The Rocker Who Holds Me (The Rocker 1)

“Guys…”

The nurse just laughed and I groaned, knowing that the shit was about to hit the fan. “A baby doesn’t exactly qualify as a serious illness, honey.”

“What…” Jesse.

“…The…” Drake.

“FUCK!” Nik.

“Emmie!?!” Jesse again. He was beside me in an instant. “What the fuck is she talking about, a baby?” His eyes were on fire with confused rage.

I sighed and pushed the hair away from my face, knowing that I had to face this full on. I had wanted to ease into telling them. But now, thanks to the nurse I had to do it now. I wasn’t ready for this! I wasn’t ready to tell them anything.

Of course they would want to know everything.

“I’m pregnant.” I finally told him and watched as his dark eyes widened. His nose flared and I was reminded of a raging bull. Great! I glared at the nurse. The woman muttered a quick excuse and got the hell out of the way. Yes, it was easy to determine who my least favorite person in the world was right then.

“How is that even possible?” Drake demanded.

Despite the seriousness of the situation I actually laughed at him. “You mean you don’t know the how, Drake?”

He gave me a withering look and I lost my smile. “Don’t try to be cute, Em. You know exactly what the fuck I mean.”

“What’s all the shouting about?” Shane demanded, walking back into the room.

“Emmie is pregnant.” Jesse snarled.

“How the fuck is that even possible?” He demanded, turning to me in shock. Yes, you could tell who the biological brothers were in the band.

“Who?”

My eyes zeroed in on Nik and his softly spoken question. “What?”

Those ice blue eyes of his that have always been able to see to my very soul were on fire now. “Who, Emmie? Who is the father?” And his gaze went straight to Jesse. “Or do I already know.”

“What?” I couldn’t believe he would think that Jesse…

“What the fuck, Nik!” Jesse raged at his friend. “You think I would..? Have you lost your fucking mind? She might be hot, but I would never touch her! She’s like my sister.”

“I don’t believe you.” Nik’s voice was ice cold and I knew then and there that he was beyond pissed. Nik only went subzero when he was truly pissed. I wasn’t sure how or even why he was so angry. The rest of the guys were mad, sure. But not like Nik was. “I see the way you look at her. I see how she is always clinging to you.”

“Nik…” I broke off when his gaze turned to me. I couldn’t breathe for a moment as I took in the rage burning in his gorgeous eyes. He’s never looked at me like that. “Nik, Jesse isn’t the father.”

“Then who, Em?” He crossed the room so quick I didn’t have time to blink. He leaned his hands on the bed on either side of me and pushed his face so close I could actually taste the coffee on his breath. “Who the fuck touched you?!”

I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t form the words that he needed me to say. How could I tell him when he was in this frame of mind? Why was he in this frame of mind? This man who has watched over me almost all my life, who has sang me my own lullaby, who has loved me like a sister, and treated me like I was so special…He was looking like he hated me right now and I didn’t understand it.

Drake pulled him back. “Stop it, Nik. Can’t you see that she is terrified of you right now?”

“Just tell me who!”

“Why?” I cried. “Why do you have to know so badly?”

“So I can kill him!” He bellowed.

Tears spilled from my eyes. “What’s wrong with you, Nik? Why are you acting like this?”

“Axton? He was sniffing around a few months ago. Was it him? I saw him with his hands all over you last night.” He was struggling to get free from Drake now and I was scared that if Drake lost his hold on him he would hit me. “Was it him!?”

“No!”

“Who!”

Jesse put himself between me and Nik, but he turned to me and grasped my hands. “Tell him, Em. Tell him so that he will calm down.”

“I…” I shook my head. If I said it out loud then that would be it. I couldn’t hide behind my walls anymore. Shame burned my face.

“Someone in this room?” Nik demanded. “Is it?”

“Yes.” I whispered and Jesse’s head snapped back as if I had slapped him. His eyes met mine and I knew that he knew so I lowered mine back to the bed.

Nik heard me. It was like he had supersonic hearing because I had barely even heard myself. “Who, Em? Tell me who.” Had his voice actually cracked?

I swallowed hard and blinked away my tears, but was unable to contain them. “Nik…”

“WHO!”

“YOU!”

Chapter 8

If I told you it was possible for me to violate someone I love would you believe me? It’s true. I took something that wasn’t meant for me. I took it, and pretended like I hadn’t. I took it, cherished every fucking second.

I’m a bad person. I took advantage of my friend, of someone who has spent his life making mine better. Nik trusted me. I was the one person in his life that if he couldn’t trust then there was no one else. And I destroyed that trust.

Four months ago I was weak and selfish. But up until today, this second I wasn’t sorry about it. Had only ever let myself think about it when I was alone in my hotel rooms. When my love and need for Nik overwhelmed me to the point that I had no choice but to relive my stolen night with him.

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For once we had made it a whole day before a concert. I was glad because there was a storm brewing outside and I hated being on the bus during a thunderstorm. Even at twenty-one years old I was still terrified of thunder.

I huddled under my blanket and tried to keep my mind off the growing rage of the storm outside, but it was no use. So I grabbed my room key along with the others and ran from my room. The lights flickered as I ran the length of the corridor and opened the door to Nik’s room. I knew I shouldn’t, that I was chancing walking in on him with some groupie, but the thunder was just too much for me.

When I opened the door to his room I was surprised to find him alone, and took a second to delight in the fact that he wasn’t with some slut. The light from the bathroom was on and the door was slightly ajar, casting a soft glow across the room. He was laying on his back with one hand pillowed under his head while the other…