The Rocker Who Holds Me (The Rocker 1)

Even my own wallet. Rich pays me well for taking care of my guys, something I would have done for free. But Nik and Jesse made him put me on his payroll when I was eighteen. I haven’t had any need to touch the money that I earned. If there was something the guys thought I wanted they just bought it for me. If I needed something they pushed their credit cards into my hands and made sure I used them.

By the time all the details were taken care of there were only a few days left until the end of the tour. One more stop, two more concerts, and then we were going to be on a plane. I was excited. We have never had a whole summer off. I would get to sleep in for three months! That thought alone made me sigh.

“I think you should see a doctor.”

My head snapped up at the sound of Nik’s voice. He and Jesse have been sitting at the back of the bus with me watching TV for the last hour. I was feeling better after my morning of vomit filled fun. “No.”

He was sitting right beside of me so I didn’t have time to move when he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. “Yes, Emmie. You are nothing but bones now. You aren’t eating. And I heard you this morning in the bathroom. You sleep all the time, and you keep having bitchy mood swings. Something is wrong.”

“I don’t want to go to the doctor.” Okay, maybe I did. I was scared that there was something seriously wrong with me, like an ulcer or something. I’ve never been this sick in my life. It takes all I have to keep water down these days. But I was still terrified of doctors.

“We’ll go with you, Em.” Jesse promised, twirling a drum stick around his fingers expertly. “We won’t let them hurt you.”

I took a harder look at him. He was really worried about me. I could see it in the way he was looking back at me that he was a little scared too. I couldn’t handle that. So I gave in. “Okay.” I whispered. “I’ll find a doctor when we get to the beach house.”

They both seemed to relax a little. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.” That’s when I realized that Jesse thought that something bad was wrong with me. I pushed off of Nik and climbed onto the drummer’s lap. His arms clenched around me and I let him hold me. No one said a word as we drove through the night, my closeness seeming to soothe something in the big man.

--

I woke with a warm body wrapped around me. It wasn’t unusual for me to sleep in the same bed with one of the guys. When you live on a bus you sleep where you can. I knew who it was by the breath on the back of my neck. Jesse was a mouth breather. Yawning I moved until I was sitting up. He didn’t even move. His arms fell back on the sofa beside of him and I stood, trying to stretch some of the kinks from my tired muscles.

When I glanced down at my friend my heart melted a little. He, like the rest of my guys, loved me more than anything in the world. And I loved him just as much. Smiling I picked up a throw from the chair against the opposite wall and draped it over him before bending to brush a kiss over his brow.

The bus was still moving and I knew I should get some more sleep. There wouldn’t be time for a nap once we got into Galveston. It will be nothing but rushing from the moment we stopped. My stomach was thankfully cooperating with me and I didn’t have to fight with the urge to vomit. So I walked through the sleeping quarters, where the two sets of bunk beds were pressed against opposite walls.

Shane was muttering in his sleep, his favorite Gibson clutched in his arms like a child with a stuffed animal. On the bottom bunk his brother was out of it. I checked to make sure that he didn’t have an open bottle of liquor and then pulled the covers up over Drake’s bare back. I worried about Drake the most. No one ever talked about his reasons for needing to drink away the past. We all knew what his demons were. And we all knew that until he was ready there was nothing we could do but watch over him. The two times that we had talked him into rehab hadn’t ended well.

I found Nik asleep in my usual place at the front of the bus. He was laying on his stomach with my pillow hugged tight and my favorite blanket over his waist. Why was he sleeping up here? He hated the front of the bus because the windows weren’t as tinted and let in too much light during the day. But there he was, drooling all over my pillow and hogging my couch.

With a sigh I pushed at his shoulders, making him turn over so that I could climb in beside of him. He didn’t even protest as I snuggled close to his naked chest and pillowed my head on his chest. I inhaled his clean, completely unique Nik smell and closed my eyes. This was as close to paradise as I would ever get.

Soft warm lips brushed across my forehead and his strong arms wrapped around me pulling me closer against his chest. “You don’t know how happy you just made me.” He mumbled.

But I was already half asleep, safe in the arms of the man who owned me body and soul.

Chapter 5

Tonight is the last concert. I’m anxious to get it over with. I feel like death warmed over, and today I have been the biggest bitch with mood swings that boarder on bi-polar. After looking all my symptoms up on line I was sure that I had a brain tumor. That has only added to my already raging anxiety.

My guys are all out on stage with lights bouncing and flashing along to the beat of the music. The crowd is still going crazy. At the opening of the concert Nik had promised them all one of the new songs that he was working on. One that he swore was going to be on their next album. It had surprised the hell out me and the rest of the guys that was for sure. I was sure that if Rich was here he would have had a coronary…But I was okay with that happening.

I stood just out of sight on the stage, torturing myself by watching girls throw their panties and bras at Nik. He was handling it all like he usually does, with a grin and seductive looks at the audience. I just wanted this night to be over!

Someone bumped their shoulder against mine and I turned to glare at the person, ready to bite their head off and spite down their throat. Then I saw who it was I rolled my eyes. “Hey. What the hell are you doing here?”

Axton Cage shrugged his lean shoulders. He had a new tattoo I noticed, on the inside of his left wrist. I nearly gagged when I saw what it said.Brie. “So you two are official?” I nodded my head at his wrist and he shrugged.

“Still working on it.” He informed me. He knew that I wasn’t the biggest fan of Gabriella Moreitti. Hated the bitch really. Little miss goody-goody. She disliked me just as much. Shane said it was because we were too much alike. I thought it was because the hoe had slept with Nik when we were touring in Australia and then took pleasure in telling me about it. Of course that had been more than a year ago and she was now with Axton. At least they were on and off again.