The Silent Waters

Next to the jukebox was a record player, along with a bookshelf filled with records. It was the best corner in the house.

Each bedroom was decked out with a theme from around the world. One had all United Kingdom décor, while another was decorated as if you’d stepped into Thailand, and so on and so forth. Going from each room felt as if you were going around the world in two minutes.

It seemed Mrs. Boone had decorated the place based on all the adventures she and her late husband had experienced. Their whole life was encapsulated in the cabin walls, and it seemed like a beautiful life that they had lived.

“I can’t believe she’s just now telling us about it,” Rudolph exclaimed, climbing out of the car with a shit-ton of homemade white sunblock lotion on his nose. “Imagine the kind of parties we could’ve thrown up here!”

I snickered. “That’s probably why she never told us about it. We would’ve trashed this place.”

“Stacey would love this,” Calvin said, dragging his suitcase into the house.

“FOUL PLAY!” the twins shouted, pointing their fingers at my best friend. It was funny how in sync those two were, even though they were so different.

“No mention of the soon-to-be wife at home, or you take a shot,” Rudolph said sternly.

“That goes for everyone,” Oliver said, pointing his fingers at each person. “There will be no mention of any females by any names, or you take a shot. If you are caught talking to a girl, you will take two shots, and so help me if somehow you manage to sneak a girl onto the property, you have to drink Rudolph’s piss.”

“Trust me, it’s probably the cleanest piss in this house. It’d actually be an honor to drink my piss.”

I rolled my eyes. A dudes’ weekend. No chicks or drink piss, a solid rule to follow.

By midday, we were all hammered and talking about music; everything felt perfect. All that was left to do was to take the rental boat out on the water.

“Fuck that,” Oliver moaned, half-asleep on the couch. “I’m going to stay right here and do absolutely nothing until it’s time to eat pizza tonight.”

“Come on, you can do nothing on the boat. It’s a perfect day outside.”

“If your idea of a perfect day is clouds in the sky, be my guest, but I’m gonna sit my big butt on this sofa and not move until it’s time for pizza.”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. Where’s your brother?”

Three seconds later I saw Rudolph talking to a fake plant in the corner. Not only talking to a plant, but hitting on it. “So, you come here often?” he said, stroking the plastic leaves.

I glanced at my watch. “Dude, it’s one in the afternoon! How are you all this wasted?”

I lifted up the empty bottle of Fireball and realized the answer to my question. “Calvin! I need a partner in crime to come on the lake with me, and pull these two fools out there. Calvin?” I shouted, walking through the house.

He was nowhere to be found.

I searched each and every room twice. It wasn’t until I walked around the perimeter of the cabin that I found him, kneeling behind a bush, whispering. “Okay, babe. I gotta go, I hear someone coming. I love you, too.”

“You little punk.” I laughed as I watched Calvin hang up his phone quickly and jump to a standing position.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said defensively.

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about. You were just talking to Stacey!”

“What? No way. It’s a dudes’ weekend. No chicks.”

I narrowed my eyes. “I’ll let it slide and you can avoid taking shots if you come help me set up the boat for the afternoon and get the other two out on it.”

He grimaced. “I’m not really in the—”

“GUYS! CALVIN HAS BEEN TALKING TO—”

He ran at me, slamming his hand over my mouth. “Dude, okay, okay! I don’t know if you noticed, but the twins pour their shots in red solo cups.”

“Well, suit up, buddy! We are going fishing. Booze, dudes, and their rods.”

“That sounds like a really unfortunate title for the upcoming events. I’m concerned about the upcoming events.”

“Concerned?” I asked with a sly grin. “Or excited?”

Calvin started jumping up and down like a dramatic five-year-old. “So excited! So excited! I’ll get the booze and the dudes. You bring that long rod of yours.”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.”

He started for the kitchen and paused. “Just to be clear…the rod is your fishing rod, Brooks. Not your dick.”

I wiggled my eyebrows. “Call it what you wanna call it, brother. Either way, I’m bringing it. Bring your guitar, too. We can go over some chords and lyrics for the next album.” His face lit up. I’d never known someone who got so excited about work—well, other than me.

An hour later we took the boat out on the water and shut off the engine in the middle of the lake. It was peaceful, not another boat around. Then, we started drinking more. Nothing better than day drinking with your boys, on a boat in Wisconsin. It was a requirement to live in the state.

“You know, I’m a bit worried about the band,” Oliver said as we sat. The three of them were wasted out of their minds, and for some reason, I’d become the one to make sure they didn’t kill themselves. Every time we took a shot, I had my faithful beer can beside me, which I’d used as a fake chaser where I’d spit the disgusting shot out.

“Yeah? Why’s that, Oli?” I asked.

“Well, see, I never wanted to have a girl group, and it’s pretty alarming that lately three-fourths of the team has been growing vaginas.”

“What?”

“It’s pretty pathetic, and frankly, weird as fuck. I mean, you couldn’t even go twenty-four hours without calling Stacey, Calvin. Brooks, don’t think I didn’t notice you snapchatting to Maggie. And my twin is currently in love with a plant, though, knowing his weird love for Mother Nature, I’m not that surprised.”

I glanced over at Rudolph, who was hugging the potted plant he dragged along with him. “Her name is Nicole, and she’s beautiful,” he slurred with pride.

“See what I mean? My friends are turning into little babies, and I fear soon enough we’ll be writing songs about marriage and diapers.”