The Space in Between

Mom waved Ladasha over to us on the couch and she hugged her too.

“Let me and Dad send you girls money each month.”

“Mom—no,” I said.

“Okay,” answered Ladasha. I hit her in the arm. “What!? She offered. And we’ll need to eat.”

Mom’s worried eyes looked at my body. I had gained at least ten pounds since I came home, but you know Mom, the worry wart.

“Don’t even start, Mom.”

She smiled. “Okay. But if you two need anything, you’ll come back. All right?”

I grinned and looked to Daddy who was smiling down at us three girls. Mr. Quiet, but always happy. He nodded at me in approval. I turned to Mom and shook her hand.

Deal.

ON THE NIGHT we got back into New York, we waited at the airport to try to get a ride out to our apartment. Every time we reached for a taxi, another person had already hopped in. “Hey, one sec…” I went digging into my purse and pulled out the card I had received from the old taxi driver who gave me a few free rides way back when. I dialed him up, and he was there in less than fifteen minutes.

“How was your trip?” Joe asked as he drove us to our apartment. I noticed he didn’t have his payment clock on, and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Ya know, same ol’ same ol’. Stressful. Dramatic. Sad.”

He nodded, keeping his eyes on the road. “Yeah. Sometimes trips can be more stressful than anything. Yet other times, they can be exactly what you need to realize what you're missing.”

Ladasha raised her eyebrow at the interaction between me and Joe, and I could tell she felt out of the loop. Moving closer to me, she began to whisper. “What is this? You have your own personal Yoda or something?”

A personal Yoda? I wish. But as it turned out, I just had a Joe, which was good enough for me.

I LANDED A job at a small, but awesome dance studio. It wasn’t completely paying the bills, but I was happy to have Michelle helping us out for a while. I was slowly getting into the groove of the city. And teaching dance to individuals who were new to the art form was the best thing I could have done.

Of course, I looked for any and every other dance opportunity that came up. Part of being a New Yorker was understanding the hustle of it all. Nothing was going to be handed to you; you had to make a name for yourself. And I was determined to make it. I owed it to myself. Everything was falling into place. I was doing what I loved, living with my best friend, and learning to stand on my own. But I still missed him.

I still longed for him.

He was a dial away on my cell phone, but I knew he had probably already found his Order. And I wasn’t going to get in his way. Ladasha kept begging me to at least call him to see how he was, but I refused.

One Saturday morning during the beginning of June, there were terrible thunderstorms. I had no plans of going out any time soon except to go to the art auction Ladasha hadn’t stopped talking about since she’d started her job. There was a knock at our door and I looked up from the couch to my best friend. “You expecting someone?” She shook her head, wondering who it could be. Dragging myself away from the couch, I walked over, opened the door, and was surprised to see Mom, Daddy, and Eric standing there.

“What are you guys doing here?!” I asked as they entered the apartment. Mom looked around and smiling, nodding in approval of our small space.

“We were just in the neighborhood and thought we would stop by.”

“No, really…”

They all ignored me and made themselves comfortable. Eric’s eyes lit up when he saw Ladasha, and I knew she had something to do with them coming here.

“Andrea Mae, must you be so dramatic? Just be happy we stopped by!” I laughed hearing this from my mom, also known as the most dramatic person on this planet.

My heart skipped a beat as I watched Eric and Ladasha embrace. I felt a wave of a jealousy mixed with happiness for them.

“This is great! You all can come to the art gallery tonight! We are having a big auction party,” Ladasha exclaimed as she held onto Eric as if he might disappear if she let him go. I was pretty sure Eric had no plans of leaving her side any time soon. That was until he came to a realization. “Oh crap! Andrea, I forgot!” Eric jumped up from his chair and raced over to his luggage, unzipping it. He brought out a package and handed it to me.

“What is it?” I questioned.

He shrugged. “Cooper sent it to Michelle and told me to give it to you.”

…Cooper…

Just hearing his name made my heart skip as I opened the package. My eyes filled with tears as I opened the package to see a broken down book, with photos of us as children together. We both looked so happy…

“What…” I couldn’t speak. I turned to my brother, looking for more of an explanation.

“He said to tell you that you were never his second choice. Something like you were his only choice. Michelle said he is in the city actually. Meeting with his manager at the Williams Management building.”

The air grew thick. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with the information presented to me. I looked around the room for someone to tell me what to do. Tell me what to do! I felt faintish. Yup, I was about to pass out, and my legs were almost about to give up on me. That was until I turned to see Daddy’s hand on my shoulder. I felt his love and support running through his fingers.

“Go, Andie.”

I couldn’t. What would I say? What would I do?

“Notting Hill.” I turned to see my best friend smiling towards me. A Ladasha pep talk was definitely needed. She always knew. “You don’t have to prove yourself to him. Do what the girl in Notting Hill did.”

Eric kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You mean in the movie when she said, ‘I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me.’” It was Ladasha’s knees that almost gave out now. She’d met the one person who understood her wackiness and saw her and loved her for exactly who she was.

