The Sheik
Page 172He swung round swiftly and flung his arms about her, crushing her to
him savagely, forgetting his strength, his eyes blazing. "God! Do you
think it is easy to let you go, that you are taunting me like this? Do
you think I haven't suffered, that I'm not suffering now? Don't you
know that it is tearing my heart out by the roots to send you away? My
life will be hell without you. Do you think I haven't realised what an
infinitely damned brute I've been? I didn't love you when I took you, I
only wanted you to satisfy the beast in me. And I was glad that you
were English that I could make you suffer as an Englishman made my
life, I think--up till now. I thought I didn't care until the night I
heard that Ibraheim Omair had got you, and then I knew that if anything
happened to you the light of my life was out, and that I would only
wait to kill Ibraheim before I killed myself."
His arms were like a vice hurting her, but they felt like heaven, and
she clung to him speechless, her heart throbbing wildly. He looked down
long and deeply into her eyes, and the light in his--the light that she
had longed for--made her tremble. His brown head bent lower and lower,
his eyes faded into misery.
"I mustn't kiss you," he said huskily, as he put her from him gently.
"I don't think I should have the courage to let you go if I did. I
didn't mean to touch you."
He turned from her with a little gesture of weariness.
Fear fled back into her eyes. "I don't want to go," she whispered
faintly.
He paused by the writing-table and took up the revolver he had loaded
and thumb, and replaced it before answering.
"You don't understand. There is no other way," he said dully.
"If you really loved me you would not let me go," she cried, with a
miserable sob.
"If I loved you?" he echoed, with a hard laugh. "If I
loved you! It is because I love you so much that I am able to do it. If
I loved you a little less I would let you stay and take your chance."