The Sea of Tranquility
Page 28If it’s at all possible, I think his eyes get wider.
“You f**ker! You knew!” He’s going back and forth between Sunshine and I, unable to decide who to look at. Neither of us is looking at him.
He’s regaining his composure and I remember myself enough to walk over and close the garage. My house is all the way down at the end of the street, so nobody can really see in, but Drew is being obnoxiously loud right now and we don’t need an audience.
“Well, well, well.” Now he’s pleased with himself but there’s no reason for it. Drew can find a way to make anything his own personal triumph. Obviously his charms are so irresistible that he can make a not-quite-mute girl talk. Or maybe he just thinks he’s figured something out.
“How long?” he asks, and I’m not sure what he means until he motions between Nastya and I. “You two? How long?”
“Us two nothing. We talk that’s it.” I look across to where she’s leaning against the work bench. She keeps glancing over at me. I can’t tell if she wants me to know something or if there’s something she wants from me. I feel a mixture of relief and resentment. I’m glad to be done keeping this from Drew but I can’t help feeling that I’ve lost something irretrievable and that she’s the one who gave it away without asking.
“That’s it? She hasn’t talked to anyone since she’s been here. Not one word. Except apparently to you. And that’s it?”
“Didn’t mean to let you down.” I think I’m the one who’s disappointed. I know that she’s just a little bit less mine than she was a few minutes ago.
“She doesn’t even have an accent.” He turns his attention back to Nastya.
“Disappointed?” Her voice comes out like arsenic-laced honey. It sounds nothing like the one she uses with me.
“Extremely. I thought it would be hot. I’ve never had someone scream my name with an accent before. I was looking forward to it.”
“You’re vile.” There’s more amusement than malice there.
“You’ve been waiting a while to say that to me, haven’t you? Feel good?”
“Not as good as I thought it would.” She scrunches up her nose as she thinks about it and she looks unbearably cute. She’s obviously done because she walks to the back of the garage to hit the button and open the door back up.
“Hey,” Drew calls before she can press it, as if he’s just remembered something monumental. “Did you just call me a cocksucker?” he asks.
Her eyes light up for him and one side of her mouth quirks into the faintest hint of a smile. “True story.”
The mischief in his eyes matches hers and his smile is a mixture of pride and disbelief and I get why she chose to speak to him.
“Welcome to the party, Sunshine.”
Nastya
The party at Jen Meadows’ house is lame and we know when we get there that we probably won’t stay. It’s a relief, because even though it’s inside, the noise at these things always gets to me. It’s too hard to filter out the sounds and where they’re coming from. I’ve gotten to the point where I can relax some indoors with people around, but given a choice, I’d prefer the quiet.
Drew keeps me attached to his side more diligently than usual. Normally, he drapes his arm over my shoulders as we walk in, in a clichéd display of ownership, and then once that’s established, I’m released. He never lets me get far and I’m never more than a couple feet from him, but tonight he doesn’t want to let me go at all.
He keeps looking at me sideways and smiling like we’re coconspirators in something. I should regret what I did, but I don’t. Even though he did spend the whole ride over here trying to get me to tell him why I don’t talk, until I finally explained to him, in vivid detail, the fate that would befall him if he asked again. He didn’t. I think it had something to do with the love he has for his boy parts.
His arm snakes around my waist and he backs me against a wall just in time for me to look over his shoulder and see Tierney Lowell walk in the door. Chris Jenkins has a cup in her hand and is talking in her ear before she makes it through the living room.
Drew slides his hand down my arm and laces his fingers through mine, pulling me towards the stairs in direct view of the rest of the room. I have two choices; I can stop him in front of everyone, which would consist of me standing still and refusing to budge while he tries to lead me up the stairs, or I can go with him. Option A is the one that will draw more attention. Drew and I disappearing upstairs to a bedroom at a party isn’t going to raise any eyebrows. Apparently we’ve been screwing for weeks. It doesn’t bother me. Drew has had every opportunity to try to take advantage of me and he never has. Other than the arm around my shoulders and occasionally holding my hand, he doesn’t touch me at all. No surreptitious feel-copping whatsoever. Drew keeps me around for some reason, but whatever it is, I’m fairly certain it isn’t sex.
“Why do you want everyone to think we’re together?” I whisper when he pulls me through the door of an empty bedroom and shuts it behind me. He reaches down and turns the lock. The only light is coming in under the door and from a streetlamp outside the window. It’s a guestroom with a bed that’s obviously already been occupied once tonight. The music is still so loud that I don’t have to worry about anyone hearing us but I keep my voice down anyway and Drew follows suit.
“Because we should be.” He leans back against the door and closes his eyes. He’s delivering a line but he doesn’t mean a word of it.