I turned towards my mom, who rolled her eyes. “Oh for Christ’s sake Anders. Go!” She handed me my purse, tossed me a pair of shoes, and pushed me out of the door before slamming it in my face. The door reopened and my mom held out an umbrella and jacket. “Make sure to use these. It’s wet out there and I don’t want you to get a cold. You know me, I worry.” She winked as I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

And I took off running.

Chapter Forty-Two

I SAT IN front of Kyle wondering what he was thinking. I’d just presented him with my idea, and he hadn’t spoken a word.

“Are you sure this is what you want?”

I nodded.

“And you want me to actually call these people? Listen, like I said before—screw them, they don’t deserve to hear your story.”

“Yeah, they do,” I said.

“All right.” He shook his head as he went to his computer and started to type away. “I must say though, I’m surprised. You really pulled your shit together, my friend.”

I watched as the rain danced against the window, and I bit my thumb. I felt a bit drained after spending the past few months with my mom, but she was doing much better and told me to get back to my life. So I did. Back in the public eye. Back to my so-called-life.

I stood up and stretched a bit. “I’m going to go get some air, maybe grab some lunch. You want anything?”

“Nah, I’m good. But Cooper, this stuff right here.” Ky tapped the packets in front of him. “This is good stuff. If there was anything that could paint you in a good light, this would be it, buddy.”

As I stepped outside of the building, I allowed the water to slap against my face. My hands slid into my pockets, and as my foot stepped off the sidewalk, I heard the tires of a taxi come to a screeching stop seconds before it hit me. Annoyed, I slammed the hood of the yellow vehicle and yelled at the stupid-ass driver. “Jesus Christ! Watch where you’re going!!”

The driver rolled down his window and apologized. I didn’t care; I began to continue walking until I heard the driver holler at me. “Coop? Cooper, is that you?”

Turning back to look at him, I couldn’t believe my eyes. “Jesus!”

He laughed and waved me over to the taxi. “Yeah, well, they call me Joe on the streets. Get in.” I sat in the back of the taxi, amazed I had just run into the one man who’d pretty much saved my life in the mental hospital.

“So how you been doin'? I didn't think I would see you again after we left the clinic,” he said. Surprisingly enough, he didn’t seem as shocked to see me.

“I've been all right. What about you? You still saving lives?”

“Nah, they put me on these meds that make me actually think I'm human. The man's always trying to hold us down. Or I should say woman—my wife puts the pills in my oatmeal.”

“Yeah. Well, I'm sure you make a great human.”I smirked.

“Did you ever find that girl?” he asked. He was the one who told me I would meet someone other than Iris, and he was far from wrong.

“I did.”

“Yeah? And how did that work out?”

My head dropped to the ground. He noticed my look through the rearview mirror and changed the subject.

“Where do you need to go?” he asked as he rounded the corner.

I bit my lip. “I don’t know. You got a minute maybe? We could get some lunch.”

Chapter Forty-Three

I RUSHED DOWN the streets of Manhattan, getting splashed by puddles, dodging cars, and trying to deal with an umbrella that didn’t want to cooperate with me. Becoming frustrated, I tossed the umbrella to the side and became drenched in the rain.

The moment I made it to the Williams Management building I paused and took a deep breath. It was now or never, and I was ready.

As I busted into Kyle’s office, my heart dropped.

“How can I help—” Kyle looked up at me with confused eyes.

“Is Cooper Davidson here?”

“He just left…Wait a minute. You’re the girl. Holy shit,” he whispered.

“Language,” I murmured, taking after my mom.

“No! You’re the girl! You’re the one from the magazines! The strip club!” My cheeks flushed as I was reminded of the magazines. It wasn’t the highlight of my life, and I was trying to forget it.

“Yes,” I said with a soft voice. “Where did he go?” I asked, changing the subject.

“Lunch. You want me to call him?”

Please. I nodded and took a seat in the chair across from him. As he dialed, I felt sick. I knew calling wouldn’t do any good because I felt the vibration of Cooper’s cell phone under my butt.

When Kyle saw it, he gave me the saddest look. Before he could apologize and comfort me for the tears falling from my eyes, I shook my head. “It’s fine.” As I turned to walk away, wiping my face, I looked back at Kyle one last time, “And would it kill you to take Jasmine out on a date!”

He looked shocked. “What? Jasmine?” He looked down, and when his eyes reappeared, he had a slick smile on his lips. “Do you think she would be interested in me? I mean. Other than when we did…well…ya know.” He raised his eyebrows and stuttered like a little boy who had his first crush.

A small grin slipped from my mouth as I told him to call her.

AFTER RETURNING HOME, wet and depressed, I let my family comfort me. “Did you try to call him?” Daddy asked. I nodded and told them that he left his phone at the building.

“Well maybe…” Mom tried to give a bit of hope, but I wasn’t interested. Maybe it was a sign we weren’t meant to be. Maybe it was too late for the both of us.

Maybe it was time to move on.

I begged for everyone to stop talking about it and let it go. They finally agreed.