The Rocker Who Shatters Me (The Rocker 9)

I tossed back my covers and slipped out of my roost before pulling back the curtains of hers. When I saw her red-rimmed eyes and her tear—streaked face my heart hurt all over again, but for her this time. I didn’t waste another minute as I climbed into the roost with her and laid my head on her chest. Her arms wrapped around me and I closed my eyes as a sense of peace washed over me for a moment.

I wasn’t sure how long we lay there like that, silently offering each other comfort as we rode on that tour bus toward Chicago. But it felt good. It was exactly what I’d been needing. Some of my pain eased during the time that Marissa and I held each other, some of the guilt disappeared for the moment, and my anger at Devlin and the world vanished. It would come back later with a vengeance, but for that little bit of time, I was okay.

Eventually both our stomachs began to grumble and growl. My appetite had been absent for a while now so the sudden feeling of being hungry was almost alien to me. I wasn’t going to turn my back on it and ignore it, either. “Want something to eat?” I asked her. She shrugged and nodded her head and I sat up. “Be right back.”

The guys were still jamming when I went to the fridge and pulled out a small frozen pizza. I turned my back to them, not wanting them to see any lingering evidence of my earlier tears while I fixed Marissa and myself some lunch. As I moved around, grabbing two drinks and a bag of baked chips along with the nuked pizza, I could feel eyes following me. From the way my body responded—my nipples almost instantly tightening, my panties growing damp once more, the small hairs on my body standing to attention—I knew it was Devlin.

If I looked at him I knew I would probably throw one of the cans of soda in my hand at his head, so I kept my back to him as I finished up and then walked back to the sleep area where Marissa was waiting on me.

Some of my earlier appetite vanished but I forced myself to nibble on a few chips and eat one of the little triangles I’d cut the pizza into. When I was done I felt a little better, but my anger was coming back like a tidal wave, washing away any other emotions inside of me.

“I keep thinking about that fucking bet,” I surprised myself by confessing, tearing the napkin in my hands in two in my agitation. “How could they…” I stopped and shook my head. Was I really heartbroken over them both? No, I was pissed off at them both, but only one of them had broken my heart. “How could he do that to me? I thought we had something special, but all I ended up being was some kind of immature fun for him and damn Zander.”

I glared down at the two torn pieces of napkin in my hand as if they were the cause of all my problems. I tore them both into shreds, wishing it was Devlin’s face. If I’d been paying more attention to Marissa and not the napkin, I would have seen the way her face lit up with an evil smile.

“Let’s have a little immature fun of our own, Nat.”

I gathered my mess into a small pile, not really paying attention. Immature fun? Was she offering..? “I love you and all, Rissa, but I’ve never been interested in experimenting with a girl before.”

Marissa’s giggles made me finally raise my head. When was the last time I’d heard her really laugh like that? Not in the last year that was for sure. It was a pretty sound and I couldn’t help but smile at it. She grabbed her sides, laughing so hard that tears slipped from her cheeks and I could feel pink filling my cheeks that I’d obviously taken her question the wrong way. “No, no,” she got out around her continued giggles. “I wasn’t suggesting that, Nat. I swear.”

“Oh.” I grinned at my own silliness. “Sorry, Ris. What were you going to say?”

Marissa tried to get a hold of her giggles and shifted closer to me, lowing her voice as she spoke. “I was thinking about that bet that Dev and Z made. How about we make one of our own?”

A bet of our own? The idea instantly held appeal. Why shouldn’t I do the same thing to Devlin that he had done to me? “You’ve roused my interest, my friend.”

Some of the laughter left Marissa’s lovely face. “Let’s make Wroth and Devlin sweat. It’s obvious they want us to take them back. Especially Dev. He’s like a kicked puppy around you.”

My own grin faltered. Was he? I hadn’t noticed. But even a blind man could see how lost Wroth was without Marissa. “Wroth isn’t much better, Rissa,” I told her quietly.

“Whatever, I don’t care,” she said, but I didn’t believe her for a second. “I don’t want a man who is going to cheat on me.”

“And I don’t want one who treats me as nothing more than a game,” I assured her. That was exactly how Devlin had treated me, and all his assertions of caring for me had simply been a part of his game.

“So let’s make them the game.” Her grin was evil, and that scared me just a little. Marissa didn’t have an evil bone in her body. “I bet you that I can make Wroth beg me for another chance, seduce him and then drop him before you can do the same to Devlin.” Marissa said with a dangerous glint in those beautiful blue eyes of hers.

“You want me to seduce Devlin?” If it was possible to whisper a shriek, then I did it right then. How could she suggest that to me? I’d already gone down the road of sex with Devlin again over six weeks ago. It had been mind-blowing, but had left me feeling cheap and easy. And twice as broken. “Have you lost your fucking mind? I don’t want to get within touching distance, let alone let him kiss me.”

“I didn’t say it was going to be easy.” Marissa reached for my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “They deserve some payback for breaking our hearts. It’s not fair that they got to move on while we are stuck in misery. It’s obvious that they want another chance, so we will let them think they can have it. We’ll let them get their hopes up, their hearts invested just like ours were then. Then we get one last good fuck, the closure that we both need, and drop their asses, shatter their hearts like they did ours. Don’t tell me that the idea doesn’t tempt you, Nat.”

I couldn’t tell her that. It was very, very tempting. But it was also very, very dangerous. The reason I hated Devlin so much was because I still loved him. If I let my guard down, which I would have to in order to go through with this bet, then there was a very big chance that I would be hurt right along with the man I was trying to shatter. Was I willing to risk that? Was it worth the added pain to myself to break him as I was broken?