Shouldn't I pay more attention to the man who is a better match for me?"
"I don't know, Lady Vin. I honestly don't know. I warned you of my ignorance in this area. But, can you really hope to find a better person than Lord Elend?"
She sighed. "It's all so frustrating. I should be worrying about the city and the Deepness, not which man to spend my evenings with!"
"It is hard to defend others when our own lives are in turmoil," Sazed said.
"I just have to decide," Vin said, standing, walking over toward the window. "Thank you, Sazed. Thank you for listening. . .thank you for coming back to the city."
Sazed nodded, smiling. Vin shot backward out the open window, shoving herself against some bit of metal. Sazed sighed, rubbing his eyes as he walked over to the room's door and pulled it open.
Tindwyl stood outside, arms crossed. "I think I would feel more comfortable in this city," she said, "if I didn't know that our Mistborn had the volatile emotions of a teenage girl."
"Lady Vin is more stable than you think," Sazed said.
"Sazed, I've raised some fifteen daughters," Tindwyl said, entering the room. "No teenage girl is stable. Some are just better at hiding it than others."
"Then, be glad she didn't hear you eavesdropping," Sazed said. "She is usually rather paranoid about such things."
"Vin has a weak spot regarding Terris people," Tindwyl said with a wave of her hand. "We can likely thank you for that. She seems to give great value to your advice."
"Such as it is."
"I thought what you said was very wise, Sazed," Tindwyl said, sitting. "You would have made an excellent father."
Sazed bowed his head in embarrassment, then moved over to sit down. "We should—"
A knock came at the door.
"Now what?" Tindwyl asked.
"Did you not order us lunch?"
Tindwyl shook her head. "I never even left the hallway."
A second later, Elend poked his head into the room. "Sazed? Could I talk to you for a bit?"
"Of course, Lord Elend," Sazed said, rising.
"Great," Elend said, striding into the room. "Tindwyl, you are excused."
She rolled her eyes, shooting an exasperated glance at Sazed, but stood and walked from the room.
"Thank you," Elend said as she shut the door. "Please, sit," he said, waving to Sazed.