“You don’t do together. You do one-offs.”
“I could make an exception.” He looks me up and down but his heart isn’t in it and I don’t know why he’s bothering.
“You could, but if you did, it wouldn’t be for me.”
“What would you do if I kissed you right now?”
“I’d probably let you, just to see what all the fuss is about. Then I’d rip your lips off and feed them to you, which would be kind of hard because, you know, you’d have no lips.”
He nods, not looking at me. “You’re scary.”
“So you’re not going to kiss me?”
“No. But not because of the lip ripping thing, though that is compelling.”
“You must have a good reason to tank your reputation over it.”
“Am I enjoying it?”
“I’m the best you’ve ever had,” he says hypnotically, like he’s using Jedi mind tricks on me.
“Undoubtedly. So why not just do what we’re doing anyway?”
“I could call your bluff, you know.” He opens one eye to look at me.
“But you won’t.” I might be a little disappointed if I wasn’t so relieved. “You should at least tell me why. I showed you mine.”
“If I showed you mine, you’d probably rip that off, too.” He won’t give me anything, even though there’s obviously something there to give.
“So what was the point of the past couple months if you never had any intention of following through?”
“People think I’m hooking up with you, they won’t expect me to be screwing everything else on two legs.”
“But isn’t that what you do?” I never really bought the whole of his image, at least not to assume that it was all of him. But he was the one selling it. I was led to believe that if you look up moral turpitude – or maybe just man-whore—the definition is Drew Leighton. This is shattering that image.
“I liked you so much better when you didn’t talk.”
“Yeah, I know. Can’t unring a bell. Don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone. Hindsight’s a bitch. Answer the question.”
He rolls his eyes and exhales, making sure I experience the full weight of his annoyance.
“It’s what I’m supposed to do. If I stop, everyone will want to know why. Then they’ll start speculating. Subterfuge is much easier.”
“Why me?”
“I figured you’d never tell anyone the truth.” He shrugs, and if Drew Leighton could do sheepish, I’d say he was trying, but it’s a little out of his depth. “Sorry. It didn’t start out that way. If it makes you feel better, I really did plan to pull the same shit with you as always. If you would have gone for it, we’d have hooked up the first possible opportunity and we would not be here right now. But you just seemed to take it all as a joke and it was a relief. I was relieved to not have to follow through on it and the more I chased you, the less you took me seriously. So the real question is why did you put up with it?”
“Same reason as you. People smell your piss all over me, they assume I’m off the table. Other than Ethan the Arrogant, I get left alone. Win-win.” I don’t really care what people say about me. I’m fine with lies and rumors. It’s the truth I don’t want being told.
“Where does Josh fit into this?” he asks, finally meeting my eyes.
“Aren’t we?” he probes.
“Josh is screwing someone else.” Add that to the fact that he doesn’t want to have to give a crap about anyone ever again and he’s kind of an impossible dream.
“So? Josh Bennett has a f**k buddy.” He shrugs like he’s just told me that Josh wears pants. It’s the same tone he used when he dropped it on me the first time and it sucks just the same to hear it. “How do you think he’s managed to keep his hands off of you this whole time? Doesn’t mean anything.” The look I give him says otherwise. “Don’t get all judgmental. He’s a good guy, not a saint.”
“What is she to him?” I try not to sound jealous or like I’m fishing for information, but I am on both counts.
“She,” he says, looking at my chest, because he is still Drew, before pulling his gaze up to my eyes, “is a poor man’s Sunshine.”
I have a seriously hard time believing that, because Josh never comes anywhere near me.
“He doesn’t even look at me sideways much less try to touch me.”
“You’re right. He doesn’t look at you sideways. He looks right at you and doesn’t even try to hide it. The only thing I’ve ever seen him drool over as much has four legs and is made of mahogany but I don’t think he’s planning to ask it out any time soon.”
“Don’t let him do that, Drew. Not with me. He’ll listen to you.”
“No. He won’t,” he pauses to look up at me from the floor. “I think that beam’s been cut, Nastya.”
“Beam’s been cut?”
“Yeah, like that time has passed, that ship has sailed, that cherry’s been popped. I was just trying to put it in building terms but my frame of reference is limited. Didn’t work, huh?”
“Not really.”
“Don’t worry. Josh likes to keep his life free of unnecessary complications. I think you’re safe for a while.” He reaches up and tousles his hair purposefully.
“How long do we have to stay in here?” I’m done with the Josh conversation. Some things are better left alone and this is the definition of one of those things. I look at the tangled sheets on the bed and decide against it. I slide down the wall onto the floor next to Drew and cross my ankles. He pulls my head onto his shoulder, letting me lean against him.
“At least another twenty minutes. I have a reputation to uphold.